So today I’ve actually been really sarcastic w my intrusive thoughts and I’ve noticed that it’s helped my mood and and I no longer feel depressed or guilty like I normally do. But now I’m scared that I shouldn’t be funny ab it and that somehow something bads gonna happen now that Idc and I’ve stopped agonizing. Does anyone know why OCD does this or how I can stop feeling like somehow I’m “ok” w being a bad person just bc I’m not scared of it like I used to be?

I’m so confused right now. I feel really calm about my intrusive thoughts and I feel calm overall. I can still get moments of feeling uneasy but overall I’m calmer. Yesterday was really difficult. Does that mean I don’t have OCD? I just don’t get this. Even today I was scared with the thought of what If I’m lying about my intrusive thoughts and my experience with OCD and I’m really just a crazy person.....and then later today when I felt calmer I was like omg what if I really don’t have OCD and I really I’m just making it up. I feel so calm right now. I’m kind of guessing maybe because I talked to my mom about my some intrusive thoughts have and have had in the past and I was worried about telling her but she understood and so I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. Is it possible to suddenly feel ok?

Today I don’t care about my ocd I’m on the upward spiral and genuinely just have been ignoring my thoughts like I could care less. This hasn’t happened in a long time. Feels weird but also good. I’m even writing this having intrusive thoughts and just letting them pass. anyone every have these days and then bam the next day it’s hard to ignore the thoughts ? i get these days every now and then and it’s a great feeling, but also feels weird bc I’m used to my brain analyzing every thought or action I do.

With my ZOCD or just my regular ocd I feel like I’m content like I still see these thoughts and don’t want to do them ever and the thought of doing the act makes me not want to live with myself if I ever did it but my brain is making me think it’s normal to just have the thought and like just move on? Like I think I’m so used to the horrible thoughts that they don’t scare me as much? But I am scared but I don’t think the thoughts are as compulsive? Again I would never act on any of my ocd compulsions, I would rather die but also I’m so used to seeing and feeling the horrible thoughts that I’m just used to it? And I’m scared this means that I’m ok with doing these horrible things and that is what is scaring me I don’t wanna do these bad things I’m scared my brain is making me confused? Please don’t judge me 🥺🙏 the ZOCD started in December I have never ever had ZOCD before and my life was normal now it’s hard for me to go back to how I used to be. But I think maybe I’m getting out of the ocd?