OCD Conquer post 2 Years later <3

March of 2024 was when I started therapy with NOCD. 4 months later was when I got an OCD conquer achievement but honestly, felt imposter syndrome. I wrote something about my journey with OCD treatment that September but I never posted it. I always wanted to but I never did. So here I am, 2 years later and want to let my words out for others to see because I deserved that achievement and still do. Here it is :) OCD Conquer In July, I got awarded an OCD Conquer badge congratulating me on my progress in therapy and my reduction in my symptoms. When I first got it, it was very hard for me to accept the progress that I have made. I have a difficult time being happy for myself when it comes to accomplishments and I have imposter syndrome a lot. So when I got the news that I got the badge, I kind of pushed it to the side. I knew it was a huge deal, but I doubted myself. I still do. Now, it is September and it has been about two months later. I keep seeing “ write a community post” and “ share your milestones with others” and I want to do that today, even after all this time. My OCD began in 2020, at least when I noticed it, and it was really bad. My first theme was sexual orientation OCD. In 2021, all of a sudden, new themes started making their way into my mind. POCD was a huge target for me and just everything to do with sexual attraction whether it was animals, family, everything. I felt so confused and lost and awful. On new years eve of 2021, that is when I decided that I needed to go to therapy. I was so scared of myself and what I might do to others and I opened up to my mom that it was time. Long story short, I first saw a councilor then a therapist before I started at NOCD and they were good, but the underlying issue was not being figured out, my OCD. A friend of mine told me about NOCD and recommend I try it out and see how I like it and its methods for treating OCD. Here I am, months later, and I am very thankful for NOCD and my therapist. I have learned a lot about OCD and what not to do in-order to avoid doing what OCD wants, but I have also learned a lot about myself and I have noticed so many ways OCD has controlled and impacts so much of my life. It has and still affects my relationship with my family, my friends, my pets,, my values, my beliefs, and sadly most of all, how I see myself. I still have a hard time with self worth and confidence but I am working on it little by little and learning to lean into the uncertainty with things. Whether I believe it or not, I have come such a long way. I am doing things that OCD made me believe made me a bad person ( maybe it does :) ) and I am learning not to be a people pleaser. I have learned that sometimes it feels like my OCD is gone, then it comes pouring down on me reminding me that it is still very much present. I am learning to patient with myself and my progress and being proud of myself my accomplishments instead of just brushing them off ( which is difficult). And something I am so proud of myself for, I am not avoiding the things or people that trigger me. I am putting myself in situations that are uncomfortable and training my brain to realize that avoiding these things does not necessarily make me safe. I am doing things today and thinking things today that me even at the beginning of this year would be so scared of. And trust me, I still have those days. In fact, I had one today. But the fact that I have had thoughts that would make me ruminate for a long time and I am actively continuing to live my life and stopping compulsions is a huge step for me. I am so proud of me and how far I have come and I am so thankful for my therapist here at NOCD and everyone who has helped me every step of the way in my mental health journey. I have had ups and I have had downs, but I am here and continuing, and that is beautiful. To finish off, one piece advice someone with OCD told me that has helped me a lot with days that I feel like OCD is taking over or I feel like I am right back where I started is this: “ Expect and accept” expect hard days. Expect to have days that OCD feels extra difficult, but accept it. Do not be so hard on yourself if you have a day where a theme you thought you got over came back again. Bad days are inevitable, expect it and accept it. We can be too hard on ourselves sometimes ;)