Hey everyone. Need some advise. My bf told me that he thinks I use my OCD as an excuse to get out of things. Like riding his four wheeler through the mud and watching horror movies. I am terrified of catching some sort of infection from the muddy water surrounding his property and the images from horror movies fuel my religious ocd and also make their way into my intrusive thoughts. Any suggestions on what to say to him to explain how I’m feeling? We have been together forever and I really want him to understand so we can work together to lesson my fears. Thanks :)

So for as long as I’ve been alive I’ve loved horror/ thriller movies and books. I really only enjoy reading thriller books. Since my harm ocd hit I have slowly started back reading thriller again, but I have to check for triggers before each one I read. There’s been a few books that I was really loving that I had to stop reading because something that would trigger my ocd would come up ( my theme is going crazy becoming dangerous , schizophrenia etc ) so if a character in a book starts hearing voices or something, I get so anxious. I want to be able to read and watch horror / thrillers again. Do I simply need to just continue reading / watching and sit with the anxiety?

Recently i got stuck in a loop with a terrible intrusive thought about my boyfriend. it’s been rattling in my mind and i feel disgusted and scared and like an evil horrible person. i keep saying things like “intrusive thoughts attack who/what you care about the most” but i think my compulsion (researching; looking up ocd intrusive thoughts and watching others experiencing the same thing) had made it hard to believe that. Im not super concerned about the harm portion because im beating it but now its turned me numb towards my boyfriend after feeling so guilty and scared and everything. i just don’t know what to do its like my body and brain is trying to push me away. we also spend every single day together so im wondering if maybe thats why its so bad? like i feel AWFUL. and i cant stop crying and i havent told him any of this because i don’t want to scare him or make him think im crazy. any tips or words would be appreciated.

I’ve always struggled a lot with confessing. It’s my worst compulsion. My bf has always been really understanding and can usually see the OCD in it more than I can. He’s always grounded me and helped me see the distortion or the OCD. Lately it hasn’t been that way, he takes my confessions out of the context of the OCD. Takes offense. Gets upset, and angry. He’ll say things like “Who says something like that? Why would you say that?” I can’t ask him not to react, that’s not fair, but I’m feeling like a monster is this is only making me want to confess more because every time I do I get a terrible reaction from him and it feels like it just confirms whatever it was was awful. It doesn’t feel like I’m overthinking or getting stuck on a technical truth or just having ocd distort something. It feels like I’m truly a monster. I can’t even defend myself because I can’t tell if it’s really OCD or just me having a bad thought I agree with. I feel scared. He’s never reacted badly like this and it’s happened multiple times now. I know it’s not fair to keep confessing but I’m genuinely struggling and scared. I don’t know what to do, I can’t just write it down or something. That makes it more real. Materializing the confession makes me more likely to confess.