I feel like whenever I'm at church I'm not doing good enough or my praying isn't enough. I'm also disabled and half the time am unable to stand for long periods of time. My ocd keeps telling me that I'm not worshiping good enough because I'm sitting down or because I can't sing that hymn. It makes me feel so alone when I'm at church like god doesn't love me because I am not worshiping correctly.
You realize, of course, that it's OCD, not God, giving you these intrusive thoughts, right? God knows us better than we know ourselves.
Yes I know I just feel like I'm doing something wrong.
@MoHawk4500 The OCD thoughts are bad enough, but it's the accompanying feelings that really get us. Don't give in to OCD. You're in church and you're doing your best. Gos knows this. If you still feel bad, discuss it with your pastor.
I went to a Christian summer camp called Spruce lake when I was a kid. I didn't know I had OCD at the time, but I broke down in front of a camp counselor about how I didn't enjoy going to church. I thought it made me a bad person in God's eyes because I didn't genuinely enjoy church. I was very disappointed by how much time school took from my life, and then church just felt like it took even more. I was able to conform like everyone else, but I was unable to want to. It bothered me to my core. The counselor told me "your relationship to God is just that. Your relationship to God." It's not about how much you enjoy going to church, whether or not you like the people at church, how often you go or skip, or how often you pray. It's your connection, your love, your awareness of God and desire to be aligned with and close to God. You're life's work and how you treat loved ones and family is more important than the appearance you're able to keep up at Church. As long as you want to try at church, you're doing better than me. I want to just never think about it at all. like, ok, we know what to do, let's go do it. why do we keep coming back and redisucssing everything? didn't we decide on what to do last week? Can I please graduate from church now? can I get my church diploma? I think I've learned enough and I would like to think about other things now.
Thank you so much my dad is actually my pastor and I've grown up not being allowed to skip church. I have always struggled with paying attention during sermons and helping during services( I'm an acolyte) I just wish I could go to church without feeling bad because of my disability.
@MoHawk4500 I take it you're Catholic then? I'm not sure if it would help or hurt to know, but I grew up Mennonite, and I feel like that environment is a lot more accepting than Catholicism. If your pastor wasn't your dad, I would recommend considering other churches and denominations. Since going to college and friends weddings, etc, I've found that Catholic environments aren't as accepting in general. I remember my church deciding to allow a gay couple to join back in 2003. We also had so many members with down syndrome and autism. Within those walls there was a culture of awareness and acceptance. "Normal" kids were taught to be sensitive to kids with disabilities as soon as they could understand it. Every single kid there had disability awareness. We were even strongly encouraged to allow people with down syndrome to kiss us if they asked to. It always made me uncomfortable, but it meant a lot to them. I also credit that church for helping me develop with undiagnosed autism.
@roweder I am Anglican which is branched off of catholic and my church is small and we everyone is either adhd or autistic. I love my church even though because I'm scared to take communion because of my contamination ocd. And my parents didn't really care when I came out to the abt a yr ago.
@MoHawk4500 Ok good! that sounds a lot better than what I imagined. I hope things get easier!
I've been doing more research on the ins and outs of Catholicism, and man are the guidelines very strict. They're not bad in any sense, and following them makes for a good person, but with ocd these guidelines seem near impossible to properly follow. For example, it's a mortal sin to have an impure thought, and commiting a mortal sin puts you in a state of sin. This means you cannot receive the eucharist (body of Christ) at mass, which is a way to connect closer to God. You have to confess in order to be free from mortal sin. This is fine and all, but this means in my case I'd have to confess almost every week, which can be so tiring. I'm not trying to bash on my own religion, but these guidelines make it so incredibly difficult for me to feel good about myself. Knowing I'm committing one of the worst forms of sin everyday. Intrusive thoughts are a constant thing, does that make me a child of sin? I even skipped mass today because I feel guilty about being in mortal sin, but skipping mass is also a mortal sin! I feel absolutely terrible about myself right now, and feel as if my connection with God has been cut and it's entirely my fault...
Hi! I have been struggling with ocd for many years of my life, however, I have recently been struggling with religious ocd. Currently my ocd has been putting thought into my mind like, “you shouldn’t go to that party, because “God” doesn’t what you to” or “don’t do this or else it’s going to make “God” mad.” These thoughts have been overall causing me so much anxiety, and truly I don’t know what to do. I’ve been struggling to identify it’s actually Gods voice or not. Also, my ocd has been also making my prayer a very stressful part of my day, which is not how it should feel at all. Now finding peace in prayer feels more like a chore, than a conversation. Does anybody else have ocd like this? If so, any tips?
Hi! I have Religious OCD, and have been recently needing some tips on how to deal with this painful disorder. I constantly feel like God is telling me to do certain things for example, “don’t go there,” or “don’t do this or else it will be against my plan for your life.” This causes me so much anxiety, and makes me question if I am doing the right things to live according to his will for my life. I’m constantly worried I’m disappointing Him. Also while praying I get thoughts in my head saying I should for example, add for religious practices to my routine. This also causes me stress because while dealing with this disorder, daily religious practices become very overwhelming. I’m worried that if I ignore these thoughts during my prayer, I am ignoring God. I have truly hit a limit where I don’t even know what to do, and am searching for some tips if anybody on here has any. Let’s overcome this OCD together. Thank you
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