Do you guys evevr get confused when you see a masculine female I saw one And her hairs were so short and she had that masculine body its impossible to say she's a woman.. Im scared im attracted to her.. And ngl she looks like a man.. She's handsome .im sacred...im attracted yo ehr and i cant deny it..😞😨❓⁉️
I think it could be helpful to think about what the core fear may be: if it turns out that you are attracted to her, what feared outcome will happen afterwards? Then you can do a lot of exposures around that core fear. In the mean time, I suggest using "maybe, maybe not" statements and agreeing to the Ocd thoughts (to show Ocd you're not afraid)
So youre saying to do erp?
@one.indian.girl Yes ERP is awarded as the gold-standard treatment for OCD, that NOCD specializes in so I have no doubt that you can find an amazing therapist here to help you through this :) I’ve had sexual orientation OCD before so I can relate to you. It went away for me with ERP and pretending not to care about my intrusive thoughts
@Love1another<3 Did you find clarity on whom you like?
@Love1another<3 Honestly i am so sacred to do it.. I just don't dare to.. What if i like it Instead i sit with it..until it fades and just get back with life
@one.indian.girl Yeah I would say so! 👍 I think I figured out that although sometimes I may be physically attracted to girls (which I already knew my whole life), for me personally it has no affect on my relationships or my life because I wouldn’t want to date a girl anyways. I’ve always wanted to marry a man so whether I’m attracted to women or not, isn’t important to me personally and I no longer ruminate on it. But I know for others it may be important in their lives and I totally respect that! 🙏💕 ERP can feel scary 100% but it’s so worth it. Therapists have told me that my life was already hard when I was compulsing so at least ERP is hard but it will get me to a positive end goal which was a happy life :)
@one.indian.girl It sounds like for you, you are afraid which means that dating this woman is not in your values- regardless of whether you are attracted to her or not. I think everyone feels attracted to people or things that they wouldn’t actually want in reality. So the attraction isn’t the important part. It’s your values 🫶
@Love1another<3 Wait wait... What exactly you mean by "everyone feels attracted to thinsg or people they dont want in real life"?? I mean are you referring to geuine romantic/sexual attraction here Or are you referring to something paltonic?
@Love1another<3 And also is there a difference between being physically attracted and physically attractive?
@one.indian.girl Oh no no! No worries haha 😄 I have no way to know that answer. A therapist is best trained to figure that out with you if you’d like. I only meant that whether you are attracted or whether you aren’t attracted- if your value isn’t to date that person, then the question of attraction would really have no importance anyways because your value isn’t to act on it. If that makes sense 😅
@one.indian.girl I think there could be!
@Love1another<3 Im sorry i guess i misunderstood and asked the wrong question..sorry my bad 😞
@Love1another<3 @Love1another<3 i actually felt doomed..so i wanted to asked .. What exactly you mean by "everyone feels attracted to things or people they dont want in real life"?? I mean are you referring to genuine romantic/sexual attraction here Or are you referring to something paltonic?
@one.indian.girl No worries at all about the misunderstanding! I have a meeting in a few minutes but I’ll definitely answer after 💕 Also before I answer, are you 18+? Because I am
@Love1another<3 Haha I'll turn 19 in 2 days.. .. but its (ocd) been going on since i was 17 and tbh i learned many things about myself and ofc i was accidentally exposed to 18+ things when i was maybe in 3rd or 4th grade but became more personally aware of everything since 7th grade..so its like very much easy for me to talk about if it will help me gain clarity..
@Love1another<3 I'm sorry if im disturbing you.. but i really look forward to your help..i really need someone ..as i cant access any professional help rn.. Hope your meeting goes well..🍀
@one.indian.girl You’re not disturbing me at all so no need to be sorry :) I really like talking to people on this app. But I am sorry to hear that you can’t access professional help. On the bright side, I’ve seen a lot of people recover by learning how to do ERP on their own because they couldn’t afford a therapist. So there’s a lot of hope for you! ❤️🩹 For your question, in that moment I was referring to sexual attraction. I’ve heard many people talk about watching pornography and actors in the videos do taboo things that may turn the viewer on in the moment, but then afterwards the viewer feels uncomfortable and even grossed out wondering why the heck they felt sexual attraction to that haha 😆 It’s a common experience to feel sexual or romantic feelings even to taboo things. We can’t help what we feel aroused by. It’s an ingrained human experience. But if something isn’t in your values, it doesn’t actually matter whether you feel some attraction in the back of your mind or not because you wouldn’t act on it anyways so it has no affect in the real world. Random analogy: I find houses in Utah appealing because the scenery is beautiful. But I don’t want to live in Utah (it’s not my value). Never have wanted to. Therefore, my attraction to houses in Utah doesn’t matter because I’m not gonna move there- I’m not gonna act on that attraction so whether I find it attractive or not is actually irrelevant because I don’t want it
@one.indian.girl Do you feel afraid when you think of your favorite ice cream? Do you ruminate on questions about your favorite ice cream? I assume no and that’s because eating ice cream, especially your favorite ice cream, is in your values. You being afraid of being attracted to this person shows that it’s not in your values to date them. You don’t wanna be with them. So your fear is automatic reassurance in a way haha
@Love1another<3 . But can you tell what exactly taboo things might mean here? Like people of same sex Or just those sexual activities ? So you're saying everyone has attraction to taboo things For me its same sex attraction So,you're saying everyone has it? Or are we talking just about arousal Oh dear, im really very sorry im getting confused even with your long explanation..im sorry could you pls be more clear cause my ocd is very ... Cruel🙁
@Love1another<3 Have you ever gone into therpay?
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like you’re the opposite gender and that’s what you want to be and it’s very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i don’t feel like myself at all anymore. It’s making me not feel like a woman or myself of how I’ve always been my whole life. I’m really nervous and scared, it’s really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): it’s causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and it’s making me feel like I’m attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. I’m in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??
I was in the car I suddenly noticed someone across the road, and I perceived something that looked attractive and se&ual, like exposed nice legs, and I thought, well let's look, it must be a woman. she wasn't. it was a trigger and i wasnt ready. she was wearing low cut shorts. and the thing is when i noticed how the body was too small i think it still looked someway attractive, my brain perceived that overall look as attractive or se&ual, like it "felt nice" (?) idk. it all happened very fast so i dont know a lot, but I got immediately disturbed as i noticed and perceived such a look. i dont know if i really "felt" as opposed to "perceived". I didnt have desire. I didnt want it. but was i attracted? that's a strong word, but im afraid that the brain still felt something "nice", like the overall look was attractive or nice, as an instant positive reaction <brain: "oh that looks nice"> is that normal? am i a ****phile? i wasnt ready. it was sudden as i checked, it took some time to fully process the information. if i knew from the first thing that it was a trigger as usual, in a slow manner instead of sudden noticing, i wouldn't have felt this much uncertainty and these disturbing unclear reactions, i would thought "this looks se&ual because it is exposed skin but im not attracted to it". all this time i thought that when i noticed certain body parts was because it just looked se&ual and because of ocd, after this im starting to think that i find certain looks attractive and i recognised a similarity. maybe, could it be that my brain took some time to fully process things, and because it wasn't ready it wasn't able to relocate in time what was appropriate and not? like piece of informations didn't have enough time to be fully processed so instead of coming into one clear image it was fragmented, and something attractive slipped through as a separated information from the subject...? im very distressed and depressed because of this. the final nail in the coffin for today; i want to kick the bucket.
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