- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I should also add that about a month ago, my son made up a story about a teacher at daycare hitting him. This teacher was never in my son’s classroom, and it ended up being a story he totally made up.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
First, take some deep breaths. It may help to focus on blowing air out rather than on inhaling. Nothing needs to be done or decided until you're calmer. I can understand why you're distressed. OCD aside, that's a upsetting thing to hear your child say. It's clear you love your children deeply. You've already talked with your husband to get his perspective. That's good. If it were me, my next step would be to start or continue conversations with your son about "private parts" using correct terminology so that he understands what is and isn't ok. I've got resource links if you want them- my job is in early childhood mental health and this is something I talk with parents about a lot.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
We use appropriate terminology with our kids, but he finds pee pee to be especially funny. He even adds it into his singing the ABCs, along with poop and pee. I’ve talked with both my kids about how we keep our private parts to ourselves and how no one is allowed to touch them, and if that happens to tell me or dad right away. I tried talking to my son again, and he just kept laughing and saying it was a made up story and then saying it wasn’t a story.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes I’ll take a look at your resources. I just feel like I’m spiraling out of control because this is literally my worst nightmare if it’s true.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@emy730 These are some picture books that could help teach body safety https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thechildrensbookreview.com/weblog/2018/09/5-books-for-teaching-your-kids-about-body-safety-and-consent.html/amp I find kids, especially preschoolers, need repetition and visuals to help them process. A book makes that easy, when you read it multiple times, the words are the same, so the message is clear
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Katie I just ordered a few of those to read with my kids. Thank you for those.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@emy730 You may want to read them yourself first, especially if this is a topic that is highly emotional for you
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The other thing that is messing with me is that my maternal grandfather WAS a child predator (specifically to my mom and her two younger sisters), and a terrible person. My dad hated him, and I watched him go off on someone who tried to say he was a good man. He was so upset he was crying and red faced, which is also outside his character as he’s usually very gentle and kind, rarely raising his voice.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
And yes, my kids are my whole world. I love them so very much and would literally do anything to keep them safe.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The tsunami of confusing emotions you are going through is understandable. As there is this “ possible” world claimed by your son which is so scary. And then there is another world which you witnessed all your life where your father is an antithesis of a child abuser. And then you have your parental protective instincts and value where you don’t want to falter as parent. They together are putting tremendous pressure on you. One thing seems to be sure that your son is in ok space as he is laughing and perhaps enjoying the attention. Seems it’s all about holding your horses and not reacting for some more time before your son comes and tells another version. He seems to be happy and safe. I get it another thought would be that kids can be happy in dangerous situation too. But it’s about respecting instincts of your son for some more time. If he was threatened he would not laugh and enjoy at this moment. Unfortunately before you can “rescue “ your kid from this situation ( real or perceived) . You need to rescue yourself by taking some time and support- maybe from your husband and others before handling this situation. It’s not a great space to be in, but it’s seems to be a rational approach at this time. Keep a close eye on your physical sensations. Try and be aware of them , else there is a danger of blowing up. Try to calm yourself down using breathing, exercise or other techniques. Writing everything down would be another excellent technique. Take care
- Date posted
- 4y ago
P.s. I have 2 kids. One is naughtier than other. Have strong value of to be a good parent. Have had troubled childhood. Love my own parents. Wa suspicious of the fact that my father would ill treat my kids as did to myself. So life was challenging as I had this “additional responsibility “ of protecting my kids from this perceived threat. I understand the pressure you are in.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you for your kindness
- Date posted
- 4y ago
My husband thinks this is my son’s natural curiosity about his body and others. Our bathroom doors don’t lock, and he often walks in on one of us using the bathroom. We’ve explained the bathroom is a private place, but he still comes in often. He thinks he walked in on my dad using the bathroom or maybe as he was dressing.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Very useful understanding of the situation it seems.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Regardless of what happened, I recognize that I will never truly know what happened, if anything at all. I am trying to accept that, and also acknowledge that as his parent, I hold the power to protect him. If this becomes something we learn is more devious and he is a predator, I can keep him safe and away from that threat. Regardless, my son is in no immediate danger and is safe and loved at this moment.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w ago
Every day my ocd makes sure there’s a new reason for me to stay trapped in my mind rather than being the mom I want to be that my kids need. Instead i’m stuck in my head depressed and pushing them away. The other day I was braiding my daughter’s hair like I always do and her hair is really long so when I get to the end of the braid I can see her butt in my peripheral vision and I looked down and I immediately got upset asking myself why did I look down?(the ocd has made me question everything I do now). I know it’s just because I was at the end of the braid and I just looked because I was already looking in that direction. A normal person wouldn’t even think twice about it. There was no inappropriate reason behind it at all but of course my ocd latched onto the situation and said I looked down because I wanted to look at her butt. I was so upset and said to myself “I don’t understand how the ocd started an intrusive thought because she was wearing baggy pants. I could understand if she had on tight pants and her butt was more noticeable” and the only reason I said that is because usually the only time my ocd starts intrusive thoughts telling me i’m looking at my daughter in a wrong way is when she has on leggings or a crop top or bathing suit ect. Now my ocd twisted what I said to mean that I like looking at her in tight pants. Nooo! That’s not what I meant but now the ocd won’t stop trying to make me believe that. I don’t ever look at my children in any inappropriate way. I hate this. I hate ocd and I can’t live like this anymore.
- Date posted
- 19w ago
This might be asking for reassurance but I’m at a point I’m not sure if this is ocd and who better to ask than you guys. Also want to mention I have been to a psychologist who diagnosed me with ocd and I’ve tried to seek therapy through NOCD but had a bad experience so I’m just looking for an opinion I’ll take with a grain of salt. I’ve been through bouts of pocd that I got through but now it’s morphed into something that feels so different. It’s like harm ocd and pocd together and it revolves around my daughter. Before this happened I was a loving mother who valued my kid more than anything. Now this is happening and it feels so sinister. I’m getting urges to do something bad and I get these feelings like I want to do that and it’s like my brain gets foggy and my values slip away and I feel like I could do it. But then I get a moment of clarity and I’m like wait a minute I’ve never hurt anyone in my life nor have I ever thought about it and this is my child what is happening. But then I get that foggy brain again and it’s like I can’t see her as my child. I try to sit with it and it’s like I get this adrenaline rush and feel like I have to do it. But I know I don’t want to do that, but then it’s like trying to make me want to want to. I’m not sure if I’m just lacking insight and clarity because I’m overwhelmed with the groinals, urges, thoughts and feelings but I just keep obsessing over the fact that death is my only way out. I don’t understand what happened to me. It feels like this demonic oppression and I don’t know how to get through this one or if this is still something I can get through because it might not be ocd. I try to go with the thoughts and feelings and say yeah maybe, maybe not, or yeah I’m going to do that but it seems to fuel the feelings. I feel like I’m teetering between the person I was and this evil awful person who has no regard for others. I don’t want to be around my daughter and I’m just angry all the time. The fear and anxiety used to be something I relied on and I feel none of that now. I used to be able to say “well no matter what I feel or think I can control my actions” and now it feels like I cannot control my actions but I’ve never hurt anyone before. Someone please give it to me straight and tell me if you think this might not be ocd.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
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