- Username
- cougars37
- Date posted
- 6y ago
So her sexual orientation was set. But people can sometimes be curious about the same sex, and experimentation doesn’t mean you’re gay. Even thoughts about sex and same sex doesn’t mean you’re gay. Actions matter, thoughts do not
I don’t get your point sorry cat_attack?
Those gay people still know they’re gay they don’t just wake up one day and realise it. They CHOOSE to hide it. Have curious thoughts / experimentation doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you’re a sexual being. Sexual orientation is much more than sex. It’s to do with romantic connection, emotional connection etc. so I don’t get your point and actually what you said is a trigger so be careful around HOCD. You have POCD. It’s different
You should know that even if you suddenly became attracted to an individual, you have the choice to whether or not you want to act on that. You would have complete control over your actions because OCD does not actually affect our self control (not an impulsive disorder). You would also have the choice over how to label your sexuality. People experimenting with their sexuality generally aren’t disturbed by the thoughts but are actually relieved because they feel they are embracing their most authentic self. The ultimate point is this- yes, a teensy tiny risk exists, but your chances of being a different sexuality than you think you are is no different than that risk for the general population.
Well nicky I wouldn’t exactly agree with that because I’ve made out with girls before and liked it, thought it was sexy and even still I am NOT a lesbian or bisexual (trust me I know, years of pocd to figure it out) and there are tons of gay people who live their lives straight, never touching the same sex, but know in their heart it is what they want.
Oh lord. No I truly don’t know the difference between all the things, Pcod, hcod, whatever that may be. And I don’t look up what they mean because that would be a trigger to me! And what I said was meant to help them. I didn’t want them reading what you wrote then having OCD get the better of them and one day make out with someone they aren’t interested in that way turn into them thinking then they MUST be the sexual orientation they were trying to hide. I’m disagreeing with what you said that actions matter. In regards to this, they don’t.
My initial thoughts are not as scary bc I’ve been doing erp. For example, when an initial thought comes across I don’t go into panic mode, instead when the thought comes across I tell myself “maybe yes maybe no” and I feel better. But the thing that is getting to me is that the next thought is usually “did you just suppress a gay thought” and that makes me go into panic mode. And I feel bad because I’m like damn if I am suppressing these thoughts that would be sad like why cant i just decide on one so that I could be happy. You know? And I didn’t have these thoughts before. It’s so annoying because I constantly feel like what if I’m in denial. And it makes me question whether I’m happy with or attracted to my boyfriend. I want to be happy so I’m like do I leave him and maybe date women, but then Im like oh no i don’t want to do that I want to be with him and be happy with him. Anyone going through something similar?
I feel like anytime I become really close to someone I can’t differentiate platonic or romantic feelings. My thoughts run wild thinking things along the lines of “you like them” “they secretly like you” “you could do —, —, or — with them.” I believe I’m Bisexual so I have these thoughts for both male & female, but sometimes I even worry about whether or not I’m really bisexual or if I’m just straight with extreme intrusive thoughts. I’ve had these thoughts about best friends, coworkers, & even relatives & it’s extremely disturbing. It makes me feel shameful for having these thoughts, especially with relatives or when in a relationship. I constantly have to tell myself that they’re just thoughts & I wouldn’t actually want anything to happen. I really don’t want to ruin my relationships with these people, but these thoughts wont go anyway no matter how many times I try to think the opposite in response to change my mindset. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about it & I’m very grateful that he’s so understanding, but it still troubles me. I’m really glad there’s another alternative of talking about these things
Hey, well, this is my first time ever posting in here but I figured why not? I’ve been struggling with this issue for almost three months now and it’s been a constant battle, I guess I just really need some support, so almost a year ago now, I got in a relationship and I realized I may be Asexual since I didn’t really have any sexual desires towards my partner, starting late November though, I began to have these intrusive images in my head of us having sex. These thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety and stress as well as depression. It’s weird, I know deep down in my heart I don’t desire any of that with her but the thoughts feel so real at times and sometimes that makes me feel like I want the thoughts. I’m pretty much lost at this point and don’t know if whether it is OCD or if I’m just in denial. The thing is, I don’t want to see her that way, she doesn’t want to ever engage in any sexual activity and I want to respect that and respect the decision we both made to never do so unless it’s to have a baby. I just feel a sense of doom I guess, I’m scared that I might like the thoughts when I don’t want to like them. I’d feel so much guilt if it isn’t OCD and it’s actually me, and the thought of that terrifies me. I hope every day it’s OCD.
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