- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I had harm OCD for over a decade. Spectacularly, every friend and loved one has survived. I’m not sure how! I’ve thought of everything you can think of. Tossing kids in microwaves. Mass shootings where I’m the shooter. Rape. Being a serial killer. If it’s deprived and morally repugnant, it’s bounced around my gray matter a time or two. What I can say is ERP is profoundly helpful. Life-changing, really. I can enjoy things I used to (like true crime documentaries, cooking with knives, being alone with my kids without being terrified). I never would’ve thought it’s possible, but it is. I hardly ever have any harm thoughts. If you’re not in treatment, get started!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You give me hope!
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Did you ever feel numb to your intrusive thoughts ? That feeling is enough to convince me or make me doubt if I would actually ever act on. Deep down I feel like I might one day act on it and I’m destined for which makes me super depressed. Is this common? Am I crazy?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I had this struggle with harm ocd as well. The best way I could describe it is that I was so fearful of watching the Joker movie. He goes crazy and gets violent. That was my biggest fear and my harm ocd latched onto that a lot. The best thing you can do is do some erp and don’t fight the thoughts. Trust me. You will want to fight the thoughts, but doing so tells your brain there is something to fight. It is just ocd. Don’t pay any attention to it. Seriously. Oh so you want to kill a hamster? Ok. Oh well, it’s just OCD being silly. Ocd, you’re crazy you know that? Now move on with your day. I highly recommend you listen to Ali Greymond and her podcast “OCD help” or YouTube some ocd videos.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sorry if that triggered you.. in reality, you should expose yourself to healthy triggers. One by one it will become easier to ignore the thoughts
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@boilerup It didn’t trigger me your good! I want to fight them so bad because they’re so annoying. I’m just so sick of this
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m with you. I hear you!! I have the same “I don’t want to do that” impulse!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Hi everyone. I’m going through it at the moment. Any advice would be appreciated. I posted this before, but I really need to vent about this again. Feeling really anxious. I would just like to hear more opinions and advice please. So my main theme of OCD is harm related, especially towards my mom. I live with my mom and I love her dearly, and she loves me as well. We’re best friends and have been close my whole life. I was diagnosed with ocd and generalized anxiety disorder at 15 years old, and I’m 32 now. Got back into therapy this year due to flare up of my ocd. Back in July I had the thought “what if my mom wants to hurt me?” Which led to thoughts that she is going to hurt me in my sleep or plotting against me. Also just other crazy thoughts like what if she’s secretly a killer or something. My mom is one of the kindest people I know, gentle and polite to everyone she meets so to have these kinds of thoughts just seems too bizarre for ocd. They seem almost delusions. There were also urged to like barricade my door at night so she couldn’t get in, which I never did of course but the thought to even do that and feeling like I wanted to freaked me out. I even had the thought like “maybe I should report her to the police.” It just sounds crazy deep down, but those thoughts and fears feel so real at times. It just seems to lead to more paranoid type thoughts and it freaks me out. Fast forward and the thoughts went away, but the past two weeks or so they came back and I have been thinking them on and off. They give me anxiety, which then makes me think I believe them. Like if I’m scared of the thoughts, that means I believe them. I wonder a lot if I really believe them or not. I know I truly don’t deep down, I never once thought like this before, but the feelings and doubt make it feel real. I have told all of this to my mom and she understands me, but I feel guilt and shame as well to have these thoughts. I want to get back into seeing a psychiatrist again since it has been 15 years without any adjustments to my medication, but ai’m terrified of seeing someone new and then diagnosing me with schizophrenia or think I’m experiencing psychosis due to how delusional these thoughts sound. I’m scared to be misdiagnosed, even though I have always just been diagnosed with ocd. But maybe I have changed… I hate these thoughts and I just worry they’re too bizarre for ocd. If this isn’t something else. I’m scared ERP won’t help with this or that it will make it worse, prolonging me from getting different help that I may need instead. Thank you for reading all of this.
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Is this ocd? I Have a thought or think something f harmful that I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts about - and get a feeling like I want/like it or it would give me relief??? Please tell me that will eventually go away and I’ll get my real feelings back??? Or have I just turned into those things? Sometimes things that make me upset it even feels like I’ll do them just so I can be upset about them.
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
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