Hey guys, I recently had to return home from abroad due to a relapse. A bunch of things went wrong (outside of my control) when I was abroad which may have resulted in the relapse. ( I was stressed but still challenged my OCD triggers). I would always encourage people to challenge their fears but I'm angry at myself for challenging mine during a stressy time because I feel like its made me worse as a result. How do you guys cope with ruminating on the past and over past decisions? Ie. I'm angry for going abroad and so on. I just cant let myself off the hook, I also cant seem to move on because I'm caught up in worrying I'm a bad person and I'm also dealing with false memories. As you can see I'm in a bit of a mess over this! Thanks for reading this far ?

guiltyocd

Date posted: 6y

I also struggle with obsessions over past decisions and actions and even accidents I caused, even though the accidents are just: wrong place wrong time things.. I also don’t know which memories are real anymore..

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

I'm sorry you're going through this :( but you're surviving/dealing with this and that is impressive. Sending you a big hug pal. What techniques have you used to cope?

guiltyocd

Date posted: 6y

@Daffodil Thank you, hugs for you to. In terms of coping, I have not found anythings yet. I cannot forgive myself for many things. My OCD started about three months ago, but I’ve had symptoms for a long time. I still have toget diagnosed officially (waiting list), but my psych thinks it is and so do I. It explains the symptoms I had since I was younger, but they were only minor. It was until the breakdown, the OCD got really bad. Ever since then I keep thinking about the pas and many regrets. I have always felt guilty rather fast and felt responsible for bad things that happend around me. What does kind of help is writing things down or saying my thoughts out loud

trnctkta

Date posted: 6y

I'm currently in the midst of this real event OCD. I done something's in my past that I'm really not proud of but I can't change the fact I did. Only thing now we can do is treat it like a regular OCD thought and understand the level of guilt we feel, even if what we done was wrong, isn't an appropriate level.

WorriedDriver

Date posted: 6y

I would say you should not look at your study abroad experience as a huge failure but as a huge learning opportunity. You showed great courage in getting out of your familiar environment and trying something new. This is very hard with OCD. As people with OCD, we have to be ultra careful that our hierarchy of needs is met- safety, housing, food, clothing, then social and emotional needs then lastly career/educational. You uproot your whole life to go study abroad so it is easy to see how the foundation of your stability was disrupted

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

Thank you! I just cant stop being angry at myself x

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

Hey thanks for the advice! I'm so sorry about the breakdown, but its great you're seeing a psych and you're using this app! Things will get better, even if it doesn't feel like it. I'll try what helps you to see if that works for me too. Theres lots of links between hyper responsibility and fear of guilt within OCD, I'm not sure if that helps but sometimes it helps me to know the way I'm feeling is more or less a hallmark of my disorder . It sometimes allows me to get a bit of space. ?

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