- Username
- getwellsoon
- Date posted
- 4y ago
God I’m so sorry to hear that :( listen, even if your sister is tired she has no right to say that to you. are you currently in any sort of therapy?
oh hi to u again!! still dealing with the current thought about my boyfriend ): and i guess she does it’s been 3 months of her hearing me like this over constant thoughts ): and sadly i can’t do therapy right now. don’t have the money for it on my own or anything and my parents don’t believe in mental health
@getwellsoon hello!! :D nice to see you again, I’m sorry to hear you’re still dealing with the thought but again remember that if it’s causing you this much guilt it’s most likely not true. ☺️ But oh no D: I’m sorry that sucks
@getwellsoon there’s some good ocd videos on YouTube if you want to check them out, one of my faves is Ocd illustrated atm
@saltedcrabs it’s just if i lose him because of this i will never forgive myself and my family makes me feel worse because when i get like this they try to shove religion down my throat. i can’t even tell them about my boyfriend because they would be against him ): it breaks my heart i never want to become like them ever
Hey.. i know it can be really hard going through a bad time with ocd.. can you try actually answering questions and try to find the roots? Try to face your fears more.. like if you are scared of losing someone that u love try answering thr thought like: Yeahhh i will kill em all.. it may look fake but its better than reacting with fear... And things will get better for you... Just dont stop trying even if u feel u are stuck in it forever... Keep pushing and reach the goal... If you want any help or have any questions i am more than happy to help you if im able too ;D stay strong ocd warrior
is reacting that way what helps you? cause that just sounds more scary to me
@getwellsoon honestly I think it’ll be good erp, it is scary at first but the more you say things like that the easier it gets
@saltedcrabs TW for this just in case but I struggle with pocd and pure ocd, and because of that I mentally wished to both be a bad person and a pedophile for erp and I did feel a bit scared at first but eventually forgot all about it. Remember that thoughts are just thoughts no matter how scary they are :-)
@saltedcrabs ngl just reading this still gives me anxiety lol but it’ll soon pass
@saltedcrabs that was my first serious theme ): it’s what caused all this. basically the starting thought. don’t know if i’m brave enough to do that ): it feels like my thoughts jump into more and more thoughts. they aren’t as intense now but they still pop up but the point is that sounds intense. you’re so strong
@getwellsoon man that’s horrible :( ocd is the worse, honestly I don’t think anyone’s ready to do erp but that’s exactly why you should do it. You don’t have to say something as intense as me this early on but just wishing for something bad in general could be a good exposure n then you can work your way up from what gives you the least anxiety to the most. That’s an exposure my therapist taught me :-) also tysm!! you are too don’t give up
@saltedcrabs also I’m sorry if I stop responding in about to head to bed in a second
@saltedcrabs i just want to get through this one ): i’ve been trying to not worry about it as much ): i don’t know if that’s making it worse or what ):
@saltedcrabs and it’s okay i completely understand
@getwellsoon Im sry if it looks scary but it truly do help... U need alot of courage to start it but its going to help for sure;
You claim your sister is the only person you can talk to freely, but it doesn’t sound like your sister wants to have that role. While she may not be going about things the right way, it sounds like she’s trying to set a boundary with you and I think it’s important to listen. She feels overwhelmed and unable to help. And that’s fair. She’s not a professional mental health care worker, and a professional is the more appropriate person for you to unload freely on. It can be quite scary, frustrating, and depressing for our support systems when we try to lean on them for things they simply aren’t capable of providing us. I’m not saying you can’t still talk with and have a close relationship with her. But it sounds like the relationship may be veering into codependency and that you’d both benefit from you adding a professional into your life who can listen to you and offer qualified advice on a regular basis. If you can’t afford to see an OCD specialist (id highly recommend at least calling a few to see if they offer a sliding scale fee option), a low cost support group would also be a better outlet. That way you’re talking to people who are also seeking treatment and you’re having those group discussions being facilitated by a professional still.
the fear of schizophrenia is absolutely so strong, I want reassurance but I know it doesn’t help. I’m having relationship thoughts, I’m looping on every single thing that goes on in my days I am so lost and I don’t want to live this way anymore. It is so hard. I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending hellacious dream and all I want to do is cry. No one around me understands, I feel like I am crazy and I’ve lost my mind. I’m so tired :/
i can’t stop having these thoughts it’s been taking over the past few days and i think i’m having an anxiety attack right now i have these thoughts “what if i don’t make this through this is like an everyday thing”, “what if i hurt myself or what if i want to do it” or it’s like “what if i go grab a knife and do something” and it scares me and it gives me anxiety and i’m scared i just want this to go away i have my thoughts telling me all of this my dad was saying to take me to the hospital if they get worse i didn’t go today because i didn’t want to but it’s 8 pm here and i think i might ask if i could go tomorrow i’m just so tired i want a therapist to talk to right now but my parents are low on money until they get paid on friday and my dad was gonna see if we go to the hospital because they can just get billed it’s like if i get reassurance nothing helps and even if i have a distraction nothing helps it’s like my thoughts continue and it makes me forget things
I've been shutting myself away lately because I'm so fu^king sick of this cycle of me turning into a g0ddamned baby and then hysterically crying for hours on end and having my family helplessly watch and not know how to help. Nobody knows how to help. I don't even know what I need. I want to give up and just stare at the wall until somebody can save me. If my brain isn't constantly distracted and numbed I'm spiraling. I switch minute to minute from being super depressed to hyper and talkative yet somehow I manage to hold it all inside. It's getting very hard to communicate/mask. Every night I feel fine. I feel scared and sad, but I feel the most normal at this time. When I wake up, it starts all over again. I wake up in panic attack mode and drag myself to work. I swear to god I can't help myself anymore. Nothing I do helps and it's too exhausting. I think I'm just gonna keep letting myself suffer because I'm so sick of trying to get help and then have it not help. I know this is just an episode but jesus christ it's so f^cking scary. I believe everything my brain tells me but I don't even know what it's telling me. All I know is there's this extreme PUSH to be flooded with extreme sadness and anxiety, and it's very REAL. I feel like I need to be locked up and studied. I truly feel alone in this condition because I genuinely believe there is no one in this world who has been having these symptoms the way I do. Four years of this, several mental health professionals, and I still don't have an answer. When will I be able to rest? Even reading this message makes me think "that's not me. where did I go?" There's not even a specific reason why i'm feeling so extremely horrible. It starts as a pure OCD attack about something and then before I know it I spend a week crying. Anyway I have work in the morning I don't know how I keep going and getting out of bed every day knowing that ending up like this is definitely a possibility. I really don't know how I'm still alive. Something is extremely wrong with me and no one seems to understand just how bad it is. What do I need to do in order to get someone to understand the severity of it all? I wish nothing but healing and peace and permanent remission for all of you tough souls ❤️
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond