I feel like I m*lested my brother in his sleep because I was thinking if me touching his area disgusted me and I’m trying to remember if I got up and touched him but I don’t remember I was laying down I asked my brother if I did anything he said no but how would he know he was sleeping? It’s like what if I did something that I don’t remember?
confessing your thoughts will not help.. how have you been doing lately?
@K2024 Makes me feel better I can’t hold stuff in my head, I don’t feel very well How are you?
@Idontknow i hear you, however in the realm of OCD it makes the disorder worse, so yeah it temporarily feels better. but how long have you been confessing your thoughts and asking questions? probably a long time now, right?
@Idontknow and im doing okay lol. i’ve been in your shoes before so i hope i can help :)
@K2024 I appreciate your help!
@K2024 Yes, I have to confess because I feel like I’m being secretive if I don’t you know how ps be secretive
@Idontknow i totally understand, i myself share this struggle. the purpose of uncertainty is to challenge that belief, no matter how real it feels there is always going to be doubt about this situation. “did i, or did i not??” i understand its confusing and a hard task to accept. however at some point if you want to break free from this cycle, it is a necessary one. you know your intentions, you know who you are. OCD will CONSTANTLY belittle you into believing otherwise. it will not stop until you tell it to. there are no secrets, your brain is just filled with all the anxious hormones OCD so desperately is clinging on to. its reluctance, not avoidance.
@K2024 you are stronger than you think my friend
@K2024 I’m so worried I don’t know why it switched to me and now to him I record myself sleeping for evidence I’m worried But what if mine is real
@K2024 No :( I’m so worried
@Idontknow hey, i hear you, i really do. but do you realize how many of these triggers you go through each day? the way they just keep nagging at your brain..? reassurance will not get you anywhere and take it from me, you will keep repeating yourself. maybe you’ll feel better for a little while after confessing and someone tells you that you are not a bad person.. but OCD’s already convinced you that you “could be” and no matter what anyone says you will only keep digging your heels deeper into your OCD. my friend, how would you like to live your life? lean into those dreams, lean into your morals. OCD may “confuse” you of your morals.. i’ve been there. but thats what the disorder does, it distracts, manipulates and drives unnecessary attention to guilt and shame.. disgust. you are NOT that voice in your head. you are in a tug of war match and the harder you pull, so does OCD.
@K2024 Definitely agree, thank you for your support! I would not wish this on my worst enemy to be honest
If you did something you don't remember, then it's not really you. I don't know if it will be scary or liberating, but for me, I feel better after I see the worst scenario and think if it's really the end of the world, so I'm sorry if something I say here has the opposite effect. For a long time in my life, I was afraid of getting insane someday and do something very shameful or horrible. But I saw two people who had schizophrenia (my bf mom and a friend's son) and my mom in a psychotic break. They were totally out of reality. They didn't remember anything... And I didn't judge them. They clearly were not okay and needed help and, once they got the help they needed, they are living well. After analyzing these things, I'm no longer afraid (or at least not feeling desperate) of the things I can do if I go insane. Probably it won't happen, as I try to take care of my mental health in order not to reach this state. But this fear was gone as I kept doing therapy. I know it can be expensive, I know not everyone adapts well, but I think it's the best first step. Don't listen to your OCD. Instead of: "Maybe I did it", try to change: "Probably I didn't do it".
it sounds like your ocd is trying to convince you that you did something you didn’t. i’m sorry you’re dealing with this :(
Hey I am also currently going through this with me having a “dream” of me doing something very very bad to my little brother who likes sleeping with me a lot…I can’t tell if it was a “dream” or not and it’s affecting me for the last 3 months…It also doesn’t help that I am a very vivid dreamer and have amazing dream recall…The thing that helped me the most was seeing that Other people have also been going through similar things also
@Older Brother I’m sorry you’re going through that 😞 must be very difficult
@Older Brother How do you cope if it’s on your mind for the whole day??
@Idontknow The thing that’s helped me the most was knowing that I have never had the thought before, Knowing my Morals, and Knowing who I am as a person😄 What also helped me was seeing that multiple people have also gone through the same thing and that I am NOT alone…Even when my brain keeps trying to tell me that I am singled out
@Idontknow I also just posted my story about the “dream”, so if you wanna read it you can and give me your opinion on it🤷🏾♂️
@Older Brother I wish I thought like that When I wake up sometimes I’m convinced I did something bad nobody can change my mind and it’s like I go outside and everybody is normal and I feel like a wanted criminal
@Older Brother I’ll check it out
@Older Brother Does yours switch ? like I’m convinced I did something or my brother did something to me
@Older Brother You’re 18+ right?
@Idontknow Yes I am 18+
@Idontknow My brain still does this😂 I just try to think about how I’m not alone in thinking how I’m thinking and it helps a lot
@Idontknow My brain has actually never done this before…I don’t usually have nightmares, and I think that with it choosing my little brother(He is special needs) it upset me really bad and with how vivid it was it makes me wonder if I really did it or not
@Older Brother That’s the most difficult part 😞 You have a therapist?
@Older Brother Good, I have to ask because I feel like I’m being inappropriate
@Older Brother I thought I was alone honestly
@Idontknow Nah I don’t have a therapists but I told my mother and showed her the story and showed me doctor who said it was probably a proximity thing
@Idontknow No one is ever alone in the way they think about anything ever😂 we are human and we share a lot of similar things with each other…What scares me mostly about all this is the thought of “What if I really did this and I’m just using the excuse of a dream”…I don’t want that and it’s hard for my brain to realize that I will never get confirmation on whether or not it was real or not
@Older Brother If you ever get a therapist make sure they’re ERP certified Don’t talk to regular therapist about these thoughts
@Older Brother I don’t know sometimes I feel like a future serial k or a future r I’m so worried
@Older Brother That’s relatable or if something happened and I just forgot
@Idontknow Ima be honest with you though…while writing this comment rn I am currently breaking down crying…my brain isn’t giving me rest from these thoughts and the images and it keeps telling me “What if it was real and you are just trying to find an excuse for it” My own brain is against me when it has been with me for the last 18-19 years of my life
@Idontknow I’m tired…the guilt and the constant reassurance seeking just to end back up in the cycle 5 minutes later
@Older Brother Omg, I’m so sorry if I triggered you or said something terrible I definitely believe you didn’t do anything because you would’ve hidden it
@Older Brother I understand, I feel the same
@Idontknow No you are fine and it helps talking about it with people
@Older Brother Ohhh I understand if I say something wrong please tell me
@Idontknow Nah you are fine trust me😄 I need any advice/convo I can get
@Older Brother How are you feeling today?
@Idontknow My head is a lot clearer…I talked to my homeboy,who’s basically like my brother, about how the dream was affecting me and that I think me being hyper sexual had something to do with it because I would do a lot of bad things without thinking of the consequences(nothing like this though) and he said he understood
@Idontknow I also told my mom and some of the things I did(hate bringing this up) did include my brother while he was sleeping next to me, again nothing as bad as what I said in the “dream” happened, but it was still bad things…She said she forgives me and that forgiving myself is the biggest part
@Idontknow I’m really just scared that “how does this make me seem as a big brother”, “How can I forgive myself”, “why didn’t I see anything wrong with those actions until now as I just turned 19 and that “dream happened”….I asked Chat GPT and it said it was most likely a wake-up call
@Older Brother Would it help if you slept alone??
@Older Brother I think that triggers you him being in the same room
@Older Brother I understand
@Older Brother I feel like a p because it’s like what if you’re lying about you being 18+
@Idontknow See like after the “dream” I’ve been having him sleep in his own room🤷🏾♂️ but he soo attached to me and I am attached to him that he sometimes cries and get mad that I keep putting him out
@Idontknow It’s definitely a trigger now because I just can’t see him sleeping in my bed now, but I might have to get over that at some point
@Idontknow I am 19, Born June 18,2006 my birthday just passed
@Idontknow That’s just your brain telling you that…You are good trust me
@Older Brother I understand, but if it triggers you, you have to sleep alone because you’re going to have the same thoughts
@Idontknow Ye, but idk if being hyper sexual can just disappear…Like after the “dream” and me opening up to my mom and homeboy about the past, it’s like I think differently…My thoughts aren’t as heavy anymore and it’s like I have a weight lifted off me
@Older Brother I understand, I think you’re doing great not letting OCD dominate you!
@Idontknow See but that’s the thing…I don’t know if I have OCD…I’ve seen that a lot of people with hyperphantasia, really vivid dreams, and good dream recall can experience this
@Idontknow I also deal with a lot of Anxiety, stress and it was all around the time I was getting new management at work and my little cousins were graduating from highschool
@Older Brother No, because I can relate to you I sleep in a room with my brother but he has his own bed in the mornings I’m so convinced I did something to him in my sleep I understand what you mean 😔
@Older Brother I hope everything goes well!
@Idontknow Also don’t be so hard on yourself, if you ever feel like you or your brother did something to eachother always ask him…He will let you know, don’t let your brain control your thoughts
@Older Brother I feel like he’s lying I ask him all the time he doesn’t even like when I keep asking him if I did anything
@Idontknow Ye that’s your brain tricking you…”Would you rather believe your brother or your own brain” is basically how it goes except your brain is working against you
Ty😄 You are genuinely an angel and I think that is affected me so bad because I never really had the thought before to something like that…So when my brain tries to tell me that at first simple thought I just acted upon it and I wake up and can’t remember what really happened? I am gonna spiral outta control
@Older Brother You’re welcome!! I don’t want nobody to feel alone because I know that feeling I don’t think you did anything sometimes our brains can be illogical I understand you 100%
I totally know what you’re going through. I think I raped someone when they were asleep when I had intrusive thoughts and I can’t tell if it happened or not and he said it didn’t but like what if he didn’t feel it?
Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty
I'm worried that I sexual assulted or r*ped my dog when I was 17 and I'm 18 now. This memory, has came up multiple and changes rapidly, it says that I was also saying very disturbing things to the dog, calling her good and weird disgusting things like that. I don't know if I can live with myself if this is true.
18+ TW! Involves sexual content I have learning disabilities which means im always going to be 3-5 years mentally behind from my actual age… when I was 14 I remember finding people saying they work with kids “attractive” and I remember mastu*** over a kid around 5+ but when I was 14 I was either mentally age 11 or 9. So I didn’t know it was wrong, and as soon as I realised I stopped. People say I was young and it’s okay but I remember finding people saying they even walked past a nursery “attractive” but I don’t know if this is even the right word. Maybe cute? Because I find different emotions hard to tell the difference between, so maybe it’s cute rather than attractive. I never ever had intentions to do anything to younger individuals, it was just me finding people saying they worked with them etc attractive… which my ocd now plays on, because my friend mentioned they were working with kids but idk if it was the real me or not but I genuinely felt like I found it attractive and it was giving my so many groinal responses which then made me feel genuinely aroused like I wanted to do things. This plays on my mind because my ocd will always say “but you did/do find stuff like this attractive” but this literally stops me from eating, sleeping or anything. I can’t break from my compultions because what if I do genuinely find it attractive. I don’t think it’s even attractive maybe it’s cute? Like I find it cute… but cuteness can give people feelings down there I guess. I think because if my learning disabilities I found it hard to know the difference between “attraction” and cute so I did stuff over it because it gave me that feeling down there but that could of been cuteness feeling. I just need some support on this.
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