- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I also struggle with obsessions over past decisions and actions and even accidents I caused, even though the accidents are just: wrong place wrong time things.. I also don’t know which memories are real anymore..
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm sorry you're going through this :( but you're surviving/dealing with this and that is impressive. Sending you a big hug pal. What techniques have you used to cope?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Daffodil Thank you, hugs for you to. In terms of coping, I have not found anythings yet. I cannot forgive myself for many things. My OCD started about three months ago, but I’ve had symptoms for a long time. I still have toget diagnosed officially (waiting list), but my psych thinks it is and so do I. It explains the symptoms I had since I was younger, but they were only minor. It was until the breakdown, the OCD got really bad. Ever since then I keep thinking about the pas and many regrets. I have always felt guilty rather fast and felt responsible for bad things that happend around me. What does kind of help is writing things down or saying my thoughts out loud
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm currently in the midst of this real event OCD. I done something's in my past that I'm really not proud of but I can't change the fact I did. Only thing now we can do is treat it like a regular OCD thought and understand the level of guilt we feel, even if what we done was wrong, isn't an appropriate level.
- Date posted
- 5y
I would say you should not look at your study abroad experience as a huge failure but as a huge learning opportunity. You showed great courage in getting out of your familiar environment and trying something new. This is very hard with OCD. As people with OCD, we have to be ultra careful that our hierarchy of needs is met- safety, housing, food, clothing, then social and emotional needs then lastly career/educational. You uproot your whole life to go study abroad so it is easy to see how the foundation of your stability was disrupted
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! I just cant stop being angry at myself x
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey thanks for the advice! I'm so sorry about the breakdown, but its great you're seeing a psych and you're using this app! Things will get better, even if it doesn't feel like it. I'll try what helps you to see if that works for me too. Theres lots of links between hyper responsibility and fear of guilt within OCD, I'm not sure if that helps but sometimes it helps me to know the way I'm feeling is more or less a hallmark of my disorder . It sometimes allows me to get a bit of space. ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi everyone, I’m new here, and I wanted to share my experience. I’ve been struggling for over a year now on obsessing over a mistake. And the rumination of the mistake I made has been overwhelming and exhausting in those two years. I feel like such a horrible person. At the time, I didn’t realize what I was doing would affect me so much. When I realized it was wrong, I just said I’ll never do it again, and I moved on. But then months later, I was reminded of what I did, and I felt like I did the worst thing in the world, and that my life will never be normal again. And ever since then, it’s been a constant thought. And it’s exhausting. I have been able to open up to my family and a close friend about it and their reactions were so nonchalant compared to what my brain has been telling me. They say it wasn’t even that bad, and that I shouldn’t be beating myself up. I tell them how badly I feel and they just act like it was nothing. I thought that would help, but my brain continues to tell me how horrible of a person I am and I obsess over this one mistake I made two years ago. I’ve learned from it, I’ve moved on, I’ve opened up about it, I’ve gotten reassurance, but yet it still eats at me. It’s constant some days. Where all I wanna do is lay down in a corner and never leave. I feel like my life will never be normal again and I’ll never experience happiness again. Whenever I smile or feel any type of joy my brain tells me to stop and reminds me that I’m a bad person and I don’t deserve to be happy. Even though everyone tells me what I did wasn’t even that bad. And that it doesn’t make me who I am. But guess it’s not enough and I’m really running out of options.
- Date posted
- 20w
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
- Date posted
- 16w
(Long read) hello everyone. i was out of the country for about 3-4 months and traveling. my ocd was not that bad at all and I was able to handle it even if it came up. on my way back home, it immediately started. i have learned how to handle it better, but i am more sad and just “awaiting” for something bad to happen. for example, i have sexual themed ocd. pocd and family related stuff, and also my ocd targeted my pets for about a year and it manifested into compulsions that disturbed me and made me not want to be around my cats. now that i am around my cats, i feel like “what if i harm them or do something bad?” or “what if you do those weird compulsions that happened before?” , when i look back on the compulsions that happened, it doesn’t feel like me and it was clearly driven by ocd, but it makes me worry i am just a sick person. i know myself and i know im not, but i had such a weird childhood and then ocd from 15 years old and up. so when these weird compulsions had happened , whether it was for the pet ocd theme or pocd or the family ocd, it feels like some sort of proof. anyways, i feel a bit for content with myself but i know how real ocd can feel and i just remember feeling so hopeless and suici da l, i just don’t want to go through that again. i take a more spiritual route of life and healing, and i wonder if anyone has some deep spiritual warmups or practices i could do to maybe open up my mind more? maybe to realize this is all in the mind? but also to not fight it… Not fight it meaning not let it take over my life. i racked up so much debt in therapy and i truly think i can get through this alone i just need a bit of help. but i dunno. any advice would help! thanks everyone ☀️
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