A litany of complaints about my OCD.

1.... I think the most annoying thing with OCD is when I have to check something, if it doesn't feel right I have to wait 5 minutes and do it again. But then it still won't feel right, and then it's just so annoying because you feel like you have to check it. It's like you're stuck in this really annoying spiral where you have to check it but every time you do it doesn't feel right, but at the same time you have this panic in your head where you need to do it. 2.... So I'm using speech to text, so if there's any issues it's just because of that. I hope it's not a big deal cuz sometimes it can make me say some dumb stuff lmao. But I had spoke with my therapist yesterday, and to put it in very simple terms my OCD unfortunately grabs onto things that obviously mean a lot to me. I know that's really everyone, but I've mentioned before about how I like to collect music and ever since I was a kid I would do that. I liked collecting stuff digitally just because it's a satisfying thing to do, and at this point Spotify and other companies are just horrible anyway LMAO But I become so scrutinizing and not only that but I'd also get very very I guess pure? Whenever I started myself ship I had only done it when I felt like it was the right time, if I had a horrible taboo thought I couldn't do what I needed. Thankfully now it's gone a bit better, but it doesn't change the fact that I still get these uncomfortable intrusive thoughts that will make or break my day. I kid you not there was a time where I had to react properly to my OCD or else I couldn't do what I wanted until tomorrow... It's unfortunate that it had gotten that bad. And I'm still dealing with it, and honestly when I spoke with my therapist about my music thing I honestly just decided to put it on the side. Because I didn't even want to do it anymore because my OCD really messed with it. I had started back in May and had about 600 things in my storage, only to delete all because my OCD was so bad. I had tried again but trying to get back all that stuff, it just felt like a chore and I hated that! Obviously I wanted to feel like I was just having fun as I would. I still don't know how I could ever become normal because it's just gotten so bad, I don't know exactly where to start when it comes to OCD being annoying. Because between you and I I'll do weird compulsions like putting my screen in sleep mode so I don't have to see my wallpaper... Because I feel weird seeing my favorite characters watch me sleep LMAO At the end of the day it really does suck, and it is nice to know that there are other people that have this disorder and also like what I like. And again if I ever do make that server I really want it to be a safe space because it's a horrible disorder. It absolutely is, and I only share it if the mod is okay with it because I did mention it to them and they also do have OCD I believe. I never ever saw a server that had both and it be what that server is about mainly, and I'd love to do that someday. Sorry for the wall of text, but I hope you got what I meant