jenny
- Date posted
- 5y
Beth823Beth823
- Date posted
- 5y
Not the unfaithful part, but the worrying about the not loving my husband, and the only reason why is because I would have intense dreams about one of my long-time crushes from childhood being interested in me and even though I knew I was with my husband, I wanted my crush so badly I didn’t care. And I got similar dreams like this quite often and it REALLY upset me because I was worried that my subconscious was trying to tell me something, like my husband wasn’t my top pick, which is so not true. In reality, I’m really not interested in anyone else, including my old crush. Well, the more I had this dream (not every night but too often for my comfort) the more distressed I got and I talked to my husband about it, and explained how much it was bothering and upsetting me, and he wasn’t worried about it, and told me that I shouldn’t let it get to me since it’s just a Dream and not reality, so since it he wasn’t bothered by it AT ALL, I stopped worrying about it, because since he clearly didn’t have any concerns or doubts about whether I loved him or wanted to be with him, then I obviously didn’t have anything to worry about. ??♀️ It’s crazy how we often can’t trust our minds (with OCD) to know how we truly feel about something because then OCD tells us otherwise and then it’s sometimes hard to know which one is right. ??♀️
shhshh
- Date posted
- 5y
I obsess about it, always checking and my inner voice like "see you like them" or " you felt this way last time, but you don't this time so you must not love them" over and over. I keep working on just acknowledging that this is the OCD voice and I'm just like "oh hi can you go away please" and try to ignore it. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can't. I also get the anxiety about them being unfaithful, but it seems to be part of the OCD like looking for reasons for them to screw up. For me I think it's a protection thing where I'm afraid of them bailing on me so I am trying to convince myself I don't want them anyway. For you it may be different, but it helps to try to identify why it's coming up (which is not easy!). Hang in there and try to remind yourself of the things you love about them and notice the stuff you do subconsciously that proves you love them and you it to argue away the bad thoughts.
heleñ heleñ
- Date posted
- 5y
I think it is protective too. I get so afraid of being left that I wait for them to do something to justify my leaving because I’m so anxious even if it is something small.
heleñ heleñ
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! All I could think about was how my boyfriend was going to leave me or was interested in someone else/ sleeping with someone else. It got to the point that I couldn’t leave the house with him without constantly looking to see if he was checking someone out or talking to the opposite sex in a flirtatious way. I would compare myself to every girl i saw and assumed that he would rather be with him. The bulk of our time spent together was me asking for reassurance/ accusing him/ and avoiding him and isolated myself from all my female friends. He was loyal, patient and kind and never had any intent to do those things and never gave me any reason to worry. I feel guilty every time I enter into a relationship because I know I will be taken over by Cheating OCD. I have also feared that I will cheat on my partner even though it goes against values and I couldn’t do that to someone I care about.
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 25w
i feel so bad about this i cant stop
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 23w
Relationship obsessions
I'm struggling really hard with relationship obsessions. Do I really love my partner? How can I know? Am I really just faking it? That kind of thing. It's making my life and relationship a lot harder than they need to be. I could use a few helpful coping mechanisms, trying to move away from less helpful ones like chasing reassurance.
ashleynicoleeee
- Date posted
- 22w
Does anyone else experience this in their relationship?
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
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