- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't believe you're a "shitty" friend ☺. You're like me. An introvert who also has mental health issues. How comfortable are you with this person? Is she trustworthy? Perhaps you could let her in a bit on where you're coming from. Also consider that she's a young extrovert. She might not yet appreciate what benefits an introverted friend can bring. Also, don't try to live up to her plan making wise. But do try to make the effort to be the one to make plans now and then. (I know that's difficult)
- Date posted
- 4y
i wouldn’t be able to tell her about what i’m going through. she wouldn’t understand and she would think i was being homophobic. she just came out as bi and i don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her uncomfortable. she would act supportive but i know she would feel hurt and judged if she knew what i was going through, and she would hate me. i wish i could tell her how i feel, but we are just totally different people. i’m an introvert, she’s an extrovert, i like my privacy, she shares everything. it’s hard for me to match her energy, and she deserves better. i’m m going to try to make more of an effort though to make plans.
- Date posted
- 4y
@zeep Maybe don't share your OCD then. Would you feel comfortable talking about your introversion? Instead of saying "she deserves better", simply be open to her finding additional friends that can give her an extroverted outlet.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ben84 I wish I could find the quote. Basically, I recall it saying there's beauty in seeing our friends interact with other people because others can draw things out of them that we can't and vice-versa. Other people add something to your friend's life, but so do you ☺.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ben84 thank you :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@zeep I found it! "In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves.' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'" - CS Lewis
- Date posted
- 4y
I think you should be more honest with her. We are not supposed to put on a persona with our best friends. She deserves to know how you feel and maybe you will improve your relationship with her. If being get friend is what you want. Ignoring the lies anxiety tells you, do you like being her friend?
- Date posted
- 4y
Being her friend *
- Date posted
- 4y
i love being her friend but it takes a lot for me to be around people for a long time. i feel bad because she’s a total extrovert, isnt secretive, etc, and i’m the exact opposite. i’m having trouble finding a balance of letting myself do what i want and being a good friend to her
- Date posted
- 4y
hi zeep ! just wanted to chime in & say that this hits close to home. my best friend has a different energy level than me & it’s actually tiring to be around her sometimes. i spend time with my boyfriend more bc he’s more calming to be around. i try to make an effort to hang out with my best friend so she doesn’t feel left out, but it can still be a bit much. the way that you are feeling does not make you a shitty friend. you obviously care enough to try to find a solution to this. that makes you a worthy friend by all means. neither of you are had people or bad friends, you just seem to have different needs. and you’re allowed to make the decision for yourself if meeting her needs in the friendship is what you want to do. it’s your choice 🤍
- Date posted
- 4y
it’s nice to hear someone else feels this way. it’s like this for most people, i just don’t have the energy to act normal around people, i like keeping to myself, and it’s hard to act extroverted and fun around people. i’m trying to work on being better tho
- Date posted
- 4y
@zeep knowing that abt yourself is huge. seeing those boundaries.. what you can handle, what you can’t.. is a huge step in being fair to yourself. and there will be people in your life who you won’t feel like you have to act a certain way - or they’ll make an effort to understand where you’re coming from. and it is really tough. i commend you for trying hard 🤍
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.
- Date posted
- 16w
i feel like i hate my friend and that i want to stop being friends with her. it feels like i desire it or get relief when i think about unfriending everyone. it makes me feel awful because this came out of nowhere and i have no reasoning for this because they’re all really nice to me. there’s not any red flags or anything. it feels like i want to send a message ending the friendships i have and i don’t know what to do.. everytime i talk to them now i get reminded of all of this and feel so guilty. i don’t even know if this is ocd or not because i haven’t even been diagnosed. idk what to do :( it hurts even more because when i think about if i would regret it, i don’t think i would..
- Date posted
- 14w
I look back at various past events in my life where I said or did things that I feel really guilty, disgusted, and ashamed about. I replay them in my head for hours. I feel anxious about crossing paths with people that I've hurt or upset in the past or who perceive me badly, to the point that I will avoid going out in public as much as possible. I go out for work, errands, appointments, and occasionally to eat (even though those all give me a lot of anxiety), but I avoid community events where people might recognize me and I tend to isolate myself. The only people I see regularly are my boyfriend, my parents, and my coworkers. I live in a small community and I'm worried about people confronting me publicly and proving what a bad person I must be.
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