CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ANSWER When I was younger (like 17/18) I met a girl who went to the same school as me and lived in the same town. She was younger than me. (like 14). I was so stupid to talk to her and become friends with her. I thought she was cute and all. She also liked me (which was very wrong) and right now (a couple years later) I'm ruminating on it. I have the fear of becoming a pedophile and I'm so scared this means that I become one. I used to chat with her, and one time when I drank too much, I told her that she was pretty and stuff. I've so much guilt around it and I feel so freaking bad. Is it normal if I liked a girl around her age that time? I'm so scared because of this, I'll have to go to jail??! I NEVER intended on more than that, she was just cute and nothing more.

Dude you do realize your body reactions are also part of OCD. I know what you’re talking about I went through this. Listen maybe you do find the girl attractive and that’s fine. But OCD is trying to take advantage of that to drive you crazy. Take this from someone who’s been in your situation. Ignore those thoughts and stop letting them bother you. The fact that you’re describing how disgusting those thoughts are. Shows that they really do bother you. When you have the thought about the girl just admit that you find her attractive and literally just say so what. Whatever is going through your mind you have to be indifferent towards it.

I don't believe it makes you some gross predator. You were attracted to her 2 years ago and it was appropriate then. It's still okay. It would be concerning if you were 40 and attracted to a minor, but you're not. There are just 4 years between you. Perfectly natural and anxiety-induced. Perhaps this arousal is something to work on with ERP? And perhaps your disappearing libido is a related response to your fears regarding attraction. I took a psychopathologies coirse om college (BA in psych degree) and the professors was a practicing psychiatrist. He gave am example one day about the brain and body's somatic responses to trauma and intense anxiety. He spoke of a man who was complaining of right wrist and hand pain that doctors couldn't determine a cause for. Through therapy, they were able to discover that his hand pain was a somatic response to his intense feelings of anxiety and shame over 'touching himself' (to word it gently) when it violated his religious beliefs. Additionally, after a traumatic incident in my life involving sexual assault, my libido vanished, too. My therapist and I believe that it's a somatic response to the emotion I was feeling at the time. Things like that can happen, but there are also other possible causes. I'm not a doctor or expert, so take my words with a grain of salt.

Trust me you’re life is not over. I really feel like I’m taking to my old self right now. If you listen to my advice you will most certainly be fine. I had all types of intrusive thoughts. Like pedophilia, homosexuality, incest, pornography, religion, and etc. The day I decided to not care about my thoughts and not be bothered by them. Was the beginning of my recovery from OCD.

Your problem is that you keep ruminating on what happened in the past. We all are humans and make mistakes. You’re focusing all your energy on what you did wrong. Rather than concentrating on how you can become better. So the question is how do you get better. Well the irony is you don’t do anything. Don’t give your negative thoughts the time of day. And do not ever fear your thoughts. You have to have the self confidence and believe that you will not become a pedophile. Based on what you written I can even infer myself that you will not be a pedophile. You seem very conscious of your actions and sound like a decent human being. Trust me I know what you’re going through. I was a mess for the last 8 years of my life. I was always worried about the future because of what I did in my past. The reason I got better is that I stopped being so fixated on the future. And lastly you have to learn to not care about your pedophilia thoughts. Every time you get that thought remind yourself that you will not be a pedophile and move on with your day. I really hope this helps you and wish you the best of luck.

You’re going to be just fine . It’s just OCD

When I was 17, I dated a guy who was 20. He was an adult dating a minor and nothing ever happened, legally speaking, to him about it. You and this girl both went to the same school, so the age difference isn't severe. It's perfectly okay for a teen to be attracted to another teen. That doesn't make you a pedophile. You'd be a pedophile of you were 40 and attracted to 14 year olds. So to answer your question, yes that is normal. I know that won't help much with the OCD driving force here, but I thought I'd share, nonetheless.

Thanks so much for the replies. I really appreciate all your help! You're probably right about my body reacting to her and OCD driving me crazy. I do think she is attractive, but I also think she's to young to have sex with. So I don't want that. I chatted a lot with her when I was 17/18, and sometimes it was just fun talking to her. In some aspects of life she was mature for her age. But in other aspects she was not. So I'm glad it didn't ended up to a relationship. I already told you that I once called her pretty and some other things. I drank too much and said some stupid shit (The worst thing was her calling pretty), it was not anything more than that. Could I get in trouble for saying that to a minor? It was more than 2 years ago, but I'm still scared she's may go to the police. I don't want to be seen as a pedophile, because I'm really not..

Thanks for all your responses. The thing that is making me most upset is that I don't have a libido anymore. Since HOCD started 3 years ago my libido was not there anymore. I never fantasized about children (that shit is just disgusting) and I dont ever want to do that shit. But the thing what is worrying me is that my body does react to the 16 y/o girl who I mentioned. She is just very pretty and has a nice curvy body, but it just feels wrong and I don't want it. I have had a lot of anxiety about this, and the feeling of being aroused by her is worsening. Can this be caused by the fear that is behind my attraction to her? I really hope it does, otherwise my life is over..