- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I kind of understand what you mean by feelings coming and go. I feel at times that I want to break up with him too, but I actually don't want that and I regret after telling him that. At times I feel like I'm faking the relationship and I have no feelings, but when I'm with him or if I consider the positive aspects of the relationship I realize I love him a lot. ROCD is damn confusing. If you know deep there you love him, don't give up! It's hard and it's exhausting but you have to face your obsessions and resist your compulsions. It's gonna be hard but you got this! That's what I'm telling myself :)
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks:) It’s harder in a long distance relationship, but i know i do love him and i love talking to him and being with him. But sometimes its very confusing, and i feel very guilty.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen Feeling guilty is part of ROCD... I know how much I cried because I was blaming myself and failing at being a 'normal' girlfriend. No matter how hard it's gonna be, I'm gonna cope with ROCD and find a way to save our relationship. That's only one way and that's going forward. :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kitty99 Yes i know, its very hard and i have cried a lot... But i’m not able to anymore and idk why. (makes it feel more real). I just got very triggerd because it felt like he meant i was using rocd as an excuse. But im gonna keep fighting and not gonna give up :)
- Date posted
- 5y
I think you’re definitely capable of loving your partner. Sometimes we are often quick to label situations as one of our forms of OCD when in reality they are normal feelings. If you truly don’t feel attracted to your partner or do not enjoy the relationship then it may be time to move on. But also just realize that these are thoughts, and also that the most important thing people can do in relationships is to communicate. Let your partner know how you feel, most importantly, and if he doesn’t accept/understand then so be it.
- Date posted
- 5y
That was very triggering, why leave because i don’t feel attracted to him or enjoy it all the time? As you said its just feelings and they come and go, just like attraction and other things in a relationship. I have struggled with rocd for a long time, so im not using it as an excuse. But thanks.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I am going through exactly the same thing ? it started in august last year when I said I wasnt to get married and now I have constant thoughts in my head all the time, like "love love love love" "you don't love him/you do love him" "lies lies lies" "nothing nothing nothing" and they circulate all day every day. I am very tired and confused, why I have these when I know I do love him very much and then I will check to see how I feel when I am with him. I want it to stop ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh im so sorry. You are not alone. The thing that helps is to sit with the feelings and thoughts because they aren’t you. Show yourself some radical compassion and accept uncertainty. Its very hard, but its the only way:)
- Date posted
- 5y
How have you been doing?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdstinks I've had a couple of days with barely any intrusive thoughts which have been brilliant, I've been unwell and also busy working so perhaps it has given me a distraction
- Date posted
- 5y
@JenLD @JenLD I’m married for 17 years with 5 kids and have been dealing with this for almost 13 years. Up and down and up and down and it’s exhausting.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdstinks It's awful isnt it just makes you doubt everything
- Date posted
- 5y
@JenLD Nothing worse in my opinion. I’ve dealt with a Bh ch of themes but this one stuck the most. I’ve had ocd all my life. Are you married?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I just want the thoughts to stop period, it has gotten to the point where I dont know what is real and what is not, my mind just constantly chattering and talking, I dont enjoy anything anymore and cant focus on hobbies because my mind is busy busy busy all the time ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes me too, it takes time and practise. Just be kind to yourself, its okey to feel this feelings. Its not our fault, we are humans.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I am really struggling at the moment x
- Date posted
- 5y
U can contact me on instagram or facebook
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Is it the same username?
- Date posted
- 5y
no elenabjorneraas
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
Just about to message you on IG
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 15w
i have what i think is rocd, at least many people here told me i do. im going through the worst period ever, my thoughts feel real, i feel like i dont have any feelings for my boyfriend, that i am in denial , that i am a liar, i cant remember how it feels like to love him, my memories with him are distorted. I feel like i never loved him and i was just coping , acting like i do because i could not accept the reality. I see many people saying that once they are with their partner they feel better but it dosent help, when i am with him i still have thoughts and horible feelings. i dont know what to do anymore. I have this problem for over a year and a half, and rn it feels the worst ever. Everything feels urgent and terrifyingly real. I keep thinking that maybe when the thoughts first started, I actually realized I didn’t love him — but I kept saying “no, it can’t be, I love him,” just to deny the truth. And now I feel like I’m only holding on to a false idea I created in my head. I don’t feel love, just pressure, panic, and confusion. I told ChatGPT that I feel numb next to him, I can’t imagine a future with him, nothing feels like it used to, and I’m scared I was only ever excited about the idea of love — not him. Please, I just want this pain to stop.
- Date posted
- 13w
I feel like I’ve reached such a painful place where everything seems real. I feel like I don’t love him anymore, like I’ve been lying to myself and to him this whole time — and now I’m realizing a terrible truth that I couldn’t accept until now. The thoughts come in like statements, like facts: “You don’t love him,” “It was just habit,” “You’re pretending.” They don’t feel like just thoughts — they feel like reality. And the hardest part is that I don’t feel anything anymore. Just a deep emptiness, numbness, and detachment. I don’t know what love feels like anymore, and because I don’t feel, I start to believe there’s nothing left to feel — maybe there never was. My mom told me that I’m lying to myself, that I’m hurting him and myself, and if I really don’t feel anything, I should end the relationship. She’s overwhelmed, and I know she’s saying these things out of worry for me — but it still hurts. My boyfriend shows me so much love. He really does. He tells me, he shows me, he supports me. And yet… I feel like I can’t respond, like I’m empty inside. That makes me feel like a terrible person. I feel fake, like I’m performing in a life that doesn’t feel real anymore. I’ve read so much about ROCD. I’ve been told over and over again that I need to sit with the thoughts, that I need to accept uncertainty. I know what ERP is, I know the tools. But even with all this knowledge, I feel stuck. It feels like nothing is helping. Like I’m frozen in place, and my only truth is this awful, real-seeming feeling that I don’t love him. I keep thinking: maybe I just liked the idea of love. Maybe I only stayed because he’s a good person. Maybe the love I thought I felt was just me coping and hoping. And now it feels like that hope is gone. I feel so disconnected from everything. I can’t even remember how it felt to love him. I look at our memories and they feel distant, blurry, meaningless. I’m scared. I’m tired. I just want to feel okay again. Please, if anyone has been through something like this — if you understand this storm — I’d love to hear how you kept going. I feel like I’m barely holding on.
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