- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
ultimately i think the point of this is that sexuality exists on a spectrum. you can find people of the same sex attractive and occasionally have sexual feelings towards them but choose to be with someone of the opposite sex and be very attracted to them. even people who have never had same sex attraction their entire lives and have been happily married to people of the opposite sex can become attracted to someone of the same sex later in life. ocd is trying to make us safe and trying to get rid of all the unwanted feelings so that we’ll never have to deal with them again, but there is no such thing as “safe.” we just have to exist and accept whatever comes our way, and sometimes that may be some attraction to the same sex but it doesn’t have to change everything about who we are. but of course that’s way easier said than done and i still struggle a ton ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I mentioned this to someone else, but there is a clear difference between physical admiration and sexual/romantic attraction. I am a guy and never had a problem with HOCD, until my late 20’s when my anxiety flared up. So just thinking about that rationally helped me. Then it clicked to me that I could think someone is attractive/good looking without there being a sexual/romantic component to it. Just like I can think a dog is a good looking dog without there being some deeper meaning.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
How long did you suffer with it for ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It's not that easy once you start getting groinal responses and it makes you think it IS sexual attraction.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@hateocd123 Yes but you have be able to sit with the groins response and realize that it is not a true arousal and only happening because you are checking on it and hyper focused there, but until you sit with the uncomfortable sensation you will never know and will live in your head. I had it for about 6 months, then I decided to say fuck it and confront it because life was miserable. I’d rather be gay and happy than be stuck in my head an miserable. It’s really just an awareness thing that once it gets into your head it gets stuck there. Like prior to those thoughts I never had any concern about being gay. I was always into women and always masturbated thinking about women and doing sexual things with women, then all of a sudden these thoughts appear and enter my awareness, but what’s changed? Nothing just that I became aware of some troubling thoughts that I didn’t agree with. So I sat with the anxiety and challenged it. I challenged myself to pick out attractive dudes and sit with the thoughts, then over time my brain calmed down and realized that admiring someone physically is not the same as wanting to have sexual or romantic relationships. I remember when I was younger i used to read body building magazines and admire the physiques and I’d go to the gym and workout to try and get a similar physique. 6 pack abs, nice pecs, etc... I NEVER ONCE THOUGHT IT WAS GAY, I would admire the physiques not in a sexual way but because I used it as motivation so that I would become more attractive to WOMEN. So that is proof that you can look at someone and like something about them, their hair, their smile, their body, etc without it meaning you are gay/bi.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Gainz32 How old r u boss
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Unset theme or content of the thoughts, all of us with OCD has to learn to accept uncertainty. We lean into "maybe maybe not", the more you accept uncertainty the more you will see that the thoughts are just thoughts, nothing more than that.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
I just want to know the difference of someone who is gay vs someone who is just questioning bc of ocd. Like would you hear I’m gay im gay over and over and over again in your head but it didn’t feel right? But when I say this is a waste of my time im of course straight it feels like im lying but I know im not attracted to women at all I am certain of that. But picking a label is what i can’t settle on so this is my ocd or not
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
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