- Username
- Naeun
- Date posted
- 6y ago
This is classic OCD. I struggle from so many intrusive thoughts and those intrusive thoughts tell me I want to do them. But you are giving into a compulsion by taking these quizzes and looking online. Take no more quizzes, limit yourself. I know this sounds so uncomfortable and will suck but it will makes things better. I promise.
I’m 99% sure you do not have BPD. Ocd makes you terrified of everything including being terrified you don’t just have OCD
I used to do that! Okay. People with BPD do not take quizzes online to see if they have it ... I used to google for houuurrrsssss on end - this is a classic symptom of OCD. Have you started to see a therapist yet? Getting it out and having someone understand and help you deal with thoughts on a regular basis is so helpful and important! You get mad easily and react because your body is in fight or flight mode (from the anxiety and OCD) I agree to stop taking quizzes. Do something else to busy yourself, read, go for walk, call a friend, get creative with art supplies, play a game, bake... those have been things that helped ground me when I was having a really hard time.
I’m so sorry Naeun I misunderstood your post! :( I had thought you meant bipolar. I didn’t want to reassure you but I wanted you to know that even if you did that it’s okay. But also notice... you are compulsively taking tests ?! Ocd likes to you to think it’s you working and not it... I think the more you see it as it works the less scared you will be about the other possibilities. If it makes you feel better, I do the same thing... I don’t want another thing wrong with me either.... But truth be told there is nothing really “wrong” with us. We are just wired a little differently than most, and maybe there are good qualities in that too ?.
BPD is common comorbid with OCD, they have some overlapping symptoms. My doctor has been talking to me about that possibility as well. There is a spectrum to BPD. Initially I was pretty distraught because I didn’t want one more “thing wrong with me”. The verdict is still out. But whether you do or don’t that doesn’t mean anything about you personally... it’s all about you getting better regardless of what the tests say. Detach from that idea, so what if I have that... who cares... (Still share your concerns with your therapist) but know that you don’t have to attach to the upsetting thoughts.
I read bpd symptoms and I sound like some of them so now I'm scared too! ?
^bipolar disorder
@Dee that’s my fear I don’t want anything else wrong with me because I have severe harm ocd and *trigger some serial killers had borderline personality disorder so you can see where my fear is coming from... and gosh I don’t wanna worry about having bipolar now also ... it’s diff for other people.. I know you can be strong about t but no matter how hard I try I can’t.
I’m sure I might have BPD as well as OCD, but don’t wanna have it diagnosed cuz of the assumptions. I dont want to be misinterpreted as manipulative, aggressive or abusive because of the stereotypes (my partner has always said I’m the most calm and often TOO understanding person he ever met) But I do get the “inward anger” towards myself. Like, thinking I am utterly worthless and if I died no one would care. I often think something bad needs to happen to me for people to wake up and care. No one knows it though as I hide it from fear of people thinking I’m crazy and leaving me. I feel I have to frantically scramble to not be left. I fear abandonment to the point where I think I’d prefer to die over that happening. I have zero self esteem and feel I have no personality anymore. I think in black and white. People are cunts or they’re not lol ? I’m great or I’m worthless (100% worthless most of the time) I adore my partner more than my own life. to the point if he left me, I think I’d have to die to avoid seeing him with someone better than me (I wouldn’t do it though but it seems to be my only “solution”) imagining him leaving me all day everyday is agony I feel like I’m being sliced open every second and I feel sick. I don’t want the label though cuz people are saying Caroline flack might have had BPD, and I think she’s vile for what she did, suicide or not. I don’t agree with abuse - male or female. so I don’t wanna be associated with an abuser. Everyone is saying she’s evil if she had bpd so I really DONT want that association just because I hate myself and don’t want to be abandoned. Anyone know anything about DBT? I bought a DBT work book but I’m not telling anyone in my life as again, I don’t want the negative connotations. I’m a gentle person to everyone except myself so if I got tagged as a bitch I’d be mortified when all I want is love and acceptance and I feel I lack it
Kinda really anxious because I am afraid I might have borderline personality disorder, except I constantly am afraid that I might have mental disorders that I’m not diagnosed with. Wondering if other people with OCD deal with themes of obsession over mental disorders. Or if this is borderline personality disorder, and instead I am creating different personalities based on different disorders I keep thinking I have. I have been diagnosed with OCD but in my comments it was mentioned that I showed some symptoms of OCPD and BPD but not enough to diagnose
It started a month ago on vacation. I started getting intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones in their sleep and it scared me so bad. I thought it would stop but it only got worse. Here I am a month later and things have changed drastically. My thoughts have now shifted to becoming some serial killer. I am so worried it’s all I think about. I can’t stop thinking about the things I did as a kid and how it could validate all my thoughts. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything at all. I am so scared of the thought of the notorious serial killers that I’ve heard about in the past and I can’t stop comparing myself to these horrible people. I’m scared because I used to be mean to animals as a kid and people say this is the first thing to look for in serial killers. I remember still having a lot of empathy for them when I was young too. I look back and cant at all understand why I was like that. It makes me wanna breakdown and punch myself. All of that stopped a really long time ago and every since I have done nothing but helped and empathized with animals. I am every surrounded by them and consider them to be more family than pets. I get extremely upset over anything or anyone who is suffering. I just can’t get that memory of me doing that stuff out of my head and I’m afraid it means it validates my thoughts I’ve been having even though this is not what i want to happen. I’ve been completely avoidant of alcohol and refused to take a medication I was prescribed because irritability was a side effect and I’m afraid of snapping and hurting someone. I just can’t stop thinking about my past and how it could correlate to now. Even though I have grown up to have morals and respect for everything I have a fear that it’s all been a lie. I get so much anxiety from thinking about this stuff. I haven’t eaten in almost 3 days because my stomach is in a constant knot and when I do eat I feel too guilty to do so because I’m not paying attention to these thoughts and sometimes it makes me question whether I secretly want to do bad stuff which I don’t and that scared me so bad. I made an emergency appointment right after I started having these thoughts and they diagnosed me as having schizotypal personality disorder. They said I have been having ocd “tendencies “ because I have the thoughts and constantly googling everything which I guess would be a compulsion. I have been looking on forums for people with past actions similar to mine to see other peoples reactions. I’m not sure what this is anymore. Idk if this is ocd or I’m just using it as an excuse. All I know is that I’m extremely scared. I vowed if this stuff as everything something I would even think about doing I would take myself out before I ever hurt anyone else. It’s scary but it’s what I always tell myself when I doubt any of this.
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