zeep
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ben84Ben84
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I don't believe you're a "shitty" friend ☺. You're like me. An introvert who also has mental health issues. How comfortable are you with this person? Is she trustworthy? Perhaps you could let her in a bit on where you're coming from. Also consider that she's a young extrovert. She might not yet appreciate what benefits an introverted friend can bring. Also, don't try to live up to her plan making wise. But do try to make the effort to be the one to make plans now and then. (I know that's difficult)
zeepzeep
- Date posted
- 4y ago
i wouldn’t be able to tell her about what i’m going through. she wouldn’t understand and she would think i was being homophobic. she just came out as bi and i don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her uncomfortable. she would act supportive but i know she would feel hurt and judged if she knew what i was going through, and she would hate me. i wish i could tell her how i feel, but we are just totally different people. i’m an introvert, she’s an extrovert, i like my privacy, she shares everything. it’s hard for me to match her energy, and she deserves better. i’m m going to try to make more of an effort though to make plans.
Ben84Ben84
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@zeep Maybe don't share your OCD then. Would you feel comfortable talking about your introversion? Instead of saying "she deserves better", simply be open to her finding additional friends that can give her an extroverted outlet.
Ben84Ben84
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Ben84 I wish I could find the quote. Basically, I recall it saying there's beauty in seeing our friends interact with other people because others can draw things out of them that we can't and vice-versa. Other people add something to your friend's life, but so do you ☺.
zeepzeep
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Ben84 thank you :)
Ben84Ben84
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@zeep I found it! "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'" - CS Lewis
PaulaPaula
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I think you should be more honest with her. We are not supposed to put on a persona with our best friends. She deserves to know how you feel and maybe you will improve your relationship with her. If being get friend is what you want. Ignoring the lies anxiety tells you, do you like being her friend?
PaulaPaula
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Being her friend *
zeepzeep
- Date posted
- 4y ago
i love being her friend but it takes a lot for me to be around people for a long time. i feel bad because she’s a total extrovert, isnt secretive, etc, and i’m the exact opposite. i’m having trouble finding a balance of letting myself do what i want and being a good friend to her
pluralinespluralines
- Date posted
- 4y ago
hi zeep ! just wanted to chime in & say that this hits close to home. my best friend has a different energy level than me & it’s actually tiring to be around her sometimes. i spend time with my boyfriend more bc he’s more calming to be around. i try to make an effort to hang out with my best friend so she doesn’t feel left out, but it can still be a bit much. the way that you are feeling does not make you a shitty friend. you obviously care enough to try to find a solution to this. that makes you a worthy friend by all means. neither of you are had people or bad friends, you just seem to have different needs. and you’re allowed to make the decision for yourself if meeting her needs in the friendship is what you want to do. it’s your choice 🤍
zeepzeep
- Date posted
- 4y ago
it’s nice to hear someone else feels this way. it’s like this for most people, i just don’t have the energy to act normal around people, i like keeping to myself, and it’s hard to act extroverted and fun around people. i’m trying to work on being better tho
pluralinespluralines
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@zeep knowing that abt yourself is huge. seeing those boundaries.. what you can handle, what you can’t.. is a huge step in being fair to yourself. and there will be people in your life who you won’t feel like you have to act a certain way - or they’ll make an effort to understand where you’re coming from. and it is really tough. i commend you for trying hard 🤍
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