- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I had harm OCD for over a decade. Spectacularly, every friend and loved one has survived. I’m not sure how! I’ve thought of everything you can think of. Tossing kids in microwaves. Mass shootings where I’m the shooter. Rape. Being a serial killer. If it’s deprived and morally repugnant, it’s bounced around my gray matter a time or two. What I can say is ERP is profoundly helpful. Life-changing, really. I can enjoy things I used to (like true crime documentaries, cooking with knives, being alone with my kids without being terrified). I never would’ve thought it’s possible, but it is. I hardly ever have any harm thoughts. If you’re not in treatment, get started!
- Date posted
- 4y
You give me hope!
- Date posted
- 3y
Did you ever feel numb to your intrusive thoughts ? That feeling is enough to convince me or make me doubt if I would actually ever act on. Deep down I feel like I might one day act on it and I’m destined for which makes me super depressed. Is this common? Am I crazy?
- Date posted
- 4y
I had this struggle with harm ocd as well. The best way I could describe it is that I was so fearful of watching the Joker movie. He goes crazy and gets violent. That was my biggest fear and my harm ocd latched onto that a lot. The best thing you can do is do some erp and don’t fight the thoughts. Trust me. You will want to fight the thoughts, but doing so tells your brain there is something to fight. It is just ocd. Don’t pay any attention to it. Seriously. Oh so you want to kill a hamster? Ok. Oh well, it’s just OCD being silly. Ocd, you’re crazy you know that? Now move on with your day. I highly recommend you listen to Ali Greymond and her podcast “OCD help” or YouTube some ocd videos.
- Date posted
- 4y
Sorry if that triggered you.. in reality, you should expose yourself to healthy triggers. One by one it will become easier to ignore the thoughts
- Date posted
- 4y
@boilerup It didn’t trigger me your good! I want to fight them so bad because they’re so annoying. I’m just so sick of this
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m with you. I hear you!! I have the same “I don’t want to do that” impulse!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
i have been diagnosed with OCD & generalized anxiety disorder. for some reason, i’ve been very hyper aware of everything. like the way i talk, the way i see the world, how certain things sound/look/feel, and it’s very distressing. i feel like the hyper awareness makes me afraid of things? like for some reason, my mind attached to cartoons, and i was hyperfocusing on it, and got extremely scared, like scared of the cartoon for no reason? i’ve done this a lot, and i get scared i have psychosis or schizophrenia, or something that makes you afraid of things for no unknown reason. i feel so scared that this is my new normal…. im heartbroken. so many what if’s. did i just ruin my own life?? 💔
- Date posted
- 22w
That's what OCD feels like. Especially the constant questioning and doubt and the more you do it, the more you doubt yourself and it ends up leaving you open for other 'attacks'. I left the house today with my mom to run errands and things were fine, like my intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me that much in the beginning though they're constant in the background. Then when we stopped to get a drink from this store before leaving, I got more anxious because there were lots of kids around (it's afternoon here and i guess school was coming out). Kids were walking around in school uniform and I just told myself to keep looking away because i knew that my intrusive thoughts were going to flare up. Obviously that just made it worse and I just wanted to run away and crawl into a hole or something. Then a few minutes passed and then my brain said what if you were leering at the kids or looking at them inappropriately. And then my brain kept telling me that I wanted to or must have filmed one of them even though it's not something I want to do and know deep down that I didn't do it and don't want to. Ever. I just felt so disgusted with myself, I had to stop myself from crying on the way home. I hate this disease and I hate that its made its home in my head.
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- Date posted
- 17w
i’m trying to not let the thoughts bother me but it’s just so stressful. even me typing that feels like i’m lying when i know i’m not. i’m scared because even my therapist tells me that it’s just ocd, but in the back of my mind i slightly don’t believe her, and its making me scared that i AM like those people and im gonna act on something. sometimes in social moments i get a quick thought of me being an outcast because im like those people who are sick in the head and act on that stuff, and it just makes me feel like i truly am gonna eventually act on something. another thing that bothered me is earlier my mom yelled at me for not doing school work (it was well deserved im really slacking on it) and i had like no reaction to her screaming. it had me thinking what if i have no empathy etc etc, and what if i get mad that she yelled at me and i do something involving those thoughts. how do i TRULY know it’s ocd? like i try to remind myself and be like “dude, your therapist said it’s ocd, she isn’t wrong” but the back of my mind is like “she is wrong, it’s not ocd and she just happened to misdiagnose you. you are gonna act on those thoughts and it’s your fate”. please someone respond if you read all of this, im really struggling
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