jenny
- Date posted
- 5y
Beth823Beth823
- Date posted
- 5y
Not the unfaithful part, but the worrying about the not loving my husband, and the only reason why is because I would have intense dreams about one of my long-time crushes from childhood being interested in me and even though I knew I was with my husband, I wanted my crush so badly I didn’t care. And I got similar dreams like this quite often and it REALLY upset me because I was worried that my subconscious was trying to tell me something, like my husband wasn’t my top pick, which is so not true. In reality, I’m really not interested in anyone else, including my old crush. Well, the more I had this dream (not every night but too often for my comfort) the more distressed I got and I talked to my husband about it, and explained how much it was bothering and upsetting me, and he wasn’t worried about it, and told me that I shouldn’t let it get to me since it’s just a Dream and not reality, so since it he wasn’t bothered by it AT ALL, I stopped worrying about it, because since he clearly didn’t have any concerns or doubts about whether I loved him or wanted to be with him, then I obviously didn’t have anything to worry about. ??♀️ It’s crazy how we often can’t trust our minds (with OCD) to know how we truly feel about something because then OCD tells us otherwise and then it’s sometimes hard to know which one is right. ??♀️
shhshh
- Date posted
- 5y
I obsess about it, always checking and my inner voice like "see you like them" or " you felt this way last time, but you don't this time so you must not love them" over and over. I keep working on just acknowledging that this is the OCD voice and I'm just like "oh hi can you go away please" and try to ignore it. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can't. I also get the anxiety about them being unfaithful, but it seems to be part of the OCD like looking for reasons for them to screw up. For me I think it's a protection thing where I'm afraid of them bailing on me so I am trying to convince myself I don't want them anyway. For you it may be different, but it helps to try to identify why it's coming up (which is not easy!). Hang in there and try to remind yourself of the things you love about them and notice the stuff you do subconsciously that proves you love them and you it to argue away the bad thoughts.
heleñ heleñ
- Date posted
- 5y
I think it is protective too. I get so afraid of being left that I wait for them to do something to justify my leaving because I’m so anxious even if it is something small.
heleñ heleñ
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! All I could think about was how my boyfriend was going to leave me or was interested in someone else/ sleeping with someone else. It got to the point that I couldn’t leave the house with him without constantly looking to see if he was checking someone out or talking to the opposite sex in a flirtatious way. I would compare myself to every girl i saw and assumed that he would rather be with him. The bulk of our time spent together was me asking for reassurance/ accusing him/ and avoiding him and isolated myself from all my female friends. He was loyal, patient and kind and never had any intent to do those things and never gave me any reason to worry. I feel guilty every time I enter into a relationship because I know I will be taken over by Cheating OCD. I have also feared that I will cheat on my partner even though it goes against values and I couldn’t do that to someone I care about.
Related posts
Mazy420
- Date posted
- 24w
Advice on this situation 😭
I’m at a loss about what to do. I’ve been with my partner for about a year. I’ve wanted to be with him for 3 years and now I finally have him, I got out of a really toxic 11 year relationship about 4 years ago so I’ve had plenty of time to heal, things where going so great at first in our relationship and I’m still very much happy with him, I love him more than anything, but the past 5 6 months I’ve been having a constant fear that he’s gonna cheat or watch 🌽behind my back any chance he gets , I know that’s a touchy subject for some, but me personally it just makes me feel that I’m not attractive enough,or feel like I’m not good enough, I’ve never found evidence of cheating, and I’ve found 🌽 in his history once but I told him how I felt and he told me he understood how I felt and wouldn’t do it again,and I know the constant asking everyday and needing for reassurance with it is putting a tear in our relationship, I just want to fix it. Does anyone have any advice on how to redirect my brain whenever I start overthinking about it when I’m not around him? It just puts so much stress on me when I’m not around him cause I’m just constantly in my head about it.
.Anonymous
- Date posted
- 15w
ROCD/False Memory
I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?
cambriar72
- Date posted
- 13w
Is it rocd or just overthinking
I’m not diagnosed with ocd but I feel like I might because I relate to a lot of the relationship posts on here I know I love my boyfriend and I know I can trust him but I get so anxious for no reason I have his location and I can go through his phone without a problem but I get so anxious about being cheated on or him leaving me and it makes me feel like a bad person because I trust him but it feels like something else is telling me like he’s doing something but I have no reason to think that and again I have his location we work at the same place and I’m with him whenever he has off so I don’t get why I do this but it feels like obsession like I stress about upsetting him because I get anxious about upsetting him because it feels like he’s gonna leave me if I do anything to upset him and he’s never done anything to make me feel like this so I don’t get why I overthink like this
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