So ive told my gf about what im going through. I think she thinks im just gay. She said how do i know your not going to do a philip scohfield on me. And i got this sense of dread

You may want to share some external resources with her rather than discussing your particular intrusive thoughts and compulsions. https://ocdla.com/sexual-orientation-hocd-gay-ocd-treatment-1969/

Does it make you think you like pussy ?. I actually think of attractive men and images of them will pop up in my head with no top on or just in a pair of pants showing there bulge 😞

It’s difficult for people not going through this, to understand. You need a therapist to speak with.

Ive had 2 sessions of cbt

Are you from the uk ??

Having someone to talk to is also very important. A LOT of the times the people around us really don’t understand this obsession. It was similar to when someone would tell me they had anxiety about something and I would reply with “well, calm down” It’s natural for people to just look at something straight on without understanding the inner workings of a condition. People who are trained in mental health properly, know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Use them.

Is it hocd you have ?

Can you tell me a bit about what you go through ?

Sure. I have had HOCD aggressively for about a few months now but I beleive I had some form of cognitive dissonance to homosexuality a while back prior to full blown HOCD. It started off with the constant 24 hour doubt, almost to the extend I would want to throw up. I grew up sort of a tomboy but was always attracted to males. During my breakup with my current boyfriend, I found myself so self conscious of how I act “ if I was too masculine, and men would never really want to be with me”. If “ the person that I thought I was, was no longer who I really was. If my whole life had to change now because I’m now gay or I have been the whole time and just wasn’t able to know it. “ I also had very low self/esteem at the time. I started to study the same sex more than the opposite sex quite a bit. I got very anxious and nervous around pretty girls and it made me feel like every girl I saw that was pretty, I was attracted to. I felt trapped and kind of disgusted. I started to read books and listen to podcasts that explained exactly how I felt. I didn’t feel so alone. I started to understand my mind a bit better and now I’m in the process of digging really deep into these fears with a therapist. I am in the process of re-training my mind. Nowadays, I am not questioning my sexuality as much. It used to be about 4-5 times a day now it’s about once every two days. I still get anxious around beautiful women but now I don’t tie the anxiety to anything in specific. I allow it to pass.

Yeah but i dont want the thoughts to be there. My loss of attraction for girls is scary i just feel like it is being replaced by men

Helpfulheart. Did you say gay stuff in your head ?

Yeah do you think that makes me gay ?

Yeah i know. Its loss of attraction to women aswel i used to love women but the desire has gone and its killing me