- Username
- Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You may want to share some external resources with her rather than discussing your particular intrusive thoughts and compulsions. https://ocdla.com/sexual-orientation-hocd-gay-ocd-treatment-1969/
Does it make you think you like pussy ?. I actually think of attractive men and images of them will pop up in my head with no top on or just in a pair of pants showing there bulge đ
You will be okay. Intrusive thoughts are just that, intrusive. Itâs not about the thought itself. It is about the relationship you have with them. Itâs about the meaning you attach to them. Itâs okay to think guys and girls are hot.
Itâs difficult for people not going through this, to understand. You need a therapist to speak with.
Ive had 2 sessions of cbt
Are you from the uk ??
Having someone to talk to is also very important. A LOT of the times the people around us really donât understand this obsession. It was similar to when someone would tell me they had anxiety about something and I would reply with âwell, calm downâ Itâs natural for people to just look at something straight on without understanding the inner workings of a condition. People who are trained in mental health properly, know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Use them.
Is it hocd you have ?
Yes it is. I am from Canada.
Can you tell me a bit about what you go through ?
Sure. I have had HOCD aggressively for about a few months now but I beleive I had some form of cognitive dissonance to homosexuality a while back prior to full blown HOCD. It started off with the constant 24 hour doubt, almost to the extend I would want to throw up. I grew up sort of a tomboy but was always attracted to males. During my breakup with my current boyfriend, I found myself so self conscious of how I act â if I was too masculine, and men would never really want to be with meâ. If â the person that I thought I was, was no longer who I really was. If my whole life had to change now because Iâm now gay or I have been the whole time and just wasnât able to know it. â I also had very low self/esteem at the time. I started to study the same sex more than the opposite sex quite a bit. I got very anxious and nervous around pretty girls and it made me feel like every girl I saw that was pretty, I was attracted to. I felt trapped and kind of disgusted. I started to read books and listen to podcasts that explained exactly how I felt. I didnât feel so alone. I started to understand my mind a bit better and now Iâm in the process of digging really deep into these fears with a therapist. I am in the process of re-training my mind. Nowadays, I am not questioning my sexuality as much. It used to be about 4-5 times a day now itâs about once every two days. I still get anxious around beautiful women but now I donât tie the anxiety to anything in specific. I allow it to pass.
Yeah but i dont want the thoughts to be there. My loss of attraction for girls is scary i just feel like it is being replaced by men
Helpfulheart. Did you say gay stuff in your head ?
Yup, totally random things. That made me feel really bad. Thinking that a guy is hot is not a bad thoughtâ itâs thinking that thinking that makes you gay is what is really messing with you. Be patient with yourself
Yeah do you think that makes me gay ?
This is reassurance seeking and it will only drive your obsession further
Yeah i know. Its loss of attraction to women aswel i used to love women but the desire has gone and its killing me
Stop seeking reassurance in any of these things. No answer will ever be enough.
So I've been told that the difference between hocd and being gay is that when you are gay your only fear is with regards to how your family and friends will react to this. But me on the other hand, I've caught myself a couple of times thinking that if I were gay, I would dissapoint my family and I would get treated badly. Please tell me I'm not the only one
Okay so having a lil anxiety attack right now because the thought of being gay aint scaring me anymore and now i feel like i truuuly am gay and like i have to come out to my parents and like im pressured by myself and not accepting myself and it feels just too real and idkkk its crazy how i can go from okay to this stage again. I feel like i try not to fall in love with woman and im holding myself back but if i truly was gay wouldnt it just liked the same sex earlier in my life. Like it just happens right? So ive never had that but i feel like im blocking myself from likjng woman but jve never liked them in my whole life so idk what im tryna convince myself. I cant lie, This generation is rlly hard on me when it comes to my hocd. Evergwhere around me people are comjng out and it makes it look like being gay is a huge posibility and that i could easily be gay when u look at how many people are gay. That it wouldnt be a weird case like so many girls are lesbian why wouldnt i be. What would make me straight and them gay? The thing is all these questjoms once were never in my head and all the answers were so clear i didnt even had to ask the questions to myself. But why do i now? Makes me feel like im gay because straight ppl would never ask themselves these questions...
My mind keeps telling me to tell my gf im bi đ. Anyone gone through a similar thing ?
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