- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I know the feeling I’ve been stuck feeling guilty about something that happened over 5 years ago. Right now I’m focusing on my plan of not engaging in reassurance and googling my worries. It’s really hard when the anxiety hits but hoping to work through it
- Date posted
- 5y
I've been trying to do that as well but it hasn't been going too good, it's terrible to work through
- Date posted
- 5y
@worryqueen Yeah it’s really hard
- Date posted
- 5y
I know exactly how you feel. Not only do I feel terrible guilt I know if I don't continue checking, which is my main compulsion, something even more horrible would happen and I'd not be able to live with myself. All because of my ptsd and anxiety and ocd. But if I live like that for the rest of my life I would be punishing myself. We're all humans and this is what I tell others and I should and have been trying to take this advice; it's easier to forgive others than yourself but you deserve to be loved by you and the first step is learning to forgive yourself. What would you tell your friend if he/she was feeling how you are feeling? You learn from your past and not let it happen. From what you wrote you're only reliving that feeling. Maybe you can write a letter to yourself for forgiveness. Remember forgiving is not condoning what has happened but rather taking it in and learning from it. If someone hurt you, you're not forgiving them but doing it for yourself. I doubt you did anything that's a crime. Maybe if you try to feel that pain in a safe place with a therapist?
- Date posted
- 5y
Everyone makes mistakes. Don't be hard on yourself. Yes easier said than done because I'm saying from experience but it's a useless feeling. You know how I try to right the wrong for me that makes me happy? Donating to animal rescue groups and being an advocate for the animals. Maybe you can help others? Tale it easy, loving yourself is hard thing to do. I struggle with it but you deserve to be kind towards yourself. ❤
- Date posted
- 5y
Thann you, it's incredibly hard to forgive myself for what I did and I feel like some sort of abuser because of it. Like I'm a criminal who got away with a crime. But I'll take your suggestions and try to work on it more.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, I think your best bet is acceptance. It’s an incredibly hard thing to do, but if you just try and accept that what happened in the past can’t be changed, and you acknowledge that you made a mistake but realize that mistakes don’t make you a bad person, then you can try to move on from it. I hope that helps.
- Date posted
- 5y
I will try to accept myself but it feels like I need to do more, tell more people so I can get the reassurance that I'm not some sort of criminal. That's what it feels like. Thank you, though.
- Date posted
- 5y
@worryqueen I know exactly how you feel I felt like some sort of criminal too. I asked friends all the time if I did anything wrong and they continued to reassure me that I didn’t. But I always needed more reassurance but this is my main compulsion and I stopped asking and I encourage you to try and do the same
- Date posted
- 5y
@Tmbc2740 Thank you, I will try. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 11w
17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.
- Date posted
- 5w
Im still searching about pure o ocd while I still look for a specialized therapist so that's why I'm asking the following thing lol Is normal to have months and/or years without an ocd episode? I noticed I had a considerable amount of episodes in all my living years but sometimes they took a year or a bit more than a year to appear, in worse scenarios I noticed the took just months to appear once again Is that normal? Im kinda feeling guilty about it because I notice some people live 24/7 with ocd since they are kids while my thing is more like, episodically, not 24/7 since I was born? My last episode started in August of last year and is still haunting me but I know people had it worsened since their earlier years of life
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