- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Dude you do realize your body reactions are also part of OCD. I know what you’re talking about I went through this. Listen maybe you do find the girl attractive and that’s fine. But OCD is trying to take advantage of that to drive you crazy. Take this from someone who’s been in your situation. Ignore those thoughts and stop letting them bother you. The fact that you’re describing how disgusting those thoughts are. Shows that they really do bother you. When you have the thought about the girl just admit that you find her attractive and literally just say so what. Whatever is going through your mind you have to be indifferent towards it.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I don't believe it makes you some gross predator. You were attracted to her 2 years ago and it was appropriate then. It's still okay. It would be concerning if you were 40 and attracted to a minor, but you're not. There are just 4 years between you. Perfectly natural and anxiety-induced. Perhaps this arousal is something to work on with ERP? And perhaps your disappearing libido is a related response to your fears regarding attraction. I took a psychopathologies coirse om college (BA in psych degree) and the professors was a practicing psychiatrist. He gave am example one day about the brain and body's somatic responses to trauma and intense anxiety. He spoke of a man who was complaining of right wrist and hand pain that doctors couldn't determine a cause for. Through therapy, they were able to discover that his hand pain was a somatic response to his intense feelings of anxiety and shame over 'touching himself' (to word it gently) when it violated his religious beliefs. Additionally, after a traumatic incident in my life involving sexual assault, my libido vanished, too. My therapist and I believe that it's a somatic response to the emotion I was feeling at the time. Things like that can happen, but there are also other possible causes. I'm not a doctor or expert, so take my words with a grain of salt.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Trust me you’re life is not over. I really feel like I’m taking to my old self right now. If you listen to my advice you will most certainly be fine. I had all types of intrusive thoughts. Like pedophilia, homosexuality, incest, pornography, religion, and etc. The day I decided to not care about my thoughts and not be bothered by them. Was the beginning of my recovery from OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Your problem is that you keep ruminating on what happened in the past. We all are humans and make mistakes. You’re focusing all your energy on what you did wrong. Rather than concentrating on how you can become better. So the question is how do you get better. Well the irony is you don’t do anything. Don’t give your negative thoughts the time of day. And do not ever fear your thoughts. You have to have the self confidence and believe that you will not become a pedophile. Based on what you written I can even infer myself that you will not be a pedophile. You seem very conscious of your actions and sound like a decent human being. Trust me I know what you’re going through. I was a mess for the last 8 years of my life. I was always worried about the future because of what I did in my past. The reason I got better is that I stopped being so fixated on the future. And lastly you have to learn to not care about your pedophilia thoughts. Every time you get that thought remind yourself that you will not be a pedophile and move on with your day. I really hope this helps you and wish you the best of luck.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You’re going to be just fine . It’s just OCD
- Date posted
- 4y ago
When I was 17, I dated a guy who was 20. He was an adult dating a minor and nothing ever happened, legally speaking, to him about it. You and this girl both went to the same school, so the age difference isn't severe. It's perfectly okay for a teen to be attracted to another teen. That doesn't make you a pedophile. You'd be a pedophile of you were 40 and attracted to 14 year olds. So to answer your question, yes that is normal. I know that won't help much with the OCD driving force here, but I thought I'd share, nonetheless.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks so much for the replies. I really appreciate all your help! You're probably right about my body reacting to her and OCD driving me crazy. I do think she is attractive, but I also think she's to young to have sex with. So I don't want that. I chatted a lot with her when I was 17/18, and sometimes it was just fun talking to her. In some aspects of life she was mature for her age. But in other aspects she was not. So I'm glad it didn't ended up to a relationship. I already told you that I once called her pretty and some other things. I drank too much and said some stupid shit (The worst thing was her calling pretty), it was not anything more than that. Could I get in trouble for saying that to a minor? It was more than 2 years ago, but I'm still scared she's may go to the police. I don't want to be seen as a pedophile, because I'm really not..
- Date posted
- 4y ago
A verbal compliment is not a crime. You cannot get in trouble for saying she is pretty. Worse things are said to girls her age. When I was her age, I'd have been elated if the most forward thing I'd heard was that I'm pretty. By comparison to some other people, you were kind. When I was her age, there wasn't a single day at school that another student didn't try to grope me or catcall at me. The worst was the graphic description of a guy's "rape fantasy." I'm still disturbed by it over 10 years later. I know you think you violated this girl in some way emotionally, but you definitely did not by calling her pretty. You've kept your hands to yourself and respected her space. You've done nothing illegal.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@cbradbets Thank you very much. You really helped me out. Is it also normal if I don't feel anything anymore when it comes to girls my age? I only notice a good looking guy (because of my HOCD) and a cute girl (like 14 - 18). I feel freaking nothing anymore to girls my age
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks for all your responses. The thing that is making me most upset is that I don't have a libido anymore. Since HOCD started 3 years ago my libido was not there anymore. I never fantasized about children (that shit is just disgusting) and I dont ever want to do that shit. But the thing what is worrying me is that my body does react to the 16 y/o girl who I mentioned. She is just very pretty and has a nice curvy body, but it just feels wrong and I don't want it. I have had a lot of anxiety about this, and the feeling of being aroused by her is worsening. Can this be caused by the fear that is behind my attraction to her? I really hope it does, otherwise my life is over..
- Date posted
- 4y ago
(She is now 16, when I was 18 she was 14)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I am really worried that I may have SA'ed my little sister. When we were very young, and I mean, really, really young, I was 5 I think. I used to kiss my sister, because I was curious and my mom caught us and she told me not to do it again and I didn't. But when I was about 11 she felt on my lap and I liked the sensation so I tried to rub myself against her. I tried to take my life because of this, I did therapy and everyone, including my sister, told me that I was just a child, and my sister admitted to having done similar things and she said "Would you blame me?" and I said no because she was a child and barely understood what was happening. My therapist said that I mimicked adult behaviors when I kissed her but she was so young, like barely 4 years old and I feel sick to my stomach and I just want to die.
- Date posted
- 6w ago
Hello, I've struggled with possible OCD but it didn't involved POCD at first, at first it was basically me denying that I was ever a victim of grooming/pedophilia and how I was the real abuser towards my abusers despite the fact that I was the child, they were the adult, how is that possible??. Then eventually in 2023, I saw a video based on a FNF modder exposing him as a groomer/pedophile, and it was because when he was 17 he allegedly had an interaction with someone who was 15 that was nsfw. Now keep in mind, I was a victim of grooming/pedophilia especially since age 11 and even at 17, however I was also a bit of a promiscuous teen due to years of being groomed and I was having nsfw discussions/heavily sex positive convos with people who were 15/16/17 at 17 and I never considered how that could be inappropriate and my intent wasn't to be predatory but the fact that I was just simply exploring my sexuality, also a lot of the people I was doing this with, we were apart of a discord server that heavily encouraged NSFW convos between Teens and adults and it was made by an adult so bad environment overall made by an actual predator. However it didn't stop me in 2023 thinking that I was a pedophile as a teenager and I was genuinely worried and thought that I was a terrible person and I still do. I only did what I did because I was being hurt and thought it was okay, I never meant to hurt anyone and I at 19 literally convinced myself that I was a pedo in my under 18 teen years because of the age gap between me and my friends {1/2 years} and we had conversations that were sexual based even though I at 19 was dating my BF who was 22/23 at the time, I was 19 having sexual convos with adults, I at 19 had friends that were minors and our conversations were always appropriate and never nsfw or those same friends that I had previous convos with that were nsfw, {they were all either 17/18/19 and I was 19} our conversation topics have switched to more SFW ones unlike the ones we had when we were all minors so how could I be a pedo? and I freaked out about it, I couldn't concentrate in classes at all, it was a genuine nightmare. Eventually I did get better and realized that my behaviors were under duress and how I'm not actually a bad person and how I've changed as an adult and do not wish to harm anyone however I'm back on my cycle of worrying again and I've communicated to the people who I thought I affected and they all express no ill will or any anger and were never uncomfortable, do not think about it or just don't care/simply forgot. But Guilt eats me up like a stray dog. I also sometimes see people on twitter calling 17 year olds dating 15 or 16 year olds pedophiles or calling them "P diddy"
- Date posted
- 4w ago
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
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