I’m currently on holiday and I’m staying with a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. My HOCD has returned and spiked again!!! I keep having urges to check for attraction again and intrusive thoughts about being gay again! I haven’t had this theme in 4 months and now it’s fighting back again! What do I do?!

I find that when on holidays or in a situation where I am supposed to be relaxed that things will spike big time. I’m currently on holiday myself and finding my OCD goes high. As impossible as it can be, try and resist the obsessing and mental review etc. It’s so hard to let dark things and fear go mulling over them and trying to find answers (as I do!) apparently is making it so much worse for ourselves. Maybe this theme has returned cause you’re on holiday or in a situation out of the norm, I suppose by the by people would say why it’s come back is might not be very significant but for us going through it, it’s so frightening, try not to be too hard on yourself and know that the forum is here

Big time, it’s so hard to relax especially when away and sometimes at home too and then even if we do relax a bit our OCD can make us more anxious for having relaxed, total bully stuff! We just have to keep on trying and working on it, it’s a long road for me so know you’re not alone :)

It’s a blinking long road for sure!! But we’ve just gotta keep moving! Hope you manage to try and have a nice holiday

Thank you @hopetogetabitbetterandhelp for replying! It kinda makes sense because I’m out of my usual routine and trying to relax! I’ve never known how to relax properly since my ocd came along big time!! I’m missing two weeks of therapy whilst I’m away too which I think has thrown me a fair bit but I’m just gonna keep trying with my erp techniques and ignoring everything

I've found that when I'm trying to relax or really enjoy myself, that's when OCD comes in and says: "I'm here to ruin this for you." That's why it's so important to understand that OCD is not fair, nor or is rational in any way whatsoever. When wanting to relax, enjoy yourself, do happy things, just keep in mind that OCD likes to amplify in these times. All it takes is a little more effort on your end to not ritualize or give into the obsessions!

It’s all about accepting that OCD may not be okay on vacation

Once you can accept that maybe obsessing is okay, that’s when it becomes easiee

That’s exactly how it is for me too, I find it so annoying sometimes but it’s just another one of OCDs bully tricks. I’m trying my best not to ritualise!

Hey Laurie @mark is going through the same thing as you and has posted just above you.