Feeling "Crazier" than usual, a rant about the show Psych and triggers

So I was out all day today, which of course triggered all aspects of my OCD. In many different ways, do my friends hate me, are my reactions alright, all the POCD and Harm stuff going like crazy. Actually being on the subway the way home I was exhausted. And earlier today I was just feeling depressed and to be honest quite a bit "crazy" or like mentally ill. The OCD bully is present and really not nice. But overall I had a good time with my friend, I just wish I didn't have so much shame and guilt. Later tonight I was watching one of my favorite shows PSYCH. I love it so much highly recommend. But I was doing a rewatch with a family member, and I hadn't watched a season one episode since the first time I watched it. And it was about DID, dissociative identity disorder. And it was just a horrible representation of both the mental illness and as well as trans people which was very 2000's of the show. I love this show but this episode isn't where it is at. But is was triggering in the sense I both felt a lot of sadness for all the people with a variety of mental illnesses throughout the years that were made to feel isolation and other things due to poor representation in the media. Something that is a big thing with OCD among other things is just how poorly it is represented in the media especially during that period of time. And I got incredibly scared because I just felt so "mentally ill". Like I'm so exhausted and tired from the meta ocd making me feel like I don't have enough ocd some days. And my other ocd just making me feel like I'm dissociated from my own body other days. Like sometimes I feel so much paranoia. Other times it's just pure fear, or constant triggers. POCD can be bad which feels horrible. Anyway's I think I either wanna write a short story or make a short film about this, as a coping mechanism. Something to focus on, and use it for something. Because to be honest OCD is not really giving me much other than a bullshit bully that seemingly fucking hates my guts and wants me to suffer. Anyways my OCD's name is Beelzebub. He fucking sucks.