Unlike the most common types of OCD, my fears always come true. Let's take the easy example of turning off the stove 10 times just to be sure, it's all about the obession and compulsion. However my fear is to feel depersonalizated (i think i have this, not sure, for me it justfeels like being stabbed by 1000 knifes every second for weeks on end) so i try to avoid things that will make it happen. However, it keeps happening and it's devastating every single time, so much that i can't bear it at all. Your house catching fire likely won't come true, but me suffering intensely once i am triggered does, almost every single time, unless i somehow magically convince myself i just triggered myself and dp won't happen unless i let it by reacting strongly to the trigger. But it only worked like 5-6 times in my 4 years of suffering. I am still looking for a therapist to help me deal with this, but if anyone has any ideas as to what i could try or do i'd be grateful. Exposure doesn't work because the thing i am scared of comes true every time and i lose all control and cant think straight / really need guidance when it happens.

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

I get that you have a hard time with this! But I dont agree. Our obsessions can come true. For example I have found my stove on three times...but there were no fire... But the most important is that the treatment is the same. You have to learn to accept these emotions, it doesnt matter if you say they come true or not. I think a therapist can help you to find underlying fears also.

Waaahmo

Date posted: 5y

I'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that obsessions don't come true, it was just a specific example that the chance in the stove case is very small. I also know the goal of ocd is accepting the uncertainity instead of believing nothing will happen! Thanks for your insight, i also think i need to learn to accept the fears and my response to them coming true.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

I've gone through periods of depersonalisation and the one thing which kept it going was being nervous of it happening. Increases anxiety which causes me to overthink and leads to it, so I can understand why that sort of exposures tend to make it happen. The first priority would be to cut out ruminating about it, which is that middle step where the anxiety leads you to choose to worry. Believe it or not, worrying is a choice, it's actually a mental compulsion, so when you feel that you want to worry because something has triggered the fear of it happening, refuse to scratch that itch. Notice that you want to dwell on it, and full on distract yourself with something else. At this point, worrying about depersonalisation is much more of a rumination compulsion than an effective exposure. Instead a good exposure would be to expose yourself to the kinds of things and situations which usually TRIGGER you to start worrying about depersonalisation, and when you feel that anxiety, instead of starting to think (ruminate) about it, do something else which takes your full attention. It'll be difficult to do because you're feeling the triggered anxiety, but you can get through it without dwelling on any thoughts that may pop up about depersonalisation. Notice that the thought happened, sure, but don't follow it down its rabbit hole. That's proper response prevention. It may also help to make some adjustments to how you see depersonalisation. It is weird, but not dangerous. Personally I like it now, it's a little bit psychadelic to suddenly see things from a different angle, it's an opportunity to think about interesting philosophical questions like the nature of self. That stuff doesn't need to be at all scary- I find it very freeing.

Waaahmo

Date posted: 5y

Hi, thank you a lot for your comment! I think you are right with exposure and and changing the response to DP. I think my case of DP (if it is DP) is different from the most common types, i hear from a lot of people having existential anxiety, but for me it's complete paralysis, and i can't find a way to enjoy it...however i'm trying to find ways to accept it and stop rejecting it so much. I can't lie but it's extremely difficult haha! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

ocdillustrated

Date posted: 5y

I would approach this as similar to panic disorder, only instead of panic attacks, you're experiencing depersonalization. Like panic attacks, the depersonalization is intensely distressing sensation. However, not everyone who has panic attacks has panic disorder. Panic disorder is when someone becomes so afraid of having a panic attack that they avoid places they think the attacks might happen. Invariably, the attacks continue, so they avoid even more places and their world constricts around them. Avoiding triggers creates more triggers, in panic disorder, in PTSD, in OCD, etc. The treatment for panic disorder is learning to interpret the sensation in a less scary way. The sensations stay unpleasant, but when the narrative around them changes and avoidance stops, functioning improves and habituation can occur

Waaahmo

Date posted: 5y

Hi Katie, thank you a lot for your comment. What you write makes a lot of sense, i start to avoid anything that makes me scared to feel depersonalizated which creates more and more triggers, but i have no safety net in life, so i often think "i can't afford to get depersonalizated now, if i do, i'll be useless for who knows how long and noone will do the important tasks (like finding a therapist) for me." But depersonalization happens even when i don't feel scared, but i think my subconscious might be always on alert. It really helped to get some insight from other people, i'll try to work with this information and continue to look for professional help!

bun <3

Date posted: 25w

everything around me feels contaminated :((

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

Contamination OCD

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 22w

Triggering posts

I sometimes see posts on here of people saying their OCD fears becoming true and it’s so so triggering for me. It makes me question if I ever had OCD and if I’m just faking it. I’ve tried to accept that my fear was real. Okay? Before I knew this was OCD, I really TRIED to accept it as a part of myself because I figured if I was even having those thoughts, it must be true. But in reality it just made me feel worse in the end. It wasn’t until several hours/few days after accepting the thoughts as true did I realize they were not and how uncomfortable it made me identifying with them that way, so eventually I went back into the rumination cycle. And I’ve done this multiple times. No matter how much I’ve accepted it as real, I never come to a conclusion in the end and I just get 10x more miserable. And I am still so scared of my fear coming true as those peoples did. But I know that’s what we all fear, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. And with a new fear I just developed, (all in the realm of the same theme) I’ve also tried to accept it as real when I felt SUPER convinced and even though it felt excruciatingly real, there was a part of me that couldn’t fully believe it, because I just know viscerally that it’s not. But the feeling of it being real is just too powerful and it overmastered any ounce of insight I had left. It wasn’t until my OCD spike calmed down when I was able to see through the viel. I hate this. I have no desire to do anything that my thoughts tell me. I know what I want to be, want to do, and it’s the opposite of those OCD thoughts. But these triggering posts won’t leave. (Not really the publishers fault, it’s my ritual that I engage in). They make me come all back to square one (if I wasn’t there already) and question if I’m using this as an excuse. I don’t want to do what my OCD tells me to do, but my brain just spits, “you’re just convincing yourself you don’t want this!” as it so often now does. I’m so tired. Please give me my old self back. Please give me 100% certainty that none of this is real and my fears are not at all based in reality. My brain cannot accept uncertainty and will not leave me alone. My brain is raged and powerless without knowing why, and spiels that anger back on me to get a reaction, and when it gets what it wants, the cycle continues. And goes way longer than I had bargained for :(

Gmoki

Date posted: 20w

What do you do when an OCD fear comes true?

My mom is a kindergarten teacher, and today there was an active shooter at her elementary school during field day. Thank god no one got hurt, but a lot of children/teachers were left incredibly distressed, including my mom. This is my exact fear I’ve been dreading. I’ve been engaging in checking compulsions where I check my moms location every hour of every day. I’m pissed off about our gun laws for this exact reason. I’m so angry. Fortunately I do ERP, and it helps so much. However, what do you do if/when your ocd fears come true?

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