Does anyone else feel that they could be really great and really happy if they would just get out of their own way? I’ve had anxiety issues all my life, and am only now learning how my anxiety stems from my ocd. I can see that its been the basis of a lot of choices I made, and I fear it always will. I now feel like I am unhappy with life because I do not let myself be the person I am due to fear. I think naturally I am a free spirit, I love nature, adventures, and learning new things. In my heart I’d love to explore the world and make a difference, but I’m scared my OCD won’t allow me to do this. Its hard when all you want is to be free and you feel so confined by your own mind.

whatifwhatif

Date posted: 5y

Yeah i was just talking about this with a peer consultant and it's perfectly normal for us to mourn the loss of what could have been. I'm so sad, angry, and resentful at times for all that OCD stole from me. A normal teenage experience. A normal development into sexual maturity. Milestones of a regular person. jealousy over those who did not have to face these issues. Anger towards those who unknowingly triggered me. It's sad to feel this way, but it's normal and OKAY! Eventually we will come out the other side stronger because of it all. Like they say, "no use crying over spilled milk."

spf420

Date posted: 5y

This makes sense. I do struggle with that last phrase. I have found with my Ocd and depression Its hard for me to get over things going wrong or not how I wanted. Its hard not to feel like a brat because that’s how I feel it looks to other people. Its almost as if im so confused and disengahed from a situation once it starts to go south. Do you have any suggestions of how to deal with this depressed feeling when simple things go wrong?

whatifwhatif

Date posted: 5y

@spf420 I struggle a lot with it as well. I dwell in the past and i think "i wish i wasn't there at that time and maybe i never would have had ocd" but, the truth is, we can't change the past. But we have absolute control over the future. I don't know exactly how it is i get over things, it's a mix of everything. I start to feel better about myself, i talk to my mom (i get great support from her) and i talk to my therapist. I try to distract myself with things that make me happy. But, when i'm depressed, even that can't do it. Honestly it's about gradually building up your strength to fight it back with positive thoughts.

buddhaboy

Date posted: 5y

Yes it can be a tough pill to swallow and I am confident that most people who suffer from OCD have thought about this in the same way you have (myself included). And even though I think it is harsh, the reality is that we are stuck with the brains that we do have - we can’t change these facts. So the options we have are to spend time wishing things were different, or accept the facts about our OCD reality. I tell myself that even if my life would be objectively better without OCD (it might, it might now), I can’t change that part about me. So I have to choose to make the best life I can with OCD, even if it is not as good as a life I think I could have without it. The same would be said for a parent who recently lost a child, someone who is blind, etc. these people also probably think something along the lines of “if only “x” hadn’t happened, things would be okay.” All of us in these scenarios have a decision to make, will we spend any amount of time wondering how much better things could be, or will we accept reality for what it is and make the best of things as they are? Btw I am not saying you are wrong for thinking this (we all have at times and I do empathize with you), just don’t get too caught up in it, because it is a fantasy. Wishing you the best!

spf420

Date posted: 5y

Thank you! It does help to know I’m not the only one who has thought this

ktj

Date posted: 5y

We can also not be satisfied with a life with OCD. I understand that it’s always going to be a reality for me, but my hope is for it to be as minimized as I can.

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