Forensic Sciences Internship

Hey so i've been mia for a while but school started and i just had a bunch of stuff going on. I'm back on my meds because the last few months were rough, however i've been through this before and i know myself and i can tell i'm getting better again, thankfully. Now there is something stressing me out and intrusive thoughts are taking over. I'm going to finish my major this year, and to do so i need to do an internship at a lab. We get to choose the lab, and so far so good. I have always loved Forensic Sciencies and Criminal Investigation, and for a while now i have been pursuing them academically, not directly but through a major and internships that will let me work in that field. So when i got to pick the lab i chose a forensics laboratory that deals with everything from forensic pathology to autopsies to toxicology, etc. I have been exchanching emails with the lab and everything seems to be on a good track for me to go there. However, I now start wondering if this is really for me, what if i get there and im too squeamish, feel nauseous, or just straight up have a panic attack?! What if i see things i never wanted to and they haunt me? What if seeing a dead person is too much for me? Or the smell or even the samples? Im genuinely scared of getting something engraved in my mind my ocd and anxiety can feed off- and i know that can happen because that has happened before in a very different situation and i worked through my ptsd episode with my therapist, but while also being haunted by it for months. The thing is, if this isnt right for me, i don't know what is, because i've been after it for so long and while i do believe i'll love it and feel gratified, i'm also so so so scared. Should i do anything to prepare myself? Should i be scared? What do i do? Anything would help rn guys.

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 21d

Yes all of those fears are expected and both sides could be true, you could see things you don't want to see while also be intrigued to learn about them. The smell is likely awful while something that likely one would become accustomed to working in that area. Is the second guessing yourself related to this career OCD talking or normal hesitations? The positive is your are just getting started so if you don't like it, you will know to get a job in a different field.

monicaxoxo

Date posted: 21d

Thank u for replying, and so fast <33 I've heard you get used to it and it's normal to feel uneasy in the beginning, but i still doubt myself so much. It's the ocd talking and making me hesitate about what was once clear. I doubt my potential a lot lately, and I guess this new internship is an open door to a world that used to "unreachable" but now the palpable possibility of it becoming real sets my anxiety off. It's like my brain keeps finding ways of making something good and that i've worked for, dreadful. Yes i'm only starting and I can always change paths, and even though i like a lot of other careers to do with my major especially, they just don't live up to Forensic Sciences. But i guess i'll find out, just scared it will be too much for me.

1231234

Date posted: 20w

Tips for someone starting out with Therapy?

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

Need advice plz ❤️

So for as long as I’ve been alive I’ve loved horror/ thriller movies and books. I really only enjoy reading thriller books. Since my harm ocd hit I have slowly started back reading thriller again, but I have to check for triggers before each one I read. There’s been a few books that I was really loving that I had to stop reading because something that would trigger my ocd would come up ( my theme is going crazy becoming dangerous , schizophrenia etc ) so if a character in a book starts hearing voices or something, I get so anxious. I want to be able to read and watch horror / thrillers again. Do I simply need to just continue reading / watching and sit with the anxiety?

Harm OCD

polarbearxo1

Date posted: 11w

pocd/career plans

i’ve graduated and it just seems terrifying now because my pocd is flaring up again and i’m terrified of myself , i was planning to become a teacher but i just find disgust in even applying and I want to avoid children I have had these recent thing where i have intrusive thoughts and im scared to look at children because im scared i might look at their intimate areas and it’s killing me because i avoid looking at children or even have conversations with them because im scared of what my ocd does. Even when i try to conquer my fear of looking at children and just letting the fear sit, my OCD convinces me that i do look at them in a weird sexual way and I feel like ripping myself into shreds even saying that.

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Forensic Sciences Internship

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