Bf has ROCD

Hey, so I don't have ROCD, but my boyfriend does. And I'm kinda worried. Is it going to last forever? I don't want him to live with that disorder for the rest of his life. He is going to start doing ERP. I've read a tons of books about the process of ROCD recovery. I looked for articles, posts on Instagram, I googled, I asked ChatGPT and yet I'm still worried it won't get better. Everytimes he tells me about his thoughts, about how maybe I'm not the one, about how he potentially doesn't love me, it hurts. I know he must be suffering more than I am, but its still an horrible feeling. I keep telling myself that this is not him, that it is his ROCD talking and stuff, but I don't know.. Its just, a lot to handle. Can someone help me? If you recovered from ROCD please tell me. Tell me how it is. Tell me how you live with it. Are you happy in your relationship? Do you want to spend your life with this person? Are the thoughts still there but you manage to live with it? And as his girlfriend, what should I do if he keeps telling me those thoughts? I have so many questions

Wolfram

Date posted: Yesterday

It does get better but only of the effort is put in. The process will stress him out and you'll want to reassure him, don't. Its better done with a therapist more likely to be successful. It is possible to recover but it might be one of the hardest things he ever does

Annelsa

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you. He's gonna get better then, because he's doing everything for that, and I know this is going to be hard for him, but he is brave.

Wolfram

Date posted: Yesterday

You sound judt like the support he needs

Knifed

Date posted: Yesterday

You’re doing amazing rocd is hell but as song as a we have a good partner it’ll be easy. rocd might not disappear completely since our brain is wired to constantly make us doubt ourselves and everything around us but we will try to not let it affect us. Your boyfriend is strong but he loves you and i wish you both nothing but support and happiness

Knifed

Date posted: Yesterday

@Knifed and as what for you can do is probably just keep doing to help him, reassure him that his rocd thoughts won’t come true and stuff some people often believe that their partner don’t love them anymore so i love yous as much as you usually say it won’t hurt ! best of love ^^^

Wolfram

Date posted: Yesterday

@Knifed Im gonna argue against that. No reassurance. It'll make him worse. Encouragement is fine

Knifed

Date posted: Yesterday

@Wolfram not everyone is the same some people want reassurance some need encouragement

JediMJ

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello. I’m sorry you’re going through this and glad you are trying to help your boyfriend and yourself. Confessing is a compulsion, so hopefully he learns to stop telling you his thoughts and also seeking reassurance. It just feeds the cycle. I’ve made a lot of progress and I continue to have to apply the things I’ve learned. On days when I’m tired or stressed, I tend to have more intrusive thoughts. It sounds like you are a steady support for him—I would caution you against trying to “fix” this for him. It’s good that you are gaining knowledge and understanding but this is his battle and he will need to tolerate discomfort. My ex felt like she couldn’t go out with her friends because I would get irrationally afraid that she might cheat on me, even though I knew she wouldn’t. It made no sense—how scared I was—until my therapist figured out we were dealing with ROCD. My ex made herself really small to try to help me and it didn’t work at all, for either of us. You have to let him live with uncertainty. And take care of yourself—I know how hard it was for my ex, though I didn’t at the time. Your feelings are also valid. It’s not easy to pour all this love into a person who can’t seem to hold onto it.

Annelsa

Date posted: Yesterday

Thanks a lot for your answer. I know I am not supposed to fix him, but I know more about ROCD recovery than he does and I feel like I have to explain it to him. And sometimes I'm encouraging him into not telling me stuffs, and accepting his fears but when the ROCD is active, he don't listen to me anymore. He told me that " I kept suffering for the last months" and that "you don't know how I feel" so idk what to do in those situations. I feel miserable. I don't want him to be like that anymore, ever.

Annelsa

Date posted: Yesterday

I wanna add that I don't plan on leaving him, and also we're are in a long distance relationship. He keeps telling me that once we're gonna see eachother it's gonna calm his ROCD, his anxiety, his thoughts and so on.. But I feel like he's probably wrong. Does someone know if it will disappear, just partly, or not at all?

Annelsa

Date posted: Yesterday

Does giving him the keys to recovery and just let him use them is bad? Like if I tell him all he gotta do –mindfulness, ACT and so on– and then let him do that alone, does it works? Idk if you understand what I mean

bubbsle

Date posted: 23w

Tips for Anxiety

Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.

Jpais28

Date posted: 13w

ROCD advice help for supporting partner

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

vy__

Date posted: 13w

Help me help my partner with rocd please !! 🙏🏾🙏🏾

I personally do not have OCD I am here because I love my bf of 6 years He is a great guy but he is having a hard time with rocd he is currently going through a lot of anxiety with was triggered by us discussing engagement plans This makes me sad because we love each other and I hate seeing a good man having to fight his own mind to be able to be in a relationship with me Someone tell me what to do Point me in the right direction please I am here for him and I will not abandon him I want to go back to him with everything I will learn from you guys Thank you

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Bf has ROCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community