Repost added to it

Today has been the worst spiral I’ve had for weeks. There is this constant memory in my head that I can’t shake because I’m terrified. Basically 2 years ago on Halloween of 2024 an old guy friend messaged me on Snapchat. I remember I was in the shower and went on my phone to check something, I saw his chat and I clicked on it and I do not remember at all what he said. I do remember replying to it and then about 5 ish minutes later I unadded him and another guy because I didn’t want my fiancé (bf at the time) to think I was cheating or anything, I think if I can remember that’s why I removed them because I didn’t want all these guys on my snap from highschool or anything that I used to talk to to be on there, my anxiety was really bad around October, so I think I removed them out of respect for my relationship (me saying I think is even making the spiral worse.) That’s all I remember. But I’ve been spiraling over this thought for almost 2 years because the memory keeps getting fuzzier and fuzzier. Basically I’m terrified because I keep having the occurring thought about “what if I cheated and removed him to hide the evidence.” I’m so scared. After I removed him I remembered I felt good because I felt like a loyal girlfriend, but now I think that’s what happened because I’ve been thinking on it for days to the point where the memory is even more fuzzier. But I’m scared my brain is telling me that “I felt good because I deleted evidence of cheating.” Etc. I think if I can remember I removed those guys out of respect for my fiancé (bf at the time) and I didn’t want/feel the need to have any guy friends or talk to them because I had my man. I’m scared about what if I’m making this up and I actually did something unloyal. What if I felt good afterwards because I hid cheating evidence? I dont know what to believe and my memory of the whole event is so fuzzy.OCD has been the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with. I feel like I can’t trust myself, the reason why this is bothering me so bad is because a long time ago when my fiance and I first started dating, I struggled with explicit content. I would watch it, and (embarrassing part) I’d play this game called character ai and I’d create like explicit/spicy stories on there etc. For awhile, I hid the character ai game from my fiancé (bf at the time) because I think it was out of embarrassment. And later on I told him and told him that i was nervous to tell him because I didn’t know what he’d think about it. Now onto the ocd part, my ocd is telling me that “if you hid that, then you definitely cheated and hid that too, thats why you removed the guy and deleted him and a few other guys too. You definitely sent a nude, you definitely flirted.” And so on and so on. It never stops ever and i dont know how to deal with this anymore. Has anyone else’s ocd ever gotten this bad? Mine also gets terrible at work whenever i interact with male customers. It tells me I flirt, cheat and I also get these bad intrusive thoughts. Worst thing ever.