- Username
- takingmylifeback
- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Username
- Soph Soph
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I think sometimes what keeps us in our ‘locked’ state is wanting and searching so badly to get out of that state? I’ve read a lot about the benefits of acceptance not only of your thoughts and doubts, but of your current state itself, and by just saying to yourself ‘ok, imma be unsure about my sexuality, but I can still choose to love my boyfriend and know that that’s enough to be able to stay with him! Maybe in the future I’ll not worry about my sexuality, but for now, this is my lot.’ I’m still struggling with HOCD myself and that core fear of sexuality changing (hopefully working on it), but I found that when I said to myself ‘I’m just gonna accept that for know I can’t truly be sure, oh well I’m just gonna get on’ and I found myself still living as a straight woman and daydreaming about guys and getting less and less intrusive thoughts about women.
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am 100% going to try this!! Thank you so much for your input
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
With practice and proper training, you will be able to be in a place where this thought doesn't even come up, or comes up and passes much quicker. When you engage in compulsions you feed your thoughts and they last much much longer! I would recommend stopping that phrase (unless your couselor has recommended it) and starving the thought instead. Meaning, don't talk back to it. Acknowledge the intense whirlwind of brain chatter in your mind and the crazy sensations it's causing in your body and then set a timer for 5 minutes and just let it be. Everytime you try to tell yourself something, "maybe, I am, maybe I'm not, omg, what if I am? I don't want this, ect." Tell yourself "No" outloud to break the compulsion and recenter. Try this for 5 minutes and see if your anxiety slowly goes down.
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m definitely going to try this!! I guess in those 5 minutes you’re trying to repeat that same thought to yourself or just try to breathe and stuff?
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Also thank you so much this was really helpful
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@takingmylifeback Well I'm guessing with the severity of your thoughts they are pretty common throughout the day? I don't think you have to repeat anything, the repeating is just to get you triggered which you already are. So your job is to notice when you're going down that rabbit role, go sit yourself down, set a timer for 5 minutes and resist the urge to talk to yourself or analyze anything. Just sit there. Just feel. And breathe. And sit.
- Username
- Where’sMySerotonin?Where’sMySer...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I relate ? I just want actual answers too instead of forcing myself to be okay with uncertainty. Because in reality, IM NOT OKAY WITH UNCERTAINTY. Sometimes we can’t possibly know answers and we just gotta do our best. We’re strong and gotta learn to trust ourselves!
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
THAT IS WHAT IM SAYING like I’m not okay with it and stuff but you stay strong too
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I understand how you feel. I personally don't like the stance of "accept uncertainty" because it doesn't make any sense to me. I in no way am willing to accept that I might murder my family or sexually harm a child. Nope. Not ever going to be okay with that. A lot of people practice being okay with the uncertainty and that's great if it helps them but just know there are other methods out there. These different CBT techniques are tools to pull out of a toolbox. Not every tool works on every job, and not every person wields each tool equally well.
- Username
- Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Side note though, ERP is teaching me to be okay with the feelings that uncertainty brings. And I feel like that's where the magic happens.
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Yea I completely agree with this. I usually compare what I have to POCD for some reason and I think that I would not be okay with saying “maybe I will maybe I won’t” on doing anything to a child like that is just a lot
- Username
- takingmylifebacktakingmylife...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@christinejg94 Yea for sure
Related posts
- Username
- Dothewalkofl...
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Vent of my feelings
Basically. I’m scared that at some point I will feel no anxiety and ‘give in’ and accept it. I have a really hard time believing I have ocd (because I can’t get diagnosed because of my age) sometimes I feel like I do because I remember the days where I was crying on the floor with how real it felt and I DIDNT want it to be real. I worry that I am in denial and I’m just not accept it. Or that it’s suppressed. Or internalised homophobia. Anything really that means it’s all real. I have my moments where I feel normal again but they don’t last long. I wish I knew if it was hocd/ocd but then again I know I’d doubt it if I was told it was. But then again I feel like hearing a professional say ‘you have ocd’ would mean a lot to me. If anyone feels the same or similar I would love to know (btw reassurance very rarely helps me anymore. I just love knowing if I’m not alone and not going crazy) Maybe maybe not doesnt help. I always spiral more with that but I often use ‘I don’t need to know right now’ and that brings me some relief (not sure if it should but it does)
- Username
- AnxiousMind24
- Date posted
- 46w ago
Reconciling with never knowing
How can I come to terms that I might never know my sexual orientation for sure? I keep telling myself that maybe I’m straight, maybe I’m not, doesn’t matter, and it helps me for some time. But then my mind still latches onto needing to figure this out. I just can’t understand how I can be so sure of everything else about myself (or at least feel very sure and it all feels right), but with this topic I feel like I will never know and it makes me so depressed… I also always wonder how others without OCD can be so sure or not care to know 😭 it feels almost disingenuous not to try to figure yourself out
- Username
- takingmylife...
- Date posted
- 36w ago
Happiness
I just want to be happy with my boyfriend and I genuinely don’t know what to do. How will I get over this… every time I find some peace something from my past comes to haunt me and I always find a reason as to why that means I’m gay. Every time I think well I’ve liked guys my whole life I convince myself that it was all fake. This sucks and I’m so tired of this. I want 100% certainty and I don’t know how to be okay without it. It wouldn’t be fair to him if I’m gay and I hurt him down the road. The last thing I would ever want to do it hurt him that’s why I want to figure this out and be done with it once and for all
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