my best friend just told me that she’s mad that she’s the only one trying to make an effort to hang out and that she’s exhausted trying to be my friend. i don’t blame her, i am a shitty friend and i don’t make an effort to make time for her, sometimes i make excuses so i don’t have to hang out with her. it’s exhausting for me having to talk and carry a conversation and do things an have fun with other people, it’s demanding and whenever i have to hang out with people i have to put on a persona and act like i want to be there. sometimes it’s nice to be around people but a lot of the time i just want to leave. i’m an introvert, and i don’t think my anxiety helps. i feel so bad, she deserves better than me:/

i wouldn’t be able to tell her about what i’m going through. she wouldn’t understand and she would think i was being homophobic. she just came out as bi and i don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her uncomfortable. she would act supportive but i know she would feel hurt and judged if she knew what i was going through, and she would hate me. i wish i could tell her how i feel, but we are just totally different people. i’m an introvert, she’s an extrovert, i like my privacy, she shares everything. it’s hard for me to match her energy, and she deserves better. i’m m going to try to make more of an effort though to make plans.

@zeep Maybe don't share your OCD then. Would you feel comfortable talking about your introversion? Instead of saying "she deserves better", simply be open to her finding additional friends that can give her an extroverted outlet.

@Ben84 I wish I could find the quote. Basically, I recall it saying there's beauty in seeing our friends interact with other people because others can draw things out of them that we can't and vice-versa. Other people add something to your friend's life, but so do you ☺.

@Ben84 thank you :)

@zeep I found it! "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'" - CS Lewis

Being her friend *

i love being her friend but it takes a lot for me to be around people for a long time. i feel bad because she’s a total extrovert, isnt secretive, etc, and i’m the exact opposite. i’m having trouble finding a balance of letting myself do what i want and being a good friend to her

it’s nice to hear someone else feels this way. it’s like this for most people, i just don’t have the energy to act normal around people, i like keeping to myself, and it’s hard to act extroverted and fun around people. i’m trying to work on being better tho

@zeep knowing that abt yourself is huge. seeing those boundaries.. what you can handle, what you can’t.. is a huge step in being fair to yourself. and there will be people in your life who you won’t feel like you have to act a certain way - or they’ll make an effort to understand where you’re coming from. and it is really tough. i commend you for trying hard 🤍