- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I think it’s spot on for a lot of us!! At least I know it is for me!!
- Date posted
- 6y
My therapist always tells me I have “all or nothing” thinking. It’s either perfect or a disaster, no in between
- Date posted
- 6y
Totally! I never thought of myself as a perfectionist but looking back after my therapist pointed it out, holy cow. Always caring so much about doing well and receiving praise and affirmation and everyone liking me. Which I think is related to my “reassurance seeking” compulsions. I need constant reassurance that I’m smart, likable, successful, and I get that reassurance from getting good grades (back in the day), or doing well at work, pleasing my parents, and people liking me- basically being a perfectionist. And it’s not about trying to be perfect all the time, because I don’t try to be perfect all the time. But there’s a definite sense of self loathing or disappointment in myself when I’m not. I’m getting better at it though.
- Date posted
- 6y
How do we work thru perfectionism? What does ERP look like for this?
- Date posted
- 6y
@roxacres Wow, I do that all the time. My boyfriend always says “you don’t have to be liked by everyone”, “you can say no”, “it’s okay to mess up” and stuff like that. When we get into a fight, even a little argument, I feel I need to fix it right away because he’s going to stop loving me or something. I always seek approval through others like teachers, parents, friends, my boyfriend, and God. I had no idea this was perfectionism.
- Date posted
- 6y
Perfectionism is definitely a part of OCD for some people. There’s a concept of “maladaptive perfectionism” which means that you are too perfectionist.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 17w
Hello! It has been well documented that OCD can manifest itself in the form of religious rituals. There is a fine line between genuine piety and OCD. For those of you who have struggled or are still struggling with this, have you sought the guidance of a religious figure in addition to a therapist? Meaning, that you attend therapy with a therapist who works with you on ERP exercises, but also have a rabbi, priest, or imam who you use for guidance in determining what is actual piety versus behavior that is OCD?
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