Hi! I have OCD in a few different subtypes. Even when my brain isn't stuck on those scary obsessions and compulsions, it seems like it is getting stuck on every thought that comes in. Like my brain is constantly and very intensely trying to find problems to solve all throughout the day no matter what I'm thinking about, even if they aren't specific OCD thoughts. It's super exhausting! Is this a common thing with OCD? Does anyone else experience this?

It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.

Hi! It’s pretty difficult for me to get the courage to post this but I’m really struggling to figure out if what I’m experiencing is OCD or Anxiety or neither. I think I have the “pure O” type of OCD where most of my compulsions take the form of ruminating and trying to figure out something all in my head. When I hear this talked about in forums or online the intrusive thoughts don’t really match mine- I worry often about things that seem more “grounded” if that makes sense. A common one for me is my own identity- i will spend long amounts of time stuck in my head trying to figure out my feelings (often sadness or other real emotions I have and patterns I have) and why I feel that way and what in my life caused that and how it’s impacting other things in my life. I also think often about which parts of my personality are the real me and which aren’t. Sometimes this takes the form of strictly ruminating and sometimes I have fake conversations with people I know. It’s intense and I feel I have to figure it out but with no specific intrusive thought that says something like “you have to figure this out or all of your loved ones will die” but it’s very intense. I think also often of all of the decisions I need to make in the future and how they’re going to affect those I love and care about as well as how much I’ll regret them. I imagine all of the ways I think my actions will emotionally hurt others and how to make the least harmful decision, but to me this feels like a valid concern but go over and over and never come to a conclusion. I often just get scared and never make any move because I don’t see an option that doesn’t hurt someone somehow. But again I’m having a hard time identifying the intrusive thought behind it. But I also don’t choose to think about these things most of the time. This is almost all decisions but especially big life decisions. It’s such a struggle because they are things I eventually do have to make decisions about. There is so much more to it that would take too long to explain but in general a lot of my fears revolve around pleasing others/ understanding others emotions to ensure they’re okay, my own identity and personality, and work/school performance. Someone mentioned OCD to me because in my head it feels like I have to solve these things and will go over and over them but I seriously can’t figure out if it’s anxiety, OCD, or none of the above. It’s all very disruptive to my life. I am never not thinking or not trying to figure something out and I feel as if I have no control over it Anyone have any insight?

I would like to raise awareness for an OCD subtype that is almost never talked about and is not included in the official OCD subtypes. This subtype includes obsessions about: 1. Thinking that something is wrong with your brain 2. Being convinced that you have forgotten how to think 3. Being convinced and paranoid that you have lost your inner voice 4. Being extremely afraid that you have lost the ability to feel 5. Being hyperaware of every thought, tracing it back to see how it occurred 6. Being convinced that something is wrong with you when something doesn’t go the way you expected it 7. Thinking that you are not thinking about it in the right way when trying to think your way out of it Compulsions include: 1. Mentally trying to figure it out 2. Trying to prove to your self that nothing is wrong with you 3. Putting your life at a stop until you figure it out 4. Excessive googling, using chat bots, reddit, researching, reading books & trying to find the missing piece of the puzzle I am sure there are other people who relate to this. This subtype isn’t mentioned anywhere and it’s really confusing for those experiencing it. Please, if you feel or think in a similar way like this post and reply in order to raise awareness.