- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah i was just talking about this with a peer consultant and it's perfectly normal for us to mourn the loss of what could have been. I'm so sad, angry, and resentful at times for all that OCD stole from me. A normal teenage experience. A normal development into sexual maturity. Milestones of a regular person. jealousy over those who did not have to face these issues. Anger towards those who unknowingly triggered me. It's sad to feel this way, but it's normal and OKAY! Eventually we will come out the other side stronger because of it all. Like they say, "no use crying over spilled milk."
- Date posted
- 5y
This makes sense. I do struggle with that last phrase. I have found with my Ocd and depression Its hard for me to get over things going wrong or not how I wanted. Its hard not to feel like a brat because that’s how I feel it looks to other people. Its almost as if im so confused and disengahed from a situation once it starts to go south. Do you have any suggestions of how to deal with this depressed feeling when simple things go wrong?
- Date posted
- 5y
@spf420 I struggle a lot with it as well. I dwell in the past and i think "i wish i wasn't there at that time and maybe i never would have had ocd" but, the truth is, we can't change the past. But we have absolute control over the future. I don't know exactly how it is i get over things, it's a mix of everything. I start to feel better about myself, i talk to my mom (i get great support from her) and i talk to my therapist. I try to distract myself with things that make me happy. But, when i'm depressed, even that can't do it. Honestly it's about gradually building up your strength to fight it back with positive thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes it can be a tough pill to swallow and I am confident that most people who suffer from OCD have thought about this in the same way you have (myself included). And even though I think it is harsh, the reality is that we are stuck with the brains that we do have - we can’t change these facts. So the options we have are to spend time wishing things were different, or accept the facts about our OCD reality. I tell myself that even if my life would be objectively better without OCD (it might, it might now), I can’t change that part about me. So I have to choose to make the best life I can with OCD, even if it is not as good as a life I think I could have without it. The same would be said for a parent who recently lost a child, someone who is blind, etc. these people also probably think something along the lines of “if only “x” hadn’t happened, things would be okay.” All of us in these scenarios have a decision to make, will we spend any amount of time wondering how much better things could be, or will we accept reality for what it is and make the best of things as they are? Btw I am not saying you are wrong for thinking this (we all have at times and I do empathize with you), just don’t get too caught up in it, because it is a fantasy. Wishing you the best!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! It does help to know I’m not the only one who has thought this
- Date posted
- 5y
We can also not be satisfied with a life with OCD. I understand that it’s always going to be a reality for me, but my hope is for it to be as minimized as I can.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
- Date posted
- 20w
So after my ocd has become more prominent, it gets harder to fight through these compulsion’s everyday. I don’t go to therapy or take any medications and to be honest I am very lost in my journey on how to navigate life with ocd. I don’t want it to take over my life. I want to be able to feel like I can live without a weight on my chest and to finally feel like I can breathe. Any suggestions or words of advice is more than welcome.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond