Any Christians dealing with Sexual Orientation OCD

I find I comical how the mind says “this obsession isn’t getting to you so let’s finds something new to obsess over.” I have a question with OCD and I have been dealing with OCD for six years. I’ve been dealing with specifically SOOCD. My mind has been spiraling for the past two or three days about different obsessions. But the one that stuck, the most was the thought of not knowing who I am. Like what if I’m lying to myself about my sexuality because of my faith. Yesterday I was able to calm myself down by saying either way God loves me. God loves all of us, no matter what orientation. But then I start dealing with a more intense obsession. What if I’m lying to myself denying who and what I truly am and I become a non-believer. Like I’m not homophobic it’s just I don’t want to be with the same sex but my mind is like you’re lying and you’re going to stop believing in God. Guys ik this sounds crazy but I just don’t know my my mind is like this. It’s crazy how OCD sees what you value most and targets it I feel like I’m going crazy. Can anyone relate.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

Yes friend, I’ve gone through all of this. Just want you to know you’re not alone and that it will be ok!

Anon234

Date posted: 19h

You’re not crazy. I can totally relate to your story. I’ve been struggling with this theme while being a Christian. It’s genuinely rough because no matter what you tell yourself OCD will try to spin it in a different direction. Try to ground yourself in reality. Understand that who you are, what you like, and who you desire are not defined by your thoughts. Also sexual orientation is based on long term patterns of attraction, if there’s no long term evidence of any sort of attraction towards the same sex then the data doesn’t support the conclusion the OCD is telling you. You also might have to start practicing the thought process of “maybe, maybe not”. Acknowledging the possibility is not the same as claiming it as your truth, it just takes the burden off your shoulders to decide in that moment and spiral. Just remember none of these thoughts mean anything about your faith, your truth, God’s love for you, or your Christianity. They are just thoughts. Once you get past that realization it gets easier. I have faith in your ability to recover. God bless!

bobby.$

Date posted: 11h

@Anon234 Do you have any advice on how to just say maybe, maybe not. I feel like when I do that, I feel so uncomfortable and then I just go back to the thought.

Anon234

Date posted: 11h

@bobby.$ I’m ngl I struggle with that too a lot. I’ve recently got better at it because I forced myself to say it over and over again. The only way to get better at it is to practice. But if that’s too much uncertainty you can always use another phrase like “Yup, sounds like OCD talking, I’m not listening to it” or simply just say “I’m not engaging”. What also helped me was just telling the OCD to shut up. I find that it gives me more strength and confidence to tell it to leave me alone. Medication also might be helpful if the thoughts are too loud and you can’t hear yourself saying the phrase through the noise.

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