This morning I was wiping my daughter and I felt like I saw some additional poop so I went to wipe her again but wasn’t sure if I wiped her private area and was almost scared that the poop was in the private area. Now after that I’ve been ruminating that I just did it on purpose to like touch her private area. This sounds like just a fear response or my brain doing what I hate but is this common? Trying to plan an exposure for this and cut the ruminating out.

I have not had this happen to me yet. But I think this is ocd again. Don't over analyze it. It happened. You have to let it go or it will haunt you again.

We can never solve any problem that ocd gave us anyway so let it go. It will pass with time.

I hear all of this ❤️ you didn’t hurt your babe ..but you have to believe this in your heart

Please do not say "this is normal" that is reassurance giving

Do not tell him "its just ocd" please. That is a form of giving reassurance and will only make it worse.

@Dianaaa Would you mind explaining why it is giving reassurance and making it worse? In my experience when I treat a negative thought as an ocd thought, I am able to let it come and go. If I think my thought presents a real problem then I will dwell on it for hours which make my OCD worse.

@Sunflower 1234 Because it decreases anxiety. We need to learn to accept a thought may be an ocd thought, or it may be a real thought. Accept uncertainty that it might actually be real. Labeling it as "ocd" makes our anxiety go down, makes us realize it isn't "real", thus its a compulsion. Labeling as ocd thoughts or not ocd thoughts is a mental compulsion. We need to accept the possibility it might be a real thougbt, that we might actually touch a child and really want to. That we might actually be a pedophole, that our "thoughts" might be real and not just "ocd" thoughts. Make sense?

@Dianaaa It makes sense. Thanks for the clarification.

@Dianaaa I can see why what I said might be giving assurance. You are right. We shouldn't try to identify whether thoughts that come to our mind are real thoughts or ocd thoughts. Thoughts are thoughts. They are not facts. Thoughts might mean something or they might not. What we need to focus on is how we react to them. When we react to them, we give them meaning and significance. I appreciate you sharing your knowledge. 🙂

@Sunflower 1234 No problem! And thoughts may or may not be facts. We may or may not be pedophiles, we may or may not end up doing whatever etc. Anything may or may not be anything. Its sitting with that anxiety and trying to live with it. Its so hard but it is possible after pracrice.

@Dianaaa Agreed! May or may not drives the ocd nuts. The goal is to live with uncertainty and focus on doing what adds value to our life.

@Dianaaa Curious whether you have recovered from OCD? I love hearing success stories. If so what recovery looks like to you.

@Sunflower 1234 I am in the process! I have been basically compulsion free for the past month and it has been hard but really awesome actually. It sounds weird but our compulsions are the only thing that continues our ocd cycle. If we stop doing compulsions, our anxiety is heightened but then slowly but surely fades. With ocd I believe through continuing compulsions, we become our own prisoners.

@Dianaaa I agree with you. Ocd is built entirely on compulsions. Without compulsions ocd cycles won't continue. So happy for you. I am doing less and less compulsions each day. I am hoping to eventually be compulsion free. It is so far the hardest thing I have done but so worth it.

@Sunflower 1234 I support your bravery! It is truly terrifying and soul-crushingly scary sometimes 😂 but it is worth it. Be patient and it is a process! Do u struggle with pocd mainly? I have self-harm ocd and it sucks lol. If u would like to talk abt it anytime u can add me on instagram at diana.ake.7 and we can chat!

@Dianaaa I used to have pocd and hocd but those themes don't affect me any more. My primary themes now are religious/ moral perfection and safety of my children. For example, I am worried over whether someone would post my children photos on a porn website. I might have bdd too. Not so sure on that one. I don't have instagram but I might get it to chat with you. 🙂 I like your perspectives and attitudes on how to combat ocd. Keep pressing on.

@Sunflower 1234 Im sorry to hear that. while its triggering its helpful to try and believe that even if our worst fears came true there is life after it. there will be joy again if your fears come true, even tho it seems so scary and terrible. its hard with my theme bc if mine comes true there isn't any life afterwards bc its suicide ocd 😓 but oh well i just have to accept the possibility of death and keep pressing forward? The emotion of anxiety and dread is just so strong its the hardest thing ever!

@Dianaaa That sounds like a really hard thing to accept. But I bet it LL get easier and easier the more you resist compulsions. On my good days resisting compulsions is like a game to me. Ocd keeps trying to win by throwing me scary thought and I keep telling it watch me ignore those thoughts. Good luck putting ocd in its place today.

Yes. The more you ruminate the more you LL be confused. This will pass. Just give it time. Tell OCD most likely you didn't try to harm your daughter but you don't know for sure and you are okay with that.

The more you ruminate the more sticky the thoughts and doubts become.

It can come anytime. Ocd is tricky.

The content doesn't matter. How you react to a thoughts is what matters.

Thoughts only have power when you react to them

Keep wiping your daughter bottom though. Don't let OCD win. 🙂 Most ocd thoughts do come and go. They only stay if we react to them.

I hate how horrible this disorder is. It makes you question everything and latches on to what you love the most and plays on your biggest fears. Hate it so much! And you’re right. As soon as you start to conquer more and more it shows up in weird places, in more ways.

@Freemeofocd Ocd sucks! I hate this disorder. We need to stop giving ocd thoughts our attention.

How are you doing John?

@Freemeofocd I think I’m doing good, had to the same this morning as I did yesterday. I know I did no real harm and my mind is spotlighting on things that I fear. So I have to just keep moving.

@JohnS I think a real difference between continuing compulsions (even logic can be a compulsion, or reassuring yourself you did no harm), would be, "I may have hurt her, I may not have hurt her. I may hurt her tomorrow or the next day. I will accept i dont know and it could go either way, and I will move on with my day." It feels impossible tho

@Dianaaa Totally, I’ve done this before with other stuff so this makes sense. The question on my intent or the intrusive thought as to what I was doing or why is the tough part. But I guess the maybes are the way to go?

@JohnS Hey John, how ya doin? I was too consumed with my own thing yesterday but I’ve had the exact same thing happen to me multiple times with my daughter. The wiping thing for sure. I went in for an extra wipe one time and decided to clean in her butt crack too but it was only a pee diaper so of course my ocd went rampant with that. Like why did I wipe her butt if she didn’t poop? Really went into the rabbit hole with that one for a minute. Then cleaning her in the bath, I did two swipes on her private instead of one, and was questioning why I did that? I also was taking her diaper off one time and I moved it in a weird way and questioned why I did it. It will really latch on to any and every movement I make. It’s exhausting. I try to just stop them before they even start but it’s easier said than done. I question the way I pick her up, the way I hold her. It’s so upsetting and exhausting that it attaches to the most valuable relationships in life. I’m noticing the more attention I give certain things, the more they pop up.

@Freemeofocd Things are good, still ruminating over it a bit and stuck a bit in the is this an OCD situation? So trying just to respond each time now with maybe I did maybe I didn’t. So I’m in the process and going to keep using ERP tools the next few days as well. Anxiety is fairly low most of the day