- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You may want to share some external resources with her rather than discussing your particular intrusive thoughts and compulsions. https://ocdla.com/sexual-orientation-hocd-gay-ocd-treatment-1969/
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Does it make you think you like pussy ?. I actually think of attractive men and images of them will pop up in my head with no top on or just in a pair of pants showing there bulge š
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You will be okay. Intrusive thoughts are just that, intrusive. Itās not about the thought itself. It is about the relationship you have with them. Itās about the meaning you attach to them. Itās okay to think guys and girls are hot.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Itās difficult for people not going through this, to understand. You need a therapist to speak with.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ive had 2 sessions of cbt
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Are you from the uk ??
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Having someone to talk to is also very important. A LOT of the times the people around us really donāt understand this obsession. It was similar to when someone would tell me they had anxiety about something and I would reply with āwell, calm downā Itās natural for people to just look at something straight on without understanding the inner workings of a condition. People who are trained in mental health properly, know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Use them.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Is it hocd you have ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes it is. I am from Canada.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Can you tell me a bit about what you go through ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sure. I have had HOCD aggressively for about a few months now but I beleive I had some form of cognitive dissonance to homosexuality a while back prior to full blown HOCD. It started off with the constant 24 hour doubt, almost to the extend I would want to throw up. I grew up sort of a tomboy but was always attracted to males. During my breakup with my current boyfriend, I found myself so self conscious of how I act ā if I was too masculine, and men would never really want to be with meā. If ā the person that I thought I was, was no longer who I really was. If my whole life had to change now because Iām now gay or I have been the whole time and just wasnāt able to know it. ā I also had very low self/esteem at the time. I started to study the same sex more than the opposite sex quite a bit. I got very anxious and nervous around pretty girls and it made me feel like every girl I saw that was pretty, I was attracted to. I felt trapped and kind of disgusted. I started to read books and listen to podcasts that explained exactly how I felt. I didnāt feel so alone. I started to understand my mind a bit better and now Iām in the process of digging really deep into these fears with a therapist. I am in the process of re-training my mind. Nowadays, I am not questioning my sexuality as much. It used to be about 4-5 times a day now itās about once every two days. I still get anxious around beautiful women but now I donāt tie the anxiety to anything in specific. I allow it to pass.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah but i dont want the thoughts to be there. My loss of attraction for girls is scary i just feel like it is being replaced by men
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Helpfulheart. Did you say gay stuff in your head ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yup, totally random things. That made me feel really bad. Thinking that a guy is hot is not a bad thoughtā itās thinking that thinking that makes you gay is what is really messing with you. Be patient with yourself
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah do you think that makes me gay ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
This is reassurance seeking and it will only drive your obsession further
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah i know. Its loss of attraction to women aswel i used to love women but the desire has gone and its killing me
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Stop seeking reassurance in any of these things. No answer will ever be enough.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Does anyone else with SO-OCD struggle with imagining a future partner and checking feelings? Thatās been my biggest compulsion, and now I feel like I donāt want to end up with a man someday, or that if I do Iāll feel sad or lonely. Iām also sitting here imagining being with women and I canāt tell if I like the sexual thoughts or not anymore, or if my negative reactions mean anything. My face scrunches and I feel anxious and my temperature rises. Iāve been off this app for a couple weeks but still feeling anxiety pretty steadily. I keep imagining the future and getting this feeling and voice that Iām gay and I need to come out to everyone. Itās distressing and I donāt feel like myself anymore
- Date posted
- 15w ago
I went to a therapist, I told her about the doubts I was having related to my orientation and the continuous compulsion to check again and again and the thoughts. I told her about my resources -podcasts by Ali Greymond, Chrissie Hodges 's videos, and the books I read to overcome and control myself. She said a couple of things that confused me: 1> Her daughter once asked her "what if she liked girls?" As a mom my therapist said, "Start exploring", and the daughter said naahh. I wonder if the daughter had a thought or was it a chain of intrusive thoughts that plagued her day and night like in my case. 2> She said my sources are right, but I should forget that and not think that I have ocd. 3> She also said if there is any chance I am straight, I should walk on that path- because she has seen lesbians and gays have no feelings for the opposite sex. She said she could see that I was not gay or lesbian in any way. 4> She was interested in my education and masters degrees wasted a lot of time talking about that. 5> She said all these thoughts are causing me anxiety disorders (but I don't have ocd, doc?) 6> She pointed out that being happy and in the present removes these thoughts totally but I am causing myself unnecessary distress. I was doing well before this talk with the therapist now I am triggered a bit. Please share your thoughts.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that Iām bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but thatās cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who havenāt spoken in a few years now and Iām over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh thatās life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now Iām mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, Iāve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now Iām just slightly nauseous and worried that I donāt like men as much as I like women but I think thatās normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldnāt even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now Iām nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and itās always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if itās a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? Iām nervous now. I was doing half decently today now Iām nauseous again. Iām worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I donāt like the ones my bf and I have and that I just donāt like him or men cuz Iāve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk whatās wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesnāt erase that I love my bf. Iām worried Iām leaning too much towards women tho and Iām a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if Iām just a lesbian entirely cuz I donāt feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe thatās cuz Iām checking and comparing. Now Iām anxious fuck. Iām trying not to think about her idk why. Iām worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. Sheās in my city. I didnāt care before but now I do. Or if I think about her Iāll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasnāt felt right lately cuz Iāve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasnāt obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didnāt feel passionate. It didnāt feel uncomfortable but I thought itād be more? Idk. I know itās normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isnāt very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didnāt feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but weāve been having sex since august so thatās normal. Idk. I havenāt been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that Iām bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I donāt want to rn cuz Iām dating a man. And I canāt fantasize about sex with him cuz Iām getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz itās been a while but Iām not going to. Iāve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when Iām mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying āOo you think all these women are so hot youāre gonna go feral blah blah blahā and yes women are hot but I donāt wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesnāt bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying Iām a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know itās not true. I love him I know that. Iād be happy if we stayed together. I wouldnāt regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if itās not like porn or the movies. As long as Iām being pleasured and heās being pleasured weāre good. Thatās what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I donāt feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore Iām gay. No I just donāt feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond