CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ANSWER When I was younger (like 17/18) I met a girl who went to the same school as me and lived in the same town. She was younger than me. (like 14). I was so stupid to talk to her and become friends with her. I thought she was cute and all. She also liked me (which was very wrong) and right now (a couple years later) I'm ruminating on it. I have the fear of becoming a pedophile and I'm so scared this means that I become one. I used to chat with her, and one time when I drank too much, I told her that she was pretty and stuff. I've so much guilt around it and I feel so freaking bad. Is it normal if I liked a girl around her age that time? I'm so scared because of this, I'll have to go to jail??! I NEVER intended on more than that, she was just cute and nothing more.

"Pure" OCD

Moester96

Date posted: 4y

Dude you do realize your body reactions are also part of OCD. I know what you’re talking about I went through this. Listen maybe you do find the girl attractive and that’s fine. But OCD is trying to take advantage of that to drive you crazy. Take this from someone who’s been in your situation. Ignore those thoughts and stop letting them bother you. The fact that you’re describing how disgusting those thoughts are. Shows that they really do bother you. When you have the thought about the girl just admit that you find her attractive and literally just say so what. Whatever is going through your mind you have to be indifferent towards it.

cbradbets

Date posted: 4y

I don't believe it makes you some gross predator. You were attracted to her 2 years ago and it was appropriate then. It's still okay. It would be concerning if you were 40 and attracted to a minor, but you're not. There are just 4 years between you. Perfectly natural and anxiety-induced. Perhaps this arousal is something to work on with ERP? And perhaps your disappearing libido is a related response to your fears regarding attraction. I took a psychopathologies coirse om college (BA in psych degree) and the professors was a practicing psychiatrist. He gave am example one day about the brain and body's somatic responses to trauma and intense anxiety. He spoke of a man who was complaining of right wrist and hand pain that doctors couldn't determine a cause for. Through therapy, they were able to discover that his hand pain was a somatic response to his intense feelings of anxiety and shame over 'touching himself' (to word it gently) when it violated his religious beliefs. Additionally, after a traumatic incident in my life involving sexual assault, my libido vanished, too. My therapist and I believe that it's a somatic response to the emotion I was feeling at the time. Things like that can happen, but there are also other possible causes. I'm not a doctor or expert, so take my words with a grain of salt.

Moester96

Date posted: 4y

Trust me you’re life is not over. I really feel like I’m taking to my old self right now. If you listen to my advice you will most certainly be fine. I had all types of intrusive thoughts. Like pedophilia, homosexuality, incest, pornography, religion, and etc. The day I decided to not care about my thoughts and not be bothered by them. Was the beginning of my recovery from OCD.

Moester96

Date posted: 4y

Your problem is that you keep ruminating on what happened in the past. We all are humans and make mistakes. You’re focusing all your energy on what you did wrong. Rather than concentrating on how you can become better. So the question is how do you get better. Well the irony is you don’t do anything. Don’t give your negative thoughts the time of day. And do not ever fear your thoughts. You have to have the self confidence and believe that you will not become a pedophile. Based on what you written I can even infer myself that you will not be a pedophile. You seem very conscious of your actions and sound like a decent human being. Trust me I know what you’re going through. I was a mess for the last 8 years of my life. I was always worried about the future because of what I did in my past. The reason I got better is that I stopped being so fixated on the future. And lastly you have to learn to not care about your pedophilia thoughts. Every time you get that thought remind yourself that you will not be a pedophile and move on with your day. I really hope this helps you and wish you the best of luck.

yunger

Date posted: 4y

You’re going to be just fine . It’s just OCD

cbradbets

Date posted: 4y

When I was 17, I dated a guy who was 20. He was an adult dating a minor and nothing ever happened, legally speaking, to him about it. You and this girl both went to the same school, so the age difference isn't severe. It's perfectly okay for a teen to be attracted to another teen. That doesn't make you a pedophile. You'd be a pedophile of you were 40 and attracted to 14 year olds. So to answer your question, yes that is normal. I know that won't help much with the OCD driving force here, but I thought I'd share, nonetheless.

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 4y

Thanks so much for the replies. I really appreciate all your help! You're probably right about my body reacting to her and OCD driving me crazy. I do think she is attractive, but I also think she's to young to have sex with. So I don't want that. I chatted a lot with her when I was 17/18, and sometimes it was just fun talking to her. In some aspects of life she was mature for her age. But in other aspects she was not. So I'm glad it didn't ended up to a relationship. I already told you that I once called her pretty and some other things. I drank too much and said some stupid shit (The worst thing was her calling pretty), it was not anything more than that. Could I get in trouble for saying that to a minor? It was more than 2 years ago, but I'm still scared she's may go to the police. I don't want to be seen as a pedophile, because I'm really not..

cbradbets

Date posted: 4y

A verbal compliment is not a crime. You cannot get in trouble for saying she is pretty. Worse things are said to girls her age. When I was her age, I'd have been elated if the most forward thing I'd heard was that I'm pretty. By comparison to some other people, you were kind. When I was her age, there wasn't a single day at school that another student didn't try to grope me or catcall at me. The worst was the graphic description of a guy's "rape fantasy." I'm still disturbed by it over 10 years later. I know you think you violated this girl in some way emotionally, but you definitely did not by calling her pretty. You've kept your hands to yourself and respected her space. You've done nothing illegal.

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 4y

@cbradbets Thank you very much. You really helped me out. Is it also normal if I don't feel anything anymore when it comes to girls my age? I only notice a good looking guy (because of my HOCD) and a cute girl (like 14 - 18). I feel freaking nothing anymore to girls my age

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 4y

Thanks for all your responses. The thing that is making me most upset is that I don't have a libido anymore. Since HOCD started 3 years ago my libido was not there anymore. I never fantasized about children (that shit is just disgusting) and I dont ever want to do that shit. But the thing what is worrying me is that my body does react to the 16 y/o girl who I mentioned. She is just very pretty and has a nice curvy body, but it just feels wrong and I don't want it. I have had a lot of anxiety about this, and the feeling of being aroused by her is worsening. Can this be caused by the fear that is behind my attraction to her? I really hope it does, otherwise my life is over..

IhateOCD99

Date posted: 4y

(She is now 16, when I was 18 she was 14)

FoxMan

Date posted: 22w

Worried about something…again

Hey, so I wanted to ask about something that is trying to bother me right now. I just thought to come on here before letting my mind ruminate over and over and over. So a year ago when I was 22, I did not have many people to talk to aside from my roommates who were either not home during the summer or just to themselves so I decided to try out Omegle. I talked to a few different people on there, but there’s two people in particular that kind of made me worried. There is this one girl I was talking to from Canada and she told me the story about her and her friends smoking weed, and I told her about how my female roommate used to sleep in my bed. But the way I told her that was by asking for her Instagram so I could DM her that rather than say it out loud because my roommate was in the next room. At some point during our conversation, she told me that she was 16, and I’m not even sure how we came about that but she told me. Before I continue, we were not flirting at all. We were just sharing stories, that was it. My intention was to not flirt at all with anyone because of age and the fact that they probably nowhere near me. Also, I just kind of thought it would be weird too. But now I can’t remember if she told me her age before I told her about my roommate or after I told her about my roommate, but I feel like it was before because I kind of felt like I should’ve unfollowed her after. And what made it worse is that somehow my roommate saw her Instagram handle and followed her as well. Another instance was when this girl was being very goofy and playing the character and I was joking back and I ended up being invited into their Instagram group chat, where I found out they were also 16 so without saying anything, I left the group chat. So my worries if this was inappropriate or was it just a conversation that I probably should’ve cut short. I’m not sure but it’s starting to worry me. And just for context, I have no idea that girl or anybody else since that day and it NEVER went sexual at all. So yeah, that’s the story

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 21w

I think I’m a horrible person someone help

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty I think I’m really struggling right now. I was in my alone time (self pleasure) and obviously like whenever you’re doing your thing you might have fantasies or whatever and that’s what came into my mind in the moment and then all of a sudden I get a flashback from a scene from pretty little liars came into my mind where Emily kisses Ali on the neck. In pilot actor who played Allison was 12 years old, which the pilot was the first episode I believe but in the rest of the season of season one she was 13 and that flashback was in season one as well after the pilot and I’m really worried that I might have self pleasure to myself to that scene even though I knew all this time that she was 13 in that scene and I don’t feel comfortable because I’m 16 and even though like it’s not too much of an age gap it’s still polished me and I’m scared to death right now, but I didn’t panic immediately because I think I somewhat kinda knew in the moment that I probably didn’t do anything bad but I am not 100% sure and then the more I thought about it, I started to panic even more and now I’m panicking even more now and I feel like a really big pedo, and I keep searching and googling and trying to check for her age to see how old she was in that scene and I’m pretty sure she was 13 but I promise I wasn’t intentionally thinking oh yeah I’m gonna self pressure myself to this scene regardlessof her age. No, I’m just afraid I probably did without even like realizing or registering the thought in my mind, but then at the same time I kind of feel like maybe I was just coexisting with a thought and now I’m scared I’m really scared guys.

POCD

EndOCD!

Date posted: 15w

Just want a response

So one day a couple months ago I saw some posts on threads pop up on instagram and they said I’m 17 and horny and 18 and horny or I think I even remember see a 16 year old one. I’m 20 and I remembered that when those popped up I clicked on them and I don’t know if I did it out of true attraction or out of the urge to make my anxiety go away. I feel like often times if I see something that says any number under 18 even if it has nothing to do with age it could be talking about season 17 of a tv show my mind immediately goes what?? 17??? And then I click on it to make my anxiety go away. So when I remembered all of this I downloaded the threads app because I wanted to see if I could get reassurance and see if I could rekindle how I felt in these moments. When I opened the app all I saw was posts like that but everyone claimed to be 18. The only problem is none of the girls looked 18 they looked like 14-16 so I started to panic I and worry that because I clicked on the threads in the past it popped up more and I was a pedophile for that. All of the accounts all pretty much had only fans links so at that point I was like well they have to be 18 then but now I’m worried that maybe it’s a scammer and they are using underage pictures of girls and putting them on onlyfans. Which I know is out of my control but I just feel like a Pedo and like I did something wrong. Does anyone have any advice? Or have any similar situations/ similarities with this?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community