- Username
- YoCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hi! I struggled with Harm O, Scrupulousity, and HOCD and recovered. I was at the point where I told my mom (trigger warning) “I’m gonna kill myself if this doesn’t get better” and I would pray for God to let me die in my sleep if my obsessions were true so I couldn’t hurt anyone. I’m SO much better now, like even better than before the OCD hit. It takes exposure, healthy eating, and positivity—at least for me, everyone’s different. I’m honestly the happiest I’ve ever been so I promise you, it does get better!
I’m curious, how did the eating help exactly? I do not eat healthy at all. I’m finally starting to excercise though so that’s good
@OCDLatter-daySaint I guess I’ve just never bought into the eating healthy will help thing...probably because I don’t want to change
@OCDLatter-daySaint Hi! I’m a Latter-day Saint too! I have cut back on caffeinated sodas and I’m not as in edge. And as I’ve gotten into more of a habit of exercise, a lot of my other habits have gotten healthier too.
@OCDLatter-daySaint Food has a big effect on my menta health personally. But in general, food has a big impact on how we feel and how well our bodies and brains are able to function. I’m not a nutritionist or anything so I can’t explain 100% why I just know I feel so much better while eating wel! Glad you’re getting into exercise; it’s such a good release :)
@erin174 Gotcha. I can definitively make improvements on my diet. I don’t have a ton of hope though because I generally hate most vegetables. Like it’s really hard for me to eat them. There are only a few I am ok with. ?
@bobhope771 Fun! Nice to see you here. Thanks for sharing. I have started to excercise but I need to be more consistent
Hi- faith is very important to me. Many times over now I’ve fallen into this cycle of obsessive thoughts about my body -specifically my penis ?- that I have to make sure it’s good enough. Usually I’m compelled to masterbate and sometimes I’ll go a googling and end up viewing erotic pictures of men. This of course goes against my beliefs about what’s right and wrong. It chips away at my soul. I’ve often concluded that my thoughts and actions make me a bad person- tainted by the things I’ve let into my mind and beyond forgiveness. I’ve been in such a negative state that I’ve even thought about leaving my family because they would be better off without me ( also against my morals). I do well for a while and then it happens again. Prayer and determination just are not enough for me because I’m sick. That’s been and is the hardest thing for me to accept- that I’m sick. Talking to others about what enters my mind and the anxiety and subsequent compulsions is just too shameful for me to do. Honest and open communication with my wife and close friends is proving to be a lifeline for me. I definitely identify with the PureO profile. Been suffering for a long time without knowledge or help. And now I’m starting therapy. I have hope now of recovery. I recently took some advice and cut sugar, alcohol, and caffeine from my diet and that’s helping me a lot with my anxiety and irritability- sorry for the long testimonial
That’s my dream
I'm going off to college tomorrow and I'm dreading it, I'm dreading everything. Though I didn't fully realize it, what I'm now almost certain is real event/pure-o OCD has been making my life feel completely miserable. From when I wake up to when I fall asleep, especially as of recent, I'm just constantly scared, anxious, guilty, and sad. I genuinely have not felt relaxed or happy in months, and it feels like there's no escape. When I'm taking a walk, hanging with family/friends, my mind is just racing and I can't live in the moment. Physically speaking it affects me too, my heart rate is high, short breath, sweaty, all how you would feel when you're nervous, but just all the time. This exact theme happened to me before in the past and latched on for a bit before fading, so I assumed that I grew out of it, and it hadn't hit me again for over a year until March. But now that it's on again and I actually recognized that I'm dealing likely with a mental disorder it just makes it feel so hopeless and unending, like this will forever be my life. The worst part is the nature of my OCDs, even if I know what I did isn't a big deal, is that it makes me guilty around anyone. Like I'm hiding something from everyone I talk to, and it makes me feel like I've lost all my innocence and I've lost the bright, happy, ambitious person I was before this all came back. All of this makes college so scary because all I can think about is how if I keep feeling like this I'll never be happy there, It's so hard to think optimistically or positively and this is just killing me day by day. I don't want reassurance because I know that just makes it worse, but is there anyone out there who's been in this sort of situation? If so, what did you do to manage, how did recovery look, what's your life like now? Any help would be appreciated so much.
Hey everyone. Long post, but just want some advice. I’ve had suicidal ocd, with some relationship & existential on the side lol, for about a year and a half. My suicidal ocd is pretty severe. I did a small amount of erp for a month or two, but then took a break. Last week I started an IOP program. I also take 10 mg of Prozac, and have for about 5 weeks. The first week of IOP was great. This week I have went downhill and feel like my ‘old ocd self’ again meaning heavily ruminating and seeking reassurance. My exposure today was standing near train tracks. It made me sad, and scared. I didn’t want to do it. I keep ruminating. I am absolutely terrified I will not get better. I’m scared I will get depressed and think life is not worth it. Thoughts constantly run through my head. I want to be here so bad, but I’m scared I am going to give up. I constantly worry I won’t be “happy” long term and I won’t recover. Can anyone give me some hope? I am scared I’m a lost caus. Any recovery stories? I’ve never had depression and I’m feeling a bit worried about myself from feeling tired and sad. I don’t know many people with suicidal ocd- I just want to know I can recover. Thanks for reading!
I really just need to vent. I recently had a relapse and while some days it seems like I’m feeling better, others are so difficult. Today, I’m breaking down at work in the bathroom and I feel so awful about that. Aside from the really scary thoughts I’m having about my health and my family members, I’m starting to feel really hopeless about the future. Like I’m never going to get better and that I’m going to get stuck in this ocd cycle forever. I know that’s not true because I’ve been able to make progress before, but the desperation and frustration that comes with a relapse make it so hard to remember that. I started medication and it’s only been about 3 days but I’m really scared that it’s not going to work or that I’m going to have to go through a lot of trial and error. I just really need to hear from people who have worked through their health ocd. I need hope.
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