I need advice PLEASE!!!

PLEASE an OCD conqueror or someone who knows how to deal with this shit, I need actual fucking useful tools PLEASE. I’m going to contact a therapist tomorrow but I want to try and deal with this now. If you go back and read my posts (there’s a good amount), you’ll know I have a new bf and I was doing pretty good, minus the rumination. But I guess this relationship was a huge fucking trigger/exposure and my untreated soocd and roocd woke up and decided to try and make me go crazy again. I was getting a hold on the rumination (i think im doing rlly good with that) but when my anxiety triggered my groinal response, my brain immediately started checking. Checking for attraction to woman (soocd…this one fucking sucks it’s so fucking annoying), men (my ocd made me so numb i havent found anyone attractive other than my man), my arousal (libido is basically non existent), my feelings for my bf, if im feeling the “right” feelings, if im anxious, etc. I think I do a good job managing it sometimes (definitely not the best 😀) but FUCK the checking for attraction is so fucking annoying and it’s really ruining my progress. When I’m on social media and I see a pretty girl, someone w a nice body, or someone dressed provocatively I IMMEDIATELY get anxious and automatically start to check for any attraction (and ofc majority of the time it will trigger the groinal). Same thing with any handsome man. I’m so worried I’ll become numb to my boyfriend so I’ll start to check if I find the man on social attractive and automatically panic when I just feel numb (mixture of rocd and soocd fears). I’m willing to put in the work to get through this. I have tasted what it feels like to have a breakthrough/living life without ocd controlling me and I REFUSEEEEEEEEE to let this fucking flare up take this shit from me. I feel like shit rn but if I have the tools ik I will get better. So pleasaaseeeeee someone respond with something useful 😭😭😭!!!

ZedNayTah

Date posted: 22d

Very relatable- Im in a waiting list again for my ocd as the therapist told me that I need to go to high intensity cbt (this was my first session of low intensity cbt). Im starting Uni soon and I was so excited to get myself together thro8gh help- Im back to square one 😭😭😭😭 I belive in you! Try take care of yourself please and talk to someone close if you got anyone, sometimes letting it all out helps.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22d

I'm on a similar boat. Except I've been with my partner for 15 years, I love him, my biggest fear is losing this relationship because I'm in denial about being gay or because I'm bi and this whole other side of me is repressed and will burst at some point. But for me, it's not as much checking for arousal when seeing other attractive people, but replaying events in my mind in order to figure out if I might've actually had a "real" crush on a woman. Or if I was aroused due to a sexual situation/scene being sexual or if it's a legitimate secret desire of mine. Sometimes I think I have some clarity, but then it all comes crashing down with OCD presenting a new angle. My anxiety has been on high alert for days and I barely had any breaks/relief, and I can't take it anymore. I'm about to start treating here at NOCD, I'm committed to putting in the work. But in the mean time, I just gotta keep living my life, despite this never ending anxiety.

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