- Username
- takingmylifeback
- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Username
- Soph Soph
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I think sometimes what keeps us in our ‘locked’ state is wanting and searching so badly to get out of that state? I’ve read a lot about the benefits of acceptance not only of your thoughts and doubts, but of your current state itself, and by just saying to yourself ‘ok, imma be unsure about my sexuality, but I can still choose to love my boyfriend and know that that’s enough to be able to stay with him! Maybe in the future I’ll not worry about my sexuality, but for now, this is my lot.’ I’m still struggling with HOCD myself and that core fear of sexuality changing (hopefully working on it), but I found that when I said to myself ‘I’m just gonna accept that for know I can’t truly be sure, oh well I’m just gonna get on’ and I found myself still living as a straight woman and daydreaming about guys and getting less and less intrusive thoughts about women.
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am 100% going to try this!! Thank you so much for your input
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
With practice and proper training, you will be able to be in a place where this thought doesn't even come up, or comes up and passes much quicker. When you engage in compulsions you feed your thoughts and they last much much longer! I would recommend stopping that phrase (unless your couselor has recommended it) and starving the thought instead. Meaning, don't talk back to it. Acknowledge the intense whirlwind of brain chatter in your mind and the crazy sensations it's causing in your body and then set a timer for 5 minutes and just let it be. Everytime you try to tell yourself something, "maybe, I am, maybe I'm not, omg, what if I am? I don't want this, ect." Tell yourself "No" outloud to break the compulsion and recenter. Try this for 5 minutes and see if your anxiety slowly goes down.
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m definitely going to try this!! I guess in those 5 minutes you’re trying to repeat that same thought to yourself or just try to breathe and stuff?
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Also thank you so much this was really helpful
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@takingmylifeback Well I'm guessing with the severity of your thoughts they are pretty common throughout the day? I don't think you have to repeat anything, the repeating is just to get you triggered which you already are. So your job is to notice when you're going down that rabbit role, go sit yourself down, set a timer for 5 minutes and resist the urge to talk to yourself or analyze anything. Just sit there. Just feel. And breathe. And sit.
- Username
- Where’sMySerotonin?Where’sMySer...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I relate ? I just want actual answers too instead of forcing myself to be okay with uncertainty. Because in reality, IM NOT OKAY WITH UNCERTAINTY. Sometimes we can’t possibly know answers and we just gotta do our best. We’re strong and gotta learn to trust ourselves!
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
THAT IS WHAT IM SAYING like I’m not okay with it and stuff but you stay strong too
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I understand how you feel. I personally don't like the stance of "accept uncertainty" because it doesn't make any sense to me. I in no way am willing to accept that I might murder my family or sexually harm a child. Nope. Not ever going to be okay with that. A lot of people practice being okay with the uncertainty and that's great if it helps them but just know there are other methods out there. These different CBT techniques are tools to pull out of a toolbox. Not every tool works on every job, and not every person wields each tool equally well.
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Side note though, ERP is teaching me to be okay with the feelings that uncertainty brings. And I feel like that's where the magic happens.
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Yea I completely agree with this. I usually compare what I have to POCD for some reason and I think that I would not be okay with saying “maybe I will maybe I won’t” on doing anything to a child like that is just a lot
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Yea for sure
Related posts
- Username
- Lina
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Has anyone with hocd gotten to a point where they cant even say they are straight anymore? This is super triggering for me as Ive seen a lot of people saying that they know their straight. Like I feel like a liar when I say im straight. I know I dont want to be with a girl or anything but what if I do? What if that is what my future holds?
- Username
- hate_ocd.123
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I look at straight couples and cry cause i will never be able to have that. The thought of being happy with another girl makes me sad, and i feel bad that it makes me sad cause then it feeds my horrible person ocd and makes me feel homophobic cause nothings wrong with it but i dont want to be with a girl and dont want to be lesbian cause i dont want girls or dont want to desire them. And the thought of never being happy with a boy makes it even worse. Then im scared i’m actually okay with that thought. I always dreamt of being with a boy and now i can’t even fantasize about kissing and cuddling. Cause suddenly i feel like kissing a boy is gross and cuddling i feel nothing. AND I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO BE WITH A GUY AND FEEL ATTRACTED TO THEM. And i dont know why i want it so bad but i do. I want it so bad but i cant have it. I just can’t handle this anymore. The fear, the stress, the not knowing, the confusion. My mind at war. Feeling as if my mind and body are at war. My body responds to something and my mind hates it and freaks out and doesnt want it. Hocd is a fucking demon and i feel like jumping off a cliff rn. Anything would be better than this, anything.
- Username
- AnxiousMind24
- Date posted
- 45w ago
Reconciling with never knowing
How can I come to terms that I might never know my sexual orientation for sure? I keep telling myself that maybe I’m straight, maybe I’m not, doesn’t matter, and it helps me for some time. But then my mind still latches onto needing to figure this out. I just can’t understand how I can be so sure of everything else about myself (or at least feel very sure and it all feels right), but with this topic I feel like I will never know and it makes me so depressed… I also always wonder how others without OCD can be so sure or not care to know 😭 it feels almost disingenuous not to try to figure yourself out
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond