I’m currently on holiday and I’m staying with a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. My HOCD has returned and spiked again!!! I keep having urges to check for attraction again and intrusive thoughts about being gay again! I haven’t had this theme in 4 months and now it’s fighting back again! What do I do?!

I haven’t posted on here in a few days because I was feeling better but the past two days I’ve climbed my way back down the rabbit hole it seems. There’s this guy that I’m interested in and he seems to be interested in me. He keeps calling me pretty and how he’d like to meet me (he’s friends with my friends but I haven’t met him properly yet lmao) But I keep getting thoughts like “you’re not interested, you like women” and so on. I was feeling giddy about the whole thing up until two days ago where everything just seemed to shut off like my attraction, excitement and so on. I can’t believe I’m going through this again and I’m really trying to accept the thoughts but it’s so debilitating as I really want a bf but my brain keeps passing through thoughts that I do not want at all. Does anyone relate? Or have any coping strategies to help?

i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time

I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.