OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

I need advice on something because I’m freaking out. Anxiety is sky high and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I was taking my kids to get soMe ice cream and my 3-year old son was being super goofy and silly. He’s in a stage where bathroom humor (poop, pee, butt, pee pee) is just his favorite thing. He said, “Grandpa showed me his pee pee!”and he was laughing and giggling. My daughter is 6 and said, “No he didn’t!” I asked her again when we got home and again she said her brother was just being goofy and it never happened. I immediately spiked because sexual abuse of my kids is my nightmare. Add to that that my dad (their grandpa) is my best friend, one of my biggest supporters with my mental health and just a really decent man. This does not fit into who he is at all; he’s basically the opposite of a predator. I told my husband, who immediately said, “This sounds like your OCD acting up and playing on your biggest fears. This doesn’t fit your dad or his values,” I took my emergency anxiety meds and I’m trying to sit with it and let it go. Should I talk to my dad? Should I chalk this up to OCD trying to mess me up?

"Pure" OCD

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

I should also add that about a month ago, my son made up a story about a teacher at daycare hitting him. This teacher was never in my son’s classroom, and it ended up being a story he totally made up.

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

First, take some deep breaths. It may help to focus on blowing air out rather than on inhaling. Nothing needs to be done or decided until you're calmer. I can understand why you're distressed. OCD aside, that's a upsetting thing to hear your child say. It's clear you love your children deeply. You've already talked with your husband to get his perspective. That's good. If it were me, my next step would be to start or continue conversations with your son about "private parts" using correct terminology so that he understands what is and isn't ok. I've got resource links if you want them- my job is in early childhood mental health and this is something I talk with parents about a lot.

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

We use appropriate terminology with our kids, but he finds pee pee to be especially funny. He even adds it into his singing the ABCs, along with poop and pee. I’ve talked with both my kids about how we keep our private parts to ourselves and how no one is allowed to touch them, and if that happens to tell me or dad right away. I tried talking to my son again, and he just kept laughing and saying it was a made up story and then saying it wasn’t a story.

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

Yes I’ll take a look at your resources. I just feel like I’m spiraling out of control because this is literally my worst nightmare if it’s true.

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

@emy730 These are some picture books that could help teach body safety https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2018/09/5-books-for-teaching-your-kids-about-body-safety-and-consent.html/amp I find kids, especially preschoolers, need repetition and visuals to help them process. A book makes that easy, when you read it multiple times, the words are the same, so the message is clear

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I just ordered a few of those to read with my kids. Thank you for those.

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

@emy730 You may want to read them yourself first, especially if this is a topic that is highly emotional for you

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

The other thing that is messing with me is that my maternal grandfather WAS a child predator (specifically to my mom and her two younger sisters), and a terrible person. My dad hated him, and I watched him go off on someone who tried to say he was a good man. He was so upset he was crying and red faced, which is also outside his character as he’s usually very gentle and kind, rarely raising his voice.

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

And yes, my kids are my whole world. I love them so very much and would literally do anything to keep them safe.

Phoenix1

Date posted: 5y

The tsunami of confusing emotions you are going through is understandable. As there is this “ possible” world claimed by your son which is so scary. And then there is another world which you witnessed all your life where your father is an antithesis of a child abuser. And then you have your parental protective instincts and value where you don’t want to falter as parent. They together are putting tremendous pressure on you. One thing seems to be sure that your son is in ok space as he is laughing and perhaps enjoying the attention. Seems it’s all about holding your horses and not reacting for some more time before your son comes and tells another version. He seems to be happy and safe. I get it another thought would be that kids can be happy in dangerous situation too. But it’s about respecting instincts of your son for some more time. If he was threatened he would not laugh and enjoy at this moment. Unfortunately before you can “rescue “ your kid from this situation ( real or perceived) . You need to rescue yourself by taking some time and support- maybe from your husband and others before handling this situation. It’s not a great space to be in, but it’s seems to be a rational approach at this time. Keep a close eye on your physical sensations. Try and be aware of them , else there is a danger of blowing up. Try to calm yourself down using breathing, exercise or other techniques. Writing everything down would be another excellent technique. Take care

Phoenix1

Date posted: 5y

P.s. I have 2 kids. One is naughtier than other. Have strong value of to be a good parent. Have had troubled childhood. Love my own parents. Wa suspicious of the fact that my father would ill treat my kids as did to myself. So life was challenging as I had this “additional responsibility “ of protecting my kids from this perceived threat. I understand the pressure you are in.

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for your kindness

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

My husband thinks this is my son’s natural curiosity about his body and others. Our bathroom doors don’t lock, and he often walks in on one of us using the bathroom. We’ve explained the bathroom is a private place, but he still comes in often. He thinks he walked in on my dad using the bathroom or maybe as he was dressing.

Phoenix1

Date posted: 5y

Very useful understanding of the situation it seems.

OCDsucks111

Date posted: 5y

Regardless of what happened, I recognize that I will never truly know what happened, if anything at all. I am trying to accept that, and also acknowledge that as his parent, I hold the power to protect him. If this becomes something we learn is more devious and he is a predator, I can keep him safe and away from that threat. Regardless, my son is in no immediate danger and is safe and loved at this moment.

roszip-0toMd...

Date posted: 25w

Please help!!!

TW! please someone comment When I was 12 or 13 I used to babysit a little girl, she had a habit of keeping her hand in her diaper and was always touching herself, there was one point I was changing her diaper and noticed she was really red. I had separated her private parts and checked the inner area for signs of infection. She was okay, just some really really bad diaper rash. I know this is what happened yet my brain is trying to convince me that I hurt her, and that I wanted to do it, I know I would never hurt a child but with all the anxiety I feel when I think about it I'm starting to wonder if I did do it because I wanted to hurt her, I don't wanna be a p, I don't wanna hurt innocent children, I used to never have these thoughts but now I do and I'm so scared to tell my therapist as she hasn't diagnosed me with ocd yet. I don't want her to think I'm a p nor do I wanna hurt kids, but my brain keeps telling me that I do and that I'm just lying to myself and everyone around me, ik I would never do something that could harm a child but I keep getting these thoughts and their inappropriate and I just want them to stop, does anyone have any tips on how to help myself? I keep turning to my boyfriend for reassurance but ik that that's just a quick fix and that ill be spiraling about it again.Please help

Kell01

Date posted: 21w

Vent

Hate those times where you can decipher if it’s false memories or real. My theme is Pocd and I Cosleep with my son and ocd really loves to mess with that. My brain is spinning and trying to spiral into me thinking I touch my little one inappropriately in my sleep. This little image that keeps replaying is me turned towards him but my hand was on his thigh and I do believe he was in his side. And I remember I grabbed the blanket but for some reason I feel as if I grabbed or felt the blanket where it was folded. (Not sure if I was trying to fully cover him back because the pass couple nights he was tangled up in the blanket) I don’t remember what happed after that because I went back to sleep. But that little part I want to be certain I was messing with the blanket and not inappropriately touching my son. I mean can you touch someone inappropriately while sleeping? I’m sure a “real” pedo would plan something like this right? Like they would go to sleep with that intention. (Which I didn’t) Someone please help

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w

my POCD has won and I’m a horrible human being

*PLEASE READ* *any help appreciated* So I work with kids and it’s a lightning rod for triggering my POCD. I work with a mental health org that supports kids with autism and other intellectual development disorders. And so I’ve grown really close with one kid since I started since I was his first ever staff and he was the first ever kid I worked with. I’ve grown really protective of him and we’ve become really close and our relationship truly means the world to me. But before I get into my little incident, I have to provide context: so I am hypersexual and struggle with compulsive masturbation and my urges are almost uncontrollable sometimes. I have a lot of trauma from foot fetish stuff/pornography as a kid and it’s carried on into my adult life unfortunately. And so as I was waking up my kid and trying to get him out of bed to get him into the shower (I usually give him a few extra minutes but if he’s uncooperative I have to pull him out of bed gently) and so I just shift him by his legs bc it’s easiest. And my urges and thoughts have been so bad lately and when he wasn’t cooperating, as I was shifting his legs today, his foot touched my private area and I carried on normally but now I feel like a monster and everything I fear. I need some advice bc I’m scared to even talk to my therapist about this bc I think I will go to jail. I don’t want to be like this and I hate POCD so much and I rlly care so much for this kid and would actually die for him to protect him. I just need someone to tell me I’m not crazy bc idk if that contact between us was intentional or not and I have not spiraled like this for so long. I truly am losing my mind and want to give up bc I know I am not the person my POCD tells me I am but now I feel like I am everything it calls me. I feel so ashamed and repulsed and disgusted in myself and wish I didn’t exist. I feel like I’ve exploited my kid and taken advantage of him and that I don’t deserve to have him in my life and that I don’t even deserve to life and would be better off in jail or dead. im so broken and I’m sorry if what im saying is confusing

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