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Yeah, this is OCD stringing you along. When you are in the thick of it, the thoughts can come at you so fast that it is hard to keep up and even do the ERP. When this occurs, it helps to slow everything down. Lay still, let the thoughts come, don't fight it. As they inevitably start to slow, recognize that now is not the time to figure any of it out. Even if things start to get meta on meta on meta, it all cancels out and is just more garbage. If you feel like you are automatically responding because things are too fast, try for non answers, "Okay, thanks, sounds good, cool, yes, I got it". As you get better with sitting with it, you can try for more "Sure, I'm denying it", "I might be attracted to that yeah", "Hmm, I guess I don't know what it all means". Essentially, you are removing the power from these thoughts. It'll feel challenging at first and come easier with time. This is all based on my own experiences with similar themes. If you feel that this isn't appropriate for your situation, definitely reach out to a therapist or get a consultation from NOCD. Thank you for sharing, I'm going through it now too. I know we've got this though.