- Username
- OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
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- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I should also add that about a month ago, my son made up a story about a teacher at daycare hitting him. This teacher was never in my son’s classroom, and it ended up being a story he totally made up.
- Username
- ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y ago
First, take some deep breaths. It may help to focus on blowing air out rather than on inhaling. Nothing needs to be done or decided until you're calmer. I can understand why you're distressed. OCD aside, that's a upsetting thing to hear your child say. It's clear you love your children deeply. You've already talked with your husband to get his perspective. That's good. If it were me, my next step would be to start or continue conversations with your son about "private parts" using correct terminology so that he understands what is and isn't ok. I've got resource links if you want them- my job is in early childhood mental health and this is something I talk with parents about a lot.
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
We use appropriate terminology with our kids, but he finds pee pee to be especially funny. He even adds it into his singing the ABCs, along with poop and pee. I’ve talked with both my kids about how we keep our private parts to ourselves and how no one is allowed to touch them, and if that happens to tell me or dad right away. I tried talking to my son again, and he just kept laughing and saying it was a made up story and then saying it wasn’t a story.
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes I’ll take a look at your resources. I just feel like I’m spiraling out of control because this is literally my worst nightmare if it’s true.
- Username
- ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@emy730 These are some picture books that could help teach body safety https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2018/09/5-books-for-teaching-your-kids-about-body-safety-and-consent.html/amp I find kids, especially preschoolers, need repetition and visuals to help them process. A book makes that easy, when you read it multiple times, the words are the same, so the message is clear
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Katie I just ordered a few of those to read with my kids. Thank you for those.
- Username
- ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@emy730 You may want to read them yourself first, especially if this is a topic that is highly emotional for you
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The other thing that is messing with me is that my maternal grandfather WAS a child predator (specifically to my mom and her two younger sisters), and a terrible person. My dad hated him, and I watched him go off on someone who tried to say he was a good man. He was so upset he was crying and red faced, which is also outside his character as he’s usually very gentle and kind, rarely raising his voice.
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
And yes, my kids are my whole world. I love them so very much and would literally do anything to keep them safe.
- Username
- Phoenix1Phoenix1
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The tsunami of confusing emotions you are going through is understandable. As there is this “ possible” world claimed by your son which is so scary. And then there is another world which you witnessed all your life where your father is an antithesis of a child abuser. And then you have your parental protective instincts and value where you don’t want to falter as parent. They together are putting tremendous pressure on you. One thing seems to be sure that your son is in ok space as he is laughing and perhaps enjoying the attention. Seems it’s all about holding your horses and not reacting for some more time before your son comes and tells another version. He seems to be happy and safe. I get it another thought would be that kids can be happy in dangerous situation too. But it’s about respecting instincts of your son for some more time. If he was threatened he would not laugh and enjoy at this moment. Unfortunately before you can “rescue “ your kid from this situation ( real or perceived) . You need to rescue yourself by taking some time and support- maybe from your husband and others before handling this situation. It’s not a great space to be in, but it’s seems to be a rational approach at this time. Keep a close eye on your physical sensations. Try and be aware of them , else there is a danger of blowing up. Try to calm yourself down using breathing, exercise or other techniques. Writing everything down would be another excellent technique. Take care
- Username
- Phoenix1Phoenix1
- Date posted
- 4y ago
P.s. I have 2 kids. One is naughtier than other. Have strong value of to be a good parent. Have had troubled childhood. Love my own parents. Wa suspicious of the fact that my father would ill treat my kids as did to myself. So life was challenging as I had this “additional responsibility “ of protecting my kids from this perceived threat. I understand the pressure you are in.
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you for your kindness
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
My husband thinks this is my son’s natural curiosity about his body and others. Our bathroom doors don’t lock, and he often walks in on one of us using the bathroom. We’ve explained the bathroom is a private place, but he still comes in often. He thinks he walked in on my dad using the bathroom or maybe as he was dressing.
- Username
- Phoenix1Phoenix1
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Very useful understanding of the situation it seems.
- Username
- OCDsucks111OCDsucks111
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Regardless of what happened, I recognize that I will never truly know what happened, if anything at all. I am trying to accept that, and also acknowledge that as his parent, I hold the power to protect him. If this becomes something we learn is more devious and he is a predator, I can keep him safe and away from that threat. Regardless, my son is in no immediate danger and is safe and loved at this moment.
Related posts
- Username
- bloop123
- Date posted
- 4y ago
OK! I am going through the weirdest thought process and it’s kinda TMI but I just don’t know who else to talk to. So I’ve been dating this guy for a while and he is sO goofy. He sent me a snap video of him in a bath and he was trying to make me laughing peeing in the video too. And it was cute seeing him in a bath because he’s a grown man in a little bath all by himself I thought it was cute. But when he pee’d it reminded me of my nephew. Sometimes when I take my baby nephew to the potty I have to carry him to pee because he’s so tiny and when he finishes it’s this funny little trickling noise. And that’s the noise my bf made in the video. So when that came in my mind I had this idea that I’m like a pedophile or into children because I thought... Like I don’t even know I can’t even explain it. Like when my bf sent me that video I didn’t think of it sexually or turned on by it. I genuinely just thought it was adorable that he was in a bath like a little boy. And then it made me panic like do I think it’s cute because I’m into children?! I don’t really know what to do. I’ve always suffered from POCD but I’m really scared about this...
- Username
- Meepmeep
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I don’t know what to do
So I have pocd so sometimes I have a hard time figuring out what’s acceptable and unacceptable, also sometimes I’m scared of others doing the things I fear. So today my husband and our kids went on a float with some of my family which was going good until I turned around and my husband had gone back to where my cousins and little brother were and I saw he was helping my 16 yr old (f) cousin tie her swim suit that had untied. Which made me uncomfortable especially while there’s people her age around that could have helped and her mom wasn’t that far away. Then like 5 minutes later they were holding onto each others paddle boards and she was holding onto his paddle all while he was holding it close all this time I’m trying to keep our kids close and together. My aunt, her mom was distracted trying to keep my grandparents in line since they aren’t use to kayaking so I don’t even know if she noticed to think anything of it. Then after I was clearly irritated my husband got away from her and was like what’s wrong to which I just said I’m okay. After he realized I wasn’t in the mood to speak with him my cousin came up to me and went on about how her swim suit came untied and why she couldn’t fix it and it just felt like damage control. And I want to clarify I’m not mad at her she’s a child but I’m infuriated that my idiot husband thinks all of that was ok and doesn’t try keep space between them. I don’t know what to do because I know I sometimes blow things out of proportion or I see things different because of ocd, so I don’t know if that was weird or if I’m not thinking right and ocds winning I just need help deciphering what I should do. I honestly just want to tell him to leave and to stay away from my family but I haven’t because I don’t know if it’s me being crazy or if it’s actually concerning. So can someone please help?
- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 42w ago
Thoughts? *Trigger warning sexual assault*
I found out my mom was molested by her dad when she was little. My parents got a divorce when I was a teen and my grandpa became like my dad. He was a well respected man and he was a little weird but I chalked it up to him just being a dirty old man (when he would joke about things). My mom started having flash backs later in life and blocked them out. I was so sad to know this happened to her and that it happened at the hands of some I loved and trusted. Now I want to be a mom but I am afraid of someone hurting my kids. My grandpa has passed away but I have OCD and my intrusive thoughts are: what if someone I love and trust does this to my kids? I love and trust my husband and he is an amazing guy for an example but I over analyze things like the dog sitting on his lap and stuff like that. We talked about me going to therapy and my husband said hell come with me but I keep having bad experiences with therapists so I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me? I want to be a good mom and let the past go but im worried im going to overanayalze everything and that scares me because my friends, family, and husband don’t deserve me thinking horrible things
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