- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't believe you're a "shitty" friend ☺. You're like me. An introvert who also has mental health issues. How comfortable are you with this person? Is she trustworthy? Perhaps you could let her in a bit on where you're coming from. Also consider that she's a young extrovert. She might not yet appreciate what benefits an introverted friend can bring. Also, don't try to live up to her plan making wise. But do try to make the effort to be the one to make plans now and then. (I know that's difficult)
- Date posted
- 4y
i wouldn’t be able to tell her about what i’m going through. she wouldn’t understand and she would think i was being homophobic. she just came out as bi and i don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her uncomfortable. she would act supportive but i know she would feel hurt and judged if she knew what i was going through, and she would hate me. i wish i could tell her how i feel, but we are just totally different people. i’m an introvert, she’s an extrovert, i like my privacy, she shares everything. it’s hard for me to match her energy, and she deserves better. i’m m going to try to make more of an effort though to make plans.
- Date posted
- 4y
@zeep Maybe don't share your OCD then. Would you feel comfortable talking about your introversion? Instead of saying "she deserves better", simply be open to her finding additional friends that can give her an extroverted outlet.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ben84 I wish I could find the quote. Basically, I recall it saying there's beauty in seeing our friends interact with other people because others can draw things out of them that we can't and vice-versa. Other people add something to your friend's life, but so do you ☺.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ben84 thank you :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@zeep I found it! "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'" - CS Lewis
- Date posted
- 4y
I think you should be more honest with her. We are not supposed to put on a persona with our best friends. She deserves to know how you feel and maybe you will improve your relationship with her. If being get friend is what you want. Ignoring the lies anxiety tells you, do you like being her friend?
- Date posted
- 4y
Being her friend *
- Date posted
- 4y
i love being her friend but it takes a lot for me to be around people for a long time. i feel bad because she’s a total extrovert, isnt secretive, etc, and i’m the exact opposite. i’m having trouble finding a balance of letting myself do what i want and being a good friend to her
- Date posted
- 4y
hi zeep ! just wanted to chime in & say that this hits close to home. my best friend has a different energy level than me & it’s actually tiring to be around her sometimes. i spend time with my boyfriend more bc he’s more calming to be around. i try to make an effort to hang out with my best friend so she doesn’t feel left out, but it can still be a bit much. the way that you are feeling does not make you a shitty friend. you obviously care enough to try to find a solution to this. that makes you a worthy friend by all means. neither of you are had people or bad friends, you just seem to have different needs. and you’re allowed to make the decision for yourself if meeting her needs in the friendship is what you want to do. it’s your choice 🤍
- Date posted
- 4y
it’s nice to hear someone else feels this way. it’s like this for most people, i just don’t have the energy to act normal around people, i like keeping to myself, and it’s hard to act extroverted and fun around people. i’m trying to work on being better tho
- Date posted
- 4y
@zeep knowing that abt yourself is huge. seeing those boundaries.. what you can handle, what you can’t.. is a huge step in being fair to yourself. and there will be people in your life who you won’t feel like you have to act a certain way - or they’ll make an effort to understand where you’re coming from. and it is really tough. i commend you for trying hard 🤍
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
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- Date posted
- 21w
He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy … but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.
- Date posted
- 17w
Honestly I’ve never felt like the worst person ever , all my life I’ve always struggle with fitting in and making a good friend group, and I always think I don’t do enough for anybody and sometimes when I feel like somebody is becoming cold or distant I make sure to keep a distant too out of respect or a mechanism to help me not feel hurt , as a result a friend of mine did this and I stayed away because I had no idea what she was going through and my other friend who I’ve met at the beginning of the year I’ve never had a good feeling abt her because I noticed her starting to be really flirty with my boyfriend and when I tried talking to somebody about it , she twisted the entire situation to her assuming I was sl*t shaming her, which I’d never do that is not in my dictionary , so when I arrived to school everyone said she was saying really bad things about me and what’s worse is that she did this two months ago and I found out last week I cried to all of them about it and they ignored me they all laughed and just left me there to cry , I tried talking to my friend who slowly grew distant instead I noticed her getting closer to the friend who wronged me . I noticed all my friends growing a distant , I slowly felt like I failed as friend and then I slowly starting convincing myself i was a failure in general , so as a result, I turned to marijuana and cough medicine, and multiple dealers reach out weekly so I can buy more stuff , and what’s worse is that I know these people are not good friends but I still let them get to my head and on top of that I resort to substance abuse to help with my overthinking and anxiety , I need advice
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