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- 5y
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- 5y
I think sometimes what keeps us in our ‘locked’ state is wanting and searching so badly to get out of that state? I’ve read a lot about the benefits of acceptance not only of your thoughts and doubts, but of your current state itself, and by just saying to yourself ‘ok, imma be unsure about my sexuality, but I can still choose to love my boyfriend and know that that’s enough to be able to stay with him! Maybe in the future I’ll not worry about my sexuality, but for now, this is my lot.’ I’m still struggling with HOCD myself and that core fear of sexuality changing (hopefully working on it), but I found that when I said to myself ‘I’m just gonna accept that for know I can’t truly be sure, oh well I’m just gonna get on’ and I found myself still living as a straight woman and daydreaming about guys and getting less and less intrusive thoughts about women.
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I am 100% going to try this!! Thank you so much for your input
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With practice and proper training, you will be able to be in a place where this thought doesn't even come up, or comes up and passes much quicker. When you engage in compulsions you feed your thoughts and they last much much longer! I would recommend stopping that phrase (unless your couselor has recommended it) and starving the thought instead. Meaning, don't talk back to it. Acknowledge the intense whirlwind of brain chatter in your mind and the crazy sensations it's causing in your body and then set a timer for 5 minutes and just let it be. Everytime you try to tell yourself something, "maybe, I am, maybe I'm not, omg, what if I am? I don't want this, ect." Tell yourself "No" outloud to break the compulsion and recenter. Try this for 5 minutes and see if your anxiety slowly goes down.
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I’m definitely going to try this!! I guess in those 5 minutes you’re trying to repeat that same thought to yourself or just try to breathe and stuff?
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Also thank you so much this was really helpful
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@takingmylifeback Well I'm guessing with the severity of your thoughts they are pretty common throughout the day? I don't think you have to repeat anything, the repeating is just to get you triggered which you already are. So your job is to notice when you're going down that rabbit role, go sit yourself down, set a timer for 5 minutes and resist the urge to talk to yourself or analyze anything. Just sit there. Just feel. And breathe. And sit.
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I relate ? I just want actual answers too instead of forcing myself to be okay with uncertainty. Because in reality, IM NOT OKAY WITH UNCERTAINTY. Sometimes we can’t possibly know answers and we just gotta do our best. We’re strong and gotta learn to trust ourselves!
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THAT IS WHAT IM SAYING like I’m not okay with it and stuff but you stay strong too
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I understand how you feel. I personally don't like the stance of "accept uncertainty" because it doesn't make any sense to me. I in no way am willing to accept that I might murder my family or sexually harm a child. Nope. Not ever going to be okay with that. A lot of people practice being okay with the uncertainty and that's great if it helps them but just know there are other methods out there. These different CBT techniques are tools to pull out of a toolbox. Not every tool works on every job, and not every person wields each tool equally well.
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@christinejg94 Side note though, ERP is teaching me to be okay with the feelings that uncertainty brings. And I feel like that's where the magic happens.
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@christinejg94 Yea I completely agree with this. I usually compare what I have to POCD for some reason and I think that I would not be okay with saying “maybe I will maybe I won’t” on doing anything to a child like that is just a lot
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- 5y
@christinejg94 Yea for sure
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
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- 17w
I feel I have HOCD FOR MORE THAN 10 years now. Basically all my ocd started since me and my husband started dating for real…. Will it ever go away? Will I ever be happy? Will I ever know? I don’t know… How long for you? Edit for me it’s more SO OCD cause I think I’m bisexual
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- 14w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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