Something very personal

This is very personal and very weird and I think it might be gross to some people. But it’s giving me a lot of anxiety it has been since yesterday and this morning and yesterday. But I need to talk about it and this is the only place I thought of going to because I don’t have anyone else to talk to about it right now. And it sometimes brings me comfort to talk about certain things on here so maybe I can get some help or advice or help. Or some insight or recommendations or insight. This is pretty embarrassing for me to talk about I think. But I need some help. So I’ll just start now. So basically I’ve been trying to use my vibrator since yesterday and it was working the first couple of times and I finally got the feeling I was looking for if you know what I mean. But after the first few times it stopped working for me and I couldn’t feel what I wanted to feel. And that didn’t give me so much anxiety but what did was the fact that I couldn’t remember what it felt like and the sensation and what it felt like. I tried picturing it in my mind but I just couldn’t do it which gave me a lot of anxiety. But what’a giving me anxiety now is that my vibrator is just not working for me right now. I don’t know if trying to remember the feeling and not being able to picture or remember or picture the feeling is giving me anxiety anymore but it still might be both things the vibrator not working and not being able to remember what it feels like when it does work and the vibrator not working. I know it’ll work for me eventually but I just don’t know when and I just keep telling myself that it’ll work again and it’s not like it’s never gonna work again and give me that feeling that I’m looking for. I just keep telling myself that it’ll work again. And I hope it does. Because it’s really bothering me and giving me really bad anxiety and it’s really bothering me. I might just have to lay on the floor on my stomach lol and listen to some of my favorite music with my head down or propped up on my arms or keep my head down. It sometimes helps with the anxiety of it all and everything that’s giving me anxiety and it helps with the anxiety. I just want this anxiety to go away already. And I’m hoping it will gradually subside gradually and go away on its own. But I just don’t know if it will unfortunately. Anyways that’s all I wanted to talk about. For now. I’ll probably be posting more throughout the day because like I said it kind of helps alleviate some of the persistent anxiety of what’s bothering me. Thank you for reading and listening and reading this. Any advice is greatly appreciated or just tips and tricks on how to get this to stop bothering me anymore. I hope you all have a good morning a good evening a good afternoon and a goodnight and a good morning:) I hope I can get through this day I really do. And I’ll try to. I hope I can get through this day I really do.