We need to remember that God sees the heart underneath everything. He knows your efforts to change and He knows how you are now. He also sees you in your pain and He knows that it came up suddenly and that it's not a reflection of you anymore of what you are.
A brief note as well. You know that God loves us. So I want to invite you to expand on it: He's created the Earth. Birds, plants, animals, the mountains and seas. Further from that, the stars, planets, galaxies. And yet He chooses to focus on us, as His most prized possession of all of His creation? What thought could ever disqualify us of His love?
Psalm 4:3-8: "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, what is man that you are mindful of him, mortals that you care for them? Yet you have made them a little lower than God, crowned with glory and honor. You have given them dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under their feet, all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, whatever passes along the paths of the seas."
I also encourage you to read Matt. 6:25-34. Jesus speaks here about how the birds of the air don't worry about getting their food or how the flowers spin about and are clothed beautifully more than King Solomon, telling us to not worry about tomorrow.
There's something I like coming back to in Genesis 3:11 where Adam and Eve hide from God in shame after having eaten the forbidden fruit and Adam explains what happened; God responds with "Who told you that you were naked?" Likewise we must also come against those thoughts when they arise by asking the same question with a spin. "Who told you that?"
You took a while to get there to that place of mind, but the good news is that it can indeed be reversed and have that voice come to a tiny nuisance you can brush off. Even better news; we don't have petals or wings, but we're worth so much more to a God who made everything. Work with your therapist about this, and remember this also: being crushed by guilt to the point of feeling condemned does not come from God. God convicts the behavior, not the person, because Paul says, in Romans 8: "There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."
Take care, God bless, and I shall pray for you and likewise those who struggle with the same thing. Amenš
