Can anyone relate?

Not seeking reassurance, but just want to know if anyone out there struggles with similar overlapping themes as me. It would help me feel a lot less alone. My OCD revolves around my children. I’ve had several different themes throughout my life, but nothing compares to this. I have a 3 year old and 4 month old. I’m constantly obsessing over if I am present enough, doing the right thing, feeling the right way about them or our time together. I love them with all of me and I know that’s why my OCD targets our relationship. I’m worried about missing out on precious time with them (existential), doing the wrong things like not playing with them enough or giving them enough attention, or feeling the right way. For example, if I’m having a nice time with my daughter where my OCD is quiet for a moment, my brain starts saying “but are you really enjoying the moment like you should? What if you aren’t really present or what if you aren’t as happy as you should be. You’ll never get this moment back.” And then it turns something nice into something so stressful. I just want to know it can get better. Does anyone else obsess over worrying about feeling the right way? I know this could be similar to relationship OCD where you question your feelings.

Spooderman12

Date posted: Yesterday

I can totally relate! I don’t have kids but I see that come up in my friendships and ocd itself. It’s like the moment I get some peace to myself my thoughts ask “are you sure you have nothing to worry about? Well you’re worrying about this so you must have something to worry about. There’s a problem now and we need to fix it. What’s the problem? We don’t know if we need to worry. Let’s worry about the idea of worrying, that’ll solve it.” So yeah it’s exhausting and the only kind of advice I can really give is focus on the reality and truth of the moment: you love your kids, you love spending time with them. Focus on that truth of yourself, not on what your ocd is saying. I try that tactic with my ocd and it’s helpful, my compulsion however is to ruminate on my thoughts so it’s so hard to actually do that because it feels so counterproductive and then I start wondering if the counterproductive feeling is ok or if I need to worry about that as well. So yeah to sum it up I do relate lol

Trapped

Date posted: 20h

I relate a lot! I’ve always had to deal with OCD but it definitely got worse during pregnancy and after having my babies (similar in age to yours). I notice I’ll be doing ok for a little while and then something will set me back. It’s so hard :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 15h

@Trapped I’m sorry that you can relate. It’s torturous really when all you want is to enjoy life with your kids. What has your journey been like? Do your obsessions focus around how you feel about them and feeling the “right” way? And being present and not wasting time with them? Right now I’m so burnt out from postpartum and working, whenever I want to be alone or have alone time which is so necessary sometimes, my OCD just screams at me lol. And so then when I’m trying to rest, I can’t even really rest.

Trapped

Date posted: 13h

@Anonymous My obsessions are weird and hard to explain. I think I worry too much about making things right for them. I don’t want to have regrets, and sometimes I focus on really particular stuff, especially when it comes to keepsake items. My perfection/just right OCD skyrockets and emotional contamination too. I think it’s an attempt to preserve this time. I just want to look back and be proud of the things I did for them. I want them to feel joy about their childhoods and see how hard I tried.

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