- Username
- Laurie
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I find that when on holidays or in a situation where I am supposed to be relaxed that things will spike big time. I’m currently on holiday myself and finding my OCD goes high. As impossible as it can be, try and resist the obsessing and mental review etc. It’s so hard to let dark things and fear go mulling over them and trying to find answers (as I do!) apparently is making it so much worse for ourselves. Maybe this theme has returned cause you’re on holiday or in a situation out of the norm, I suppose by the by people would say why it’s come back is might not be very significant but for us going through it, it’s so frightening, try not to be too hard on yourself and know that the forum is here
Big time, it’s so hard to relax especially when away and sometimes at home too and then even if we do relax a bit our OCD can make us more anxious for having relaxed, total bully stuff! We just have to keep on trying and working on it, it’s a long road for me so know you’re not alone :)
It’s a blinking long road for sure!! But we’ve just gotta keep moving! Hope you manage to try and have a nice holiday
Thank you @hopetogetabitbetterandhelp for replying! It kinda makes sense because I’m out of my usual routine and trying to relax! I’ve never known how to relax properly since my ocd came along big time!! I’m missing two weeks of therapy whilst I’m away too which I think has thrown me a fair bit but I’m just gonna keep trying with my erp techniques and ignoring everything
I've found that when I'm trying to relax or really enjoy myself, that's when OCD comes in and says: "I'm here to ruin this for you." That's why it's so important to understand that OCD is not fair, nor or is rational in any way whatsoever. When wanting to relax, enjoy yourself, do happy things, just keep in mind that OCD likes to amplify in these times. All it takes is a little more effort on your end to not ritualize or give into the obsessions!
It’s all about accepting that OCD may not be okay on vacation
Once you can accept that maybe obsessing is okay, that’s when it becomes easiee
That’s exactly how it is for me too, I find it so annoying sometimes but it’s just another one of OCDs bully tricks. I’m trying my best not to ritualise!
Hey Laurie @mark is going through the same thing as you and has posted just above you.
I’ve had HOCD for nearly 2 years now. For the last few months I had a pretty good handle on it. But last week it totally came back!... Except this time I am totally convinced it is real same-sex attraction and desires. This is terrible... one minute I was straight and the next, bi or gay. Like I just turned magically right like that. I don’t know if it’s real or not, because how could it be? How can you turn from straight to something else? And the worst thing is, the attraction was toward my good friend, with whom I’m rooming next year at college for freshman year! Sorry if I seem obnoxious. I cannot live like this
Before anyone reads this please be aware that this can be triggering and some 18+ content is mentioned on here. So I have been recently experiencing HOCD, been experiencing it for a few weeks now (it’s very new to me and something Ive never dealt with). My whole life I have never liked a girl nor have I ever had a crush or fell in love with a girl like I do with men. But just like everyone whenever people get into heat sometimes we watch things to pleasure ourselves. Well for me it’s always been lesbian love and have been doing that for years. There have been times where I go “am I bi” but then I would try to imagine myself with a women sexually and romantically and I would just cringe at the idea of it so I would just tell myself that I don’t and just carry on with my everyday life. But a few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about this and I explained to them that I am not bi because I would simply see lesbian love as something that I can relate to because of how women pleasure themselves can be relatable and because I said that my friend decides to make a comment saying ”idk maybe you are bi or not, you never know until you try” and for some reason that got in my head and for 2 weeks straight I was having non stop thoughts about my sexuality and trying to imagine myself with a girl and I would always cringe but there were times where it felt like “maybe I do want that” and I would panic again because I don’t want that and it’s not me but yet it feels like I’m lying to myself when I know deep down I’m straight. I also forgot to mention that I am in a relationship with my boyfriend and he’s literally everything to me. But during those two weeks I had lack of sleep and constant mental breakdowns because I don’t wanna be bi and I would panic whenever I felt calm and say things like ”it’s okay to be bi just be bi” it also didn’t help that so many of my friends were telling me that nothing is wrong with being bi and to not drop the idea fully. Like I know sexuality isn’t wrong but I want to drop the idea because I myself know deep down I’m straight but ofc my brain goes “nope you’re just tryna convince yourself”. It also ruins me enjoying my relationship because of these thoughts (as well as some ROCD thoughts). Idk I am just struggling with letting the thoughts in and trying not to analyze them or act on them. It’s very tiring 🥺 Like even rn I feel calm having these thoughts and it freaks me out a lil cause it makes me think that it’s true 😭
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