- Username
- elleeen
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I think you’re definitely capable of loving your partner. Sometimes we are often quick to label situations as one of our forms of OCD when in reality they are normal feelings. If you truly don’t feel attracted to your partner or do not enjoy the relationship then it may be time to move on. But also just realize that these are thoughts, and also that the most important thing people can do in relationships is to communicate. Let your partner know how you feel, most importantly, and if he doesn’t accept/understand then so be it.
That was very triggering, why leave because i don’t feel attracted to him or enjoy it all the time? As you said its just feelings and they come and go, just like attraction and other things in a relationship. I have struggled with rocd for a long time, so im not using it as an excuse. But thanks.
I kind of understand what you mean by feelings coming and go. I feel at times that I want to break up with him too, but I actually don't want that and I regret after telling him that. At times I feel like I'm faking the relationship and I have no feelings, but when I'm with him or if I consider the positive aspects of the relationship I realize I love him a lot. ROCD is damn confusing. If you know deep there you love him, don't give up! It's hard and it's exhausting but you have to face your obsessions and resist your compulsions. It's gonna be hard but you got this! That's what I'm telling myself :)
Thanks:) It’s harder in a long distance relationship, but i know i do love him and i love talking to him and being with him. But sometimes its very confusing, and i feel very guilty.
@elleeen Feeling guilty is part of ROCD... I know how much I cried because I was blaming myself and failing at being a 'normal' girlfriend. No matter how hard it's gonna be, I'm gonna cope with ROCD and find a way to save our relationship. That's only one way and that's going forward. :)
@Kitty99 Yes i know, its very hard and i have cried a lot... But i’m not able to anymore and idk why. (makes it feel more real). I just got very triggerd because it felt like he meant i was using rocd as an excuse. But im gonna keep fighting and not gonna give up :)
I am going through exactly the same thing ? it started in august last year when I said I wasnt to get married and now I have constant thoughts in my head all the time, like "love love love love" "you don't love him/you do love him" "lies lies lies" "nothing nothing nothing" and they circulate all day every day. I am very tired and confused, why I have these when I know I do love him very much and then I will check to see how I feel when I am with him. I want it to stop ?
Oh im so sorry. You are not alone. The thing that helps is to sit with the feelings and thoughts because they aren’t you. Show yourself some radical compassion and accept uncertainty. Its very hard, but its the only way:)
How have you been doing?
@Ocdstinks I've had a couple of days with barely any intrusive thoughts which have been brilliant, I've been unwell and also busy working so perhaps it has given me a distraction
@JenLD @JenLD I’m married for 17 years with 5 kids and have been dealing with this for almost 13 years. Up and down and up and down and it’s exhausting.
@Ocdstinks It's awful isnt it just makes you doubt everything
@JenLD Nothing worse in my opinion. I’ve dealt with a Bh ch of themes but this one stuck the most. I’ve had ocd all my life. Are you married?
I just want the thoughts to stop period, it has gotten to the point where I dont know what is real and what is not, my mind just constantly chattering and talking, I dont enjoy anything anymore and cant focus on hobbies because my mind is busy busy busy all the time ?
Yes me too, it takes time and practise. Just be kind to yourself, its okey to feel this feelings. Its not our fault, we are humans.
I am really struggling at the moment x
U can contact me on instagram or facebook
Is it the same username?
no elenabjorneraas
Just about to message you on IG
I hate hearing love is a choice… when I constantly feel nothing for him… it hurts… when I am loving him it’s like I am faking it and leading him on… I avoid sex completely bc of it… I want to love him like before. I want to cuddle and hold him tightly… it’s everyday now… it’s like if I talk to him about this it’s like I am gonna break up with him… I just want to love him peacefully again. I’ve had mild ROCD for years and NEVER did it feel like this… It’s like I gave into and just want to give up but I know I don’t want to. I know if I leave I will wanna be with him again. It’s like my brain has flatlined when it comes to him…
Hey guys I have rocd and I need advise or some words of encouragement When it comes to the feelings of oh I dont love my boyfriend even when I say I do it feels like im lying to myself and it makes me discouraged but I am too numb to fight it Its like my body doesn't want to accept I do Moments when I think oh I want to do something with my boyfriend my brain and feelings shut it down like oh its just going to turn into a routine or nothing he does will make you into him It just makes me depressed and numb because I love my boyfriend a lot, I could not imagine leaving him when I know all I want is him Sometimes my head tells me oh you are too young to have rocd (im 19) or there's always the grass greener on the other Side why settle But I love long term relationships and I want it with him, I chose to date him because it was something about him that was just different and I instantly connected with him We also been together for almost a year (anniversary on August 25) and sometimes my head tells me oh if you guys were together longer its rocd since a lot of people that are on the app I've seen had their relationship for years With anyone dealing with this and go through these episodes in recovery what is it that you do that helps you go forward with your partner and not feeling like giving up
rocd is ruining me and my life and my relationship. i feel so disconnected from my boyfriend bc of it and it’s so frustrating but i also feel so numb that i can’t even feel frustrated or upset or anxious or anything bad when the bad thoughts come bc it’s been so excessive over the past couple of months. i don’t feel anything like i use to and i just wish i could love him peacefully and purely the way i use to with no worry or doubt. i feel like he deserves better bc my mind is constantly telling me i want someone else secretly or makes over analyze anything and everything with him or about him and creates so much doubt in my mind. it feels so real to the point that i feel like i’m betraying him and even though i’m not actually DOING anything to him or behind his back or anything it feels like i would be lying and deceiving him to continue being a good girlfriend and just being good to him if that makes sense. like when i’m actually with him or talking to him it’s mostly good im not thinking badly too much but as soon as he’s gone it all comes and it feels like i’m hiding a different, bad, personality from him when he’s not around. he’s such a good person and i’ve done everything to be so good to him bc i want to and he deserves it all. but inside i feel like don’t know myself at all anymore. i want to get past it but i feel like even if i do i’ll feel like i’m hiding a past betrayal from him. i don’t want to lose him. can anyone help with any of this or share ways they’ve gotten past this.
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