- Username
- Danny Pereira-Jardim
- Date posted
- 4y ago
There's some all or nothing thinking going on here. The options aren't either devote yourself 100 percent or don't try at all. You have all sorts of options in between. You can pick just one compulsion to eliminate. You can plan erp practice for a certain amount of time. You can keep a tally of times you want to ritualize and do vs times you want to and don't. 50% is much better than 0
We all want our OCD whatever the theme may be to go away as quickly as possible, but the hard truth is that it never really does. It will get easier to cope with as u get better at applying ERP and ACT therapeutic techniques but it is something that you will always have. OCD is a chronic condition. It will come and go. I’ve had OCD since I was 13. I’m currently 28. It has ebbed and flowed but it’s always there. I think accepting that u will always have it is very important. There is always hope though ❤️ it can get much better. I’m currently going through a bad patch right now as I believe a lot of us are.
Yeah it does sound like you tend to give up on the process once you do a compulsion, like the day is ruined. Nobody can get it right all the time, and that's a very high bar to set yourself to expect to have a flawless day of constant ERP success. Even people whose OCD is really under control don't usually have perfect days, so it's a big ask to go from constant all-day compulsions one day right to constant ERP the next. As Katie said, there's no reason you need to be "fully devoted" at all. Nobody can give you advice on how to have a perfect day. Hardly any of us ever even have a day like that. It's understandable that you want it to go away ASAP but trying and failing and then giving up because you made a mistake means you truly won't get anywhere. Baby steps, my bud. Perfectionism like this can also make you end up with a whole new OCD theme about doing ERP perfectly, correctly and constantly- and that is a hole you really do not want to go down. Try to do ERP tomorrow one time for 5 minutes and see what happens. A hack which works great for me is to tell myself that I WILL worry and solve the problem but not right now- I'll do it later, I swear, but right now is ERP treatment time and that means sitting with the problem without trying to solve it. ERP isn't about ignoring the thoughts/pushing them away/distracting yourself from them. It's about getting the thought "this piece of evidence might mean you're gay" and not responding to it with mental compulsions OR distracting yourself. It's possible you may be having such a difficult time doing ERP because you are trying to do it by avoiding them. Avoiding is a compulsion. Let the worry be there. Just don't do anything about it. Don't ruminate about consequences. Don't distract yourself with something else. Don't debate, argue with or agree with the thought. Don't answer it. Just breathe and let it be an open question. One which you're not going to solve right this minute. You can survive the experience of being anxious but not looking for answers. Start with 5 minutes, not with a day.
Accept your ocd thoughts. This is difficult for me too, but the less powerful they become, the more freedom you will have. Wish you the best ❤️
@NOCDadvocate-Katie that’s so true. Sometimes it’s hard for us to see the grey areas between our black or white thoughts. Even a little progress IS progress ❤️
Help guys I started ERP and have been letting some intrusive thoughts through and just trying to accept them but now I can’t get them to go away because I’m done thinking about it for today. I just want them to stop.
So last night I tried some ERP and tried as hard as I could not to give into the compulsions of my thought, I didnt do well, but I was able to do it for at least a little bit until I fell asleep. Guess what was on my mind as soon as I woke up?! That same obsessive thought. I obviously dont expect things to change overnight, but I feel like I'm never going to catch a break. As much as I try not to give my OCD attention, it always prevails. Has anyone experienced this? Like any "unfinished" thought or obsession always creeps back in? They just seem to always resurface whether I have tried for ten minutes or a day to not give into them. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts. Thank you!
So I’m starting therapy this week but I’ve been trying to use ERP myself, my main compulsion is rumination which I wasn’t even aware was a compulsion. I’m trying to do ERP but when I focus on observing the thought it goes, I dunno if I’m focusing too much on actually how to follow ERP or is this normal? I feel like I might be subconsciously blocking thoughts because I know how bad it is when I go down the rabbit hole, but then I also worry that the anxiety goes too quickly and that I’m finding it too easy to ignore the thought?
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