False attraction?

Y’all I think I’m dealing with false attraction but idk and I can’t tell. It’s bugging me. It’s one specific (female) friend of mine lately. Idk if it’s cuz she’s a lesbian and it’s playing on my soocd or smthn. I keep having groinal responses around her. I don’t see her like that but I’m worried I either am starting to or already do and am suppressing it but I have had no interest in her in the last 2 years she’s been in our group. This started somewhat recently and every time someone makes a sexual joke or smthn (like flashing or twerking) it causes a groinal response and I just kinda shut down. I don’t feel anything in the crush sense of the word. And it’s bugging me that I’m having these thoughts and I keep having thoughts of my bf and then my friend gets placed into the thought and it just makes me upset. Annoyed. I feel this tightness in my chest and it’s not good. I like seeing this friend but I don’t get excited seeing her. I wonder where she is when she’s gone but I do that with all of my friends, if one doesn’t show to our group dinners I ask. I worry I’m making too much eye contact when we talk. I keep checking if I’m feeling anything anywhere but it’s just a persistent groinal response and I’m worried it’s attraction

vamp_

Date posted: 17h

In my opinion it does sound like false attraction caused by soocd. I know it feels scary but trying to stop the thoughts and groinals won't work. Just try to let the thoughts, feelings be there, let yourself be uncertain about that. I understand it's terrifying i know how it feels like but im sure it'll get better if you'll give less power to ocd :)

LiaExe28

Date posted: 16h

@vamp_ Thanks ;-; it’s been bugging me. It jumps from friend to friend and lately it’s her. I feel weird just being around my female friends in general tbh. Like the urge to kiss them or smthn. I’m in an ROCD gc and mentioned it and idk it just made me anxious cuz the response was “if you don’t feel a crush why do you think you’re attracted? And even if you were you’re not acting on it.” Ik that’s meant to curb the reassurance seeking but I feel crazy lol. I’m worried I’m falling out of love with my bf because of it. I don’t want to lose him. I’ve sobbed my eyes out at the thought of it but my brain keeps telling me “you’re gay youre gay you’re gay. Here’s this image of you and your friend doing smthn intimate like her putting on your makeup and boom a groinal response too cuz you’re attracted to this idea. Now convince me you don’t like her” idk if that’s normal false attraction shit but it makes me crumple internally. I don’t like it. It doesn’t cause intense panic but it makes me wanna leave the room constantly when she’s around. I keep trying to avoid her but then we hang out and it’s “see you like her. Gay” idk. I’m tired

vamp_

Date posted: 12h

@LiaExe28 I think it's a perfect example of soocd, ocd knows what will scare you and exactly what thoughts to give you for you to freak out. I know it's scary, I used to have those feelings randomly like I don't love my boyfriend or im bored of him etc., it was terrifying but i stopped paying attention to it, at least i tried. And it left with time. You can let ghe thoughs come into your head and the groinals, it doesn't define you and you're not doing anything wrong because of it. Also, don't try to force it to go away im sure it will with time but you have to be patient. I hope you'll feel better soon🫂

Anonymous