So I am a married woman to my wonderful husband m. I deal w it h HOCD and ROCD & a bucket list of other things. I will randomly start to worry and wonder “oh god what if I’m gay?” “Am I gay?” And so on and so forth. I have been doing therapy and I don’t have many images any more. But I still get these stupid intrusive thoughts. I feel like such a shi$&y wife because I can sit here and tell you 100% I’m not gay at any point. But it’s like a fear or doubt that I could be in denial. I was raised with a strict upbringing and my sister is gay. The 1st time I had these thoughts was 3 years ago right after we got engaged and I could have ripped my heart out I felt so horrible. I feel that if you were in denial then you would know. Mine is I’ll be looking out a window and it’s like a bomb explodes in my brain. Anyone else deal with this? Also my OCD has started to pick on me about having a baby. My husband and I have been married 2 years and together for 5. “How do you know that you’re ready? What if you can’t have kids? What if you do have kids and it dies? What if it pulls you and him apart?” I mean OCD you’re a real SOB.

I struggle with this too. Right before my first relationship, HOCD hit me. I was so worried I wouldn’t like how sex felt, I worried I was lying about being attracted emotionally. We broke up two years ago and now I am scared I will never find anyone or being attracted again. I also obsessively look through my past for signs I was gay. And it scares me bc I have watched lesbian porn and been aroused but never questioned my sexuality bc of it until these obsessions began, I also am worried I had crushes to the same sex that I am in denial about and that the real crushes I had were fake. Ugh it’s so stressful

I know how you feel. I’m a married man to my amazing wife. We got married in March of this year. Have been in therapy since July after having an episode in late June where it felt as if I wasn’t going to make it and we weren’t going to make it. I’d been in a better state of mind in recovery for the last couple weeks. However, last Thursday and Friday sucked in terms of OCD. Today also sucked. However, I was just reminded of the character trait of perseverance that Navy Seals (Soldiers) focus on in their training. They are taught to “embrace the suck”. Basically those who have made it successfully through the training are those who learned to keep fighting and moving forward in the face of pain. OCD sucks and is painful. ERP sucks and is painful. But it’ll be worth it if we don’t quit and keep going, despite the lies and BS that OCD tells us.

Logic : 1. if you were gay you wouldn't develope the attraction to opposite sex emotionaly and sexualy , 2. If you were gay you wouldn't have homosexual hocd , 3. The anxiety and thinking that you are in denial is prety common on hocd

Well, we are all in the same boat and we can all do this. While we don’t need reassurance because we kiss butt and will tell OCD who is in control. Let’s all sit in the pain and learn! Thank you everyone!

In a similar boat happily married and ocd attacks my relationship not with the same thoughts but I always fear what if I cheated or what if he’s not the one etc etc. my relationship ocd has improved over the years as I realized that it’s ocd and it’s ocd ocd ocd ocd. That helps. Ocd has attacked me wanting to have a baby too, That one I still struggle with.