Anybody with HOCD/ROCD that can relate? Sometimes when I’m around my girlfriend I get really irritable and anxious cuz I’m so in my head and I feel bad because all I want to do is be away from her in those moments when she doesn’t really understand what’s going on. I have a tendency to focus on her negative attributes and they get so loud in my head that I just can’t function around her sometimes. What can I do? I feel like I can’t escape these thoughts anywhere I go.

I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.

i am settling into what i imagine will be a long lasting relationship with one of my best friends we recently started dating about two months ago. at first my ocd didn’t bother me at all but then she started talking about being scared that she isn’t good enough for me and that im not attracted to her or one day i wont like her anymore or something and like i think it triggered my ocd because now im like hyper analyzing how i feel around her and im always so anxious and aware kf how i feel and if i feel anxious when im talking to her i’ll be like omg i feel bad when talking to my girlfriend that must mean i dont love her anymore. anyway yea its annoying, it really takes away from our time together because i never feel all there because i dont want her to know im having those thoughts because i think it would make her feel so much worse im scared she’ll think i dont like her anymore. i dont know…. let me know if you’ve also experienced this kind of rocd - WHAT HELPED???