Rocd sadness

It’s just OCD—it changes only when we deeply care about something. For example, before you met your girlfriend, your obsessions were different. Because you love her and you care about her, the OCD shifts to another theme once it knows she matters to you. That’s why I advise you to start treating yourself. Did you tell your girlfriend about what you’re experiencing? There’s an exercise I do that helps me a lot. I don’t know if it will help you too, but I’ll tell you anyway. First, you need to isolate yourself somewhere alone and make sure no one is around. Then take a paper and pen. Write a title for the topic that is worrying you: intrusive thoughts cognitive distortions stressful things in daily life things about yourself you wish you could change But take only one topic—for example: “Feeling like I don’t love my girlfriend / OCD about not loving her.” Don’t choose more than one or two topics. Then write the title, like: “I feel like I’m not attracted to my girlfriend even though I am.” Now start talking to yourself out loud. Say something like: “I’ve noticed lately that I get tense when I hug my girlfriend…” And keep going—express everything inside you as if you’re your own therapist. Listen to yourself carefully. Then say what you truly want… What you truly feel… Then ask yourself: “What is the actual evidence that I don’t love my girlfriend? Is there any real proof? Is this true? Do I genuinely not love her?” Don’t listen to the mental noise inside your head saying, “Yes, you don’t love her.” Just think out loud, outside your mind. Then you need to start exposure therapy. For example, write down a thought that causes you anxiety, discomfort, or shame. Because OCD feelings are not always anxiety—they change. Do exposure and accept the thought and the feelings behind it. You can start with five minutes. Imagine the thought in your mind like a train passing in front of you. Don’t resist it, don’t push it away, don’t try to calm the feeling. Just five minutes of delayed response. This exercise helped me so much. I got out of a very difficult relapse just by talking to myself out loud. Maybe it sounds silly, but it works. Try it—you won’t lose anything. Even things you don’t like about yourself, you can talk about them. For example: “What I did today was wrong. I should’ve done something else.” Guide yourself, but without perfectionism. Finally, don’t rely only on this exercise. Try it, and if it helps even a little, you can keep talking to yourself at a scheduled time. But you should still see a specialist, and also learn about cognitive distortions. Because OCD isn’t just thoughts— it’s feelings, exaggeration, false beliefs, overestimating the importance of thoughts, overestimating the need to control thoughts, thinking “I have to feel love… how come I don’t feel love? Something is wrong…” This is all OCD. What matters is not what you feel, but what you do. If you need more advice about other things, I can give you that too.

--- Here’s something important to add to what I told you earlier—just to make sure you’re handling this the right way: 1. OCD doesn’t switch themes just because you “love something more.” It shifts because of the pattern of anxiety: your values, your fears, what matters to you. Yes, it targets what you care about, but not only because your love increases. Sometimes the theme changes simply because the anxiety found a new angle. 2. Be careful with questioning yourself too much. Asking “Do I really love her?” or “Where’s the evidence?” can help once as a cognitive exercise… but repeating these questions becomes reassurance and actually feeds the OCD. The goal isn’t to find the “right feeling,” the goal is to stop checking for it. 3. Mindfulness techniques are useful, but they’re not enough on their own. Seeing thoughts as passing trains is great, but OCD usually needs ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) to truly improve. Mindfulness helps you accept the thoughts—not eliminate them. 4. Don’t use self-talk as a daily safety behavior. It’s helpful for grounding, but it shouldn’t turn into “comforting yourself every time a thought shows up.” That becomes a subtle compulsion. 5. Intrusive thoughts are thoughts, not “voices.” Nothing is wrong with you—you’re not hallucinating. Your brain is just throwing thoughts at you that don’t match what you want. That’s classic OCD. -

Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I have very similar intrusive thoughts and feelings and they suck ALOT!

Our feelings aren’t always constant there can be times you feel calm and not that huge excitement feeling of love and you might confuse it with disinterest but if you care for her she deserves to know and to feel reassured as well if the statements that you love her and always want to be with her try to show her as much as possible and that will reassure you too that it’s what you want.. instead of when you feel uninterested try to think of something nice you can do for them in the future to combat the false thought