Can someone please help me :(

My OCD is so bad right now. There are medical reasons why but I’m panicking so hard right now. Every thing sweet thing I do with my bf gets replaced by the thought of another guy. Kissing him? Imagine it’s someone else, it happens. Or I cause it idk either way it happens. Smelling my bf’s shirt for comfort? Pretend this belongs to someone else. It happens. I cry. I’m intimate with my bf? It happens. I’m taking a cute picture *for* my bf, it happens and then I delete it bc I took it with someone else in mind. It keeps happening. I keep causing it. I can’t love my bf in peace. I think “my baby *my bf name*” it turns into “my baby *that other guy name*.” It won’t stop happening. Please help me idk if this OCD at this point. It feels just as affectionate as it would if my bf wasn’t getting replaced in these thoughts. That’s what scares me. Sometimes I even feel curious about it. I’m scared, please any input.

Madison the ...

Date posted: 13w

This is definitely OCD my friend <3

sjwmzn2023

Date posted: 13w

I do the same 🤍

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13w

@sjwmzn2023 I’m glad to know I’m not alone but I’m sorry you go through this too

lucia.lcf

Date posted: 13w

when i was in a relationship with my ex (recently broken up with & still in contact😅) i would do ALL those EXACT same things. like i felt disgusting. when i would be intimate with him i would imagine it was a different guy and start panicking and crying. even cuddling i would get random thoughts and have to look him in the face to reassure it was him. i ended up telling him my thoughts and how i did not want to think those things and that they bothered me. he did not understand at first and got upset but he listened to me when i told him how they are intrusive thoughts. i would have bad panic attacks about those thoughts and when they would happen around him, he would hug me and tell me how those thoughts are just thoughts and don’t mean anything. you aren’t alone i promise. i understand you exactly.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13w

@lucia.lcf honestly I thought it was just me :( I’m sorry you ever went through that. It feels awful. My bf knows about it too, it just don’t feel intrusive to me anymore :/ it just feels like I keep brining it up on my own for my own curiosity. Sometimes I know I genuinely am curious, at least initially, then it turns compulsive. Idk what to do, about the times where it’s not intrusive :( Thank you for sharing 💗 sincerely thank you

lucia.lcf

Date posted: 13w

@issphra 🫶🏻 ah i get that. you are welcome and i completely understand the whole curiosity thing i was the same with everything you’ve described

Anonimus ME 🦋

Date posted: 13w

is ocd, and it happens in all types of ocd, socd, hocd, pocd... You have to somehow learn to let it go, and even if it crosses your mind, you don't stay there, but focus on what you want to do with your boyfriend. The less you fear, the less it will happen... Honestly I'm worse with these other threads with that, but I understand your pain, the terrible feeling of "cheating" Try to relax somewhere, breathe, walk, watch a series, maybe you had a stressful period and it got worse... It's not easy at all, but practice is the answer!

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13w

@Anonimus ME 🦋 It’s just the ones that are genuine curiosity, at least at first, that get me. I feel like I’m using my bf. And I am. I always refocus and feel awful but I can’t help that curiosity to imagine a certain person every once in a while. I just feel awful. Selfish. Self centered. Horrible :( I don’t know what to do. I’ve fallen into this depressive state and I don’t feel like i deserve to get out of it

Anonimus ME 🦋

Date posted: 13w

@issphra 🫶🏻 ok, curiosity..do you like it or not? Even people without OCD have such thoughts, we have no idea what's going on in anyone's head, including your boyfriend... you're a human being, it's so normal, but you're drawn to OCD and that's where you fall into a loop and that's why it happens so often... it's just irrelevant, trust me

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 12w

@Anonimus ME 🦋 It feels like I do, it feels intriguing, interesting and then the guilt hits me. I want to think this is normal, but I don’t think I want to have this curiosity or that reaction to it yk?

Anonimus ME 🦋

Date posted: 12w

@issphra 🫶🏻 when it's your "original" desire, you can't feel so much guilt and despair... so you have intrusive urges, because I'm telling everyone something like that goes through your head, but only people who have OCD notice it, it starts haunting them, and eventually throws them into depression.. My advice to you is to try not to analyze when it comes up, no matter how miserable you feel, keep doing what you are doing, pay attention to the things around you, to the touch, the words, the situation that is happening outside your head... and what is most important, understand that it is like this for all people, only they do not give so much importance, because the thoughts are normal and your ocd adds everything else... it is fine... and you are not alone...

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