- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I kind of understand what you mean by feelings coming and go. I feel at times that I want to break up with him too, but I actually don't want that and I regret after telling him that. At times I feel like I'm faking the relationship and I have no feelings, but when I'm with him or if I consider the positive aspects of the relationship I realize I love him a lot. ROCD is damn confusing. If you know deep there you love him, don't give up! It's hard and it's exhausting but you have to face your obsessions and resist your compulsions. It's gonna be hard but you got this! That's what I'm telling myself :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks:) It’s harder in a long distance relationship, but i know i do love him and i love talking to him and being with him. But sometimes its very confusing, and i feel very guilty.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen Feeling guilty is part of ROCD... I know how much I cried because I was blaming myself and failing at being a 'normal' girlfriend. No matter how hard it's gonna be, I'm gonna cope with ROCD and find a way to save our relationship. That's only one way and that's going forward. :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kitty99 Yes i know, its very hard and i have cried a lot... But i’m not able to anymore and idk why. (makes it feel more real). I just got very triggerd because it felt like he meant i was using rocd as an excuse. But im gonna keep fighting and not gonna give up :)
- Date posted
- 5y
I think you’re definitely capable of loving your partner. Sometimes we are often quick to label situations as one of our forms of OCD when in reality they are normal feelings. If you truly don’t feel attracted to your partner or do not enjoy the relationship then it may be time to move on. But also just realize that these are thoughts, and also that the most important thing people can do in relationships is to communicate. Let your partner know how you feel, most importantly, and if he doesn’t accept/understand then so be it.
- Date posted
- 5y
That was very triggering, why leave because i don’t feel attracted to him or enjoy it all the time? As you said its just feelings and they come and go, just like attraction and other things in a relationship. I have struggled with rocd for a long time, so im not using it as an excuse. But thanks.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I am going through exactly the same thing ? it started in august last year when I said I wasnt to get married and now I have constant thoughts in my head all the time, like "love love love love" "you don't love him/you do love him" "lies lies lies" "nothing nothing nothing" and they circulate all day every day. I am very tired and confused, why I have these when I know I do love him very much and then I will check to see how I feel when I am with him. I want it to stop ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh im so sorry. You are not alone. The thing that helps is to sit with the feelings and thoughts because they aren’t you. Show yourself some radical compassion and accept uncertainty. Its very hard, but its the only way:)
- Date posted
- 5y
How have you been doing?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdstinks I've had a couple of days with barely any intrusive thoughts which have been brilliant, I've been unwell and also busy working so perhaps it has given me a distraction
- Date posted
- 5y
@JenLD @JenLD I’m married for 17 years with 5 kids and have been dealing with this for almost 13 years. Up and down and up and down and it’s exhausting.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdstinks It's awful isnt it just makes you doubt everything
- Date posted
- 5y
@JenLD Nothing worse in my opinion. I’ve dealt with a Bh ch of themes but this one stuck the most. I’ve had ocd all my life. Are you married?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I just want the thoughts to stop period, it has gotten to the point where I dont know what is real and what is not, my mind just constantly chattering and talking, I dont enjoy anything anymore and cant focus on hobbies because my mind is busy busy busy all the time ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes me too, it takes time and practise. Just be kind to yourself, its okey to feel this feelings. Its not our fault, we are humans.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I am really struggling at the moment x
- Date posted
- 5y
U can contact me on instagram or facebook
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Is it the same username?
- Date posted
- 5y
no elenabjorneraas
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Just about to message you on IG
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 18w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 7w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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