Does anyone else with real event ocd find it pops up every few months and gets worse, then better? Like for me I'd try to repress it so I wouldn't feel anything about the subject, then months later BAM I feel such intense guilt and disgust with myself that I'm back to square one. I just wish I knew how to move on from this feeling and experience, but how can I, when I feel like a monster over something I'd done 8 years ago? Will I ever move on?

I know the feeling I’ve been stuck feeling guilty about something that happened over 5 years ago. Right now I’m focusing on my plan of not engaging in reassurance and googling my worries. It’s really hard when the anxiety hits but hoping to work through it

I know exactly how you feel. Not only do I feel terrible guilt I know if I don't continue checking, which is my main compulsion, something even more horrible would happen and I'd not be able to live with myself. All because of my ptsd and anxiety and ocd. But if I live like that for the rest of my life I would be punishing myself. We're all humans and this is what I tell others and I should and have been trying to take this advice; it's easier to forgive others than yourself but you deserve to be loved by you and the first step is learning to forgive yourself. What would you tell your friend if he/she was feeling how you are feeling? You learn from your past and not let it happen. From what you wrote you're only reliving that feeling. Maybe you can write a letter to yourself for forgiveness. Remember forgiving is not condoning what has happened but rather taking it in and learning from it. If someone hurt you, you're not forgiving them but doing it for yourself. I doubt you did anything that's a crime. Maybe if you try to feel that pain in a safe place with a therapist?

Everyone makes mistakes. Don't be hard on yourself. Yes easier said than done because I'm saying from experience but it's a useless feeling. You know how I try to right the wrong for me that makes me happy? Donating to animal rescue groups and being an advocate for the animals. Maybe you can help others? Tale it easy, loving yourself is hard thing to do. I struggle with it but you deserve to be kind towards yourself. ❤

Hi, I think your best bet is acceptance. It’s an incredibly hard thing to do, but if you just try and accept that what happened in the past can’t be changed, and you acknowledge that you made a mistake but realize that mistakes don’t make you a bad person, then you can try to move on from it. I hope that helps.