21816ogeid
- Date posted
- 4y
MM
- Date posted
- 4y
My here are a few books that have really helped me that you might try. They are: Awareness by Anthony de Mello; The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer; The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle and Viktor Frankl’s main book (the name escapes me). For me they key to freedom is to find the small gap of time between our thoughts and our reaction. OCD is fundamentally about us “reacting” to our thoughts. We cannot control the thought (thoughts are just thoughts) but we can choose to control our response or reaction to the thought. If you can find that small gap of time between the thought and your response (compulsion) then you are back in control and will find freedom. The key thing is to sit in that gap and do NOT REACT OR ATTACH ANY MEANING TO THE THOUGHT. SIMPLY SIT WITH IT. As Michael Singer says “Relax and release.” Anthony De Mello says “Let it go.” Mr. Tolle says “Be in the Now.” Just sit with the thought, feel it and move forward when it dissipates. One more thing: at first you may need to do this constantly. That is ok. You are rewiring your brain (you can create née neural pathways via a concept called neuroplasticity). One final thought: using the breath as an “anchor” is critical. Breathe in slowly and exhale slowly. The breath will ground you to your body. And when you do this focus on “What am I feeling in my body?” Your body is always in the “Now” and this will help you stay I. The present Good luck. 🍀
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 4y
I just want to say that guilt about not [studying] [having a job] [doing literally anything] can make obsessions worse, or even become one. So if you can give yourself a break about this stuff, do. You’re dealing with a mental illness. It’s hard work. 💜💜
hanajadehanajade
- Date posted
- 4y
I know that it seems really difficult at the moment but you can get through this it will just take time.
henry.omarhenry.omar
- Date posted
- 4y
You got this. You’re thoughts are not you and you will see your way out of this. I know exactly how you feel. I am just learning/feeling ready to re enter society myself. We can do this.
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 4y
I was thinking about this earlier today. How studying seemed completely impossible because Im doing so bad mentally. And then I wondered if this was another avoidance compulsion. What happenes if you sit down at the table and open the book and read one sentence? So I managed to get up standing and walk to my desk, sat down and read ... and I got 1 hour done. Not because I had the strength to do it, but because I did it. Do you think not doing schoolwork can be a kind of avoidance on your part? For me it plays into perfectionist OCD, studying is triggering.
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 4y
I have this about writing. My brain would way rather obsess about it than do it, so sometimes I just have to sort of skirt the system and just sit down and write anyway. And my brain’s like “...what??? You weren’t supposed to do that, you were supposed to stay here and ruminate???” And it’s like it’s so surprised it shuts up for a bit.
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 4y
@babbie Hehe, it surprises me how much the OCD has made me avoid because it triggers other compulsions. Often when I think I have been depressed I realise it has been avoidance rather than lack of initiative. I know what I need/want to do but it feels like I cant because I cant! What if its wrong etc. So I ruminate/avoid. Trying out more of "just do it" shows that once I get going the anxiety subsides and I prove that obviously I can go for a walk, wash my clothes, shower etc.
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj It’s such a delicate balance between actually getting stuff done without sending myself into worse mental paralysis!
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 4y
@babbie Because it starts off the compulsions you mean?
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Because force doesn’t work at all. Just telling myself to “tough it out” or whatever makes everything worse. So I have to make sure I’m not doing that when I try to write etc. Sort of like engaging the thoughts vs allowing them I guess?
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 4y
@babbie Yeah. It truly is a fine balance. I do feel the same about "pushing through". Obviously I have to push myself a little, and just start acting. But if I push too much it makes me ill. Thinking about what Im gonna do doesnt work either. Hoping to make some habits so everything doesnt have to be an exposure almost. But is just something I do...
Kate Kate
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m sorry. Good luck to you you’ll get through it.
Serio?Serio?
- Date posted
- 4y
It seems really dark right now but I’m sure with effort and grace to yourself you will pull through. Don’t give up
Related posts
xxoxxooo
- Date posted
- 24w
:
Nearly a week since I stopped in the middle of a compulsion and I still feel stressed and tempted to finish it. My throat, ears, head, chest, legs,arms, my body has been hurting since then. And if I finish it will it stop? But what's stopping me is.. I've been trying to trust God to handle it. Idk what to do rn, Ive been trying to set up a schedule for this week but it ended up not working out so I will try again next week, and School work I'm years behind (I'm in yr 10), I don't rlly have any friends either to help me. But anyways I try not to think about school that much since I have alot more to think about. And I don't even have any talent or anything I want to be I just want to be a good person but I'm horrible I just need to do focus on stuff Like getting closer to God. looking after myself. The OCD thoughts which. I can't do any of these tho because the OCD makes me so stressed I just want to hit the OCD in the face but I can't obviously so I do it to myself, And they make me want to do more to myself but I don't because ✝️ And I don't want to. Anyways I can't even do the basic things to look after yourself, and The OCD thoughts keep saying about death all the time, and illness. I don't like hearing it in my head all the time I can't do anything properly. And Those thoughts are active when I try read the Bible. Even when I used an audio bible. And a app where u read 1 verse at a time it's still hard. But basically what do I do My throat keeps feeling weird like burning without the feeling hot ughhshsheh I don't want to go back into that life when I was 12-13 where I was worrying about my health and checking with doctor all the time
carrotroot12
- Date posted
- 23w
Rant (all over the place)
i’ve been dealing with SOCD for 5 years and truly believe it has altered my life completely😀. i haven’t been properly diagnosed but the child therapist I had when i was in hs kind of hinted to me i had something more than just plain anxiety. i’ve also dealt with intrusive thoughts all throughout my childhood and as my family life got worse my anxiety got worse annnd i started getting more and more thoughts that wouldn’t leave me. I remember spending months not swallowing right and practically starving myself bc i kept thinking i was going to choke. i also rmbr spending months worrying ab death and dying EVERYDAY. it woke up with horrible anxiety and it was all i could think about. i can still rmbr sitting in my grandpas chair and just staring off and thinking “im going to die one day” “idk what’s going to happen” “is god real” “i don’t want to die” “what if there is no heaven” and so on. when the socd thoughts started i was 15. i searched around online for help and found reddit and i was like “omg yes finally people who understand and are going through EXACTLY what im going through.” finding that community and this app has helped me so much. anyway i had such a horrible time during my teenage years bc of all the intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, my relationship (glad that’s over), and some other things here and there. i was so so depressed and i felt no one around me understood how fucking awful i felt. i woke up everyday anxious, depressed, numb, and exhausted. when i started college i told my old therapist that even tho im extremely afraid of death i just didnt like living. i would cry in my car before class and just sob ab how awful i felt. although my mental health has gotten SO much better as time went on and the thoughts haven’t been as frequent im definitely not doing well. i am literally stuck. i’m still in college but i don’t know what to do with myself. those years of anxiety and depression have left me STUCK. im so much happier? and i can manage the thoughts way better but i don’t want to do anything. i only talk to 2 friends (literally lost so many great friendships), i RARELY drive bc im afraid ill die in a car crash (only to school and back), i don’t go out, i don’t ask for help at school, i avoid conversations, i avoid ppl in general, i don’t put in that much effort into school, i don’t have hobbies, i don’t want to do anything, i literally have the worst social anxiety now, im afraid of everything. i feel like the only reason im “ok” now is bc i’ve avoided literally everything. i’ve basically spent three years of my life doing nothing. i’m not happy with where i am in my life but im so scared to do anything. i miss who i was before all of this. i’ve been dealing with anxiety all my life and ik my childhood and early teen years made me like this. i didn’t know how to deal with the things i went through/saw as a little kid and i guess everything exploded in my teen years. but i want to be better i want to start LIVING. i’m definitely happier than before but im not living. what frustrates me is i refuse to do anything about it. i know a big reason why i don’t experience as many intrusive thoughts is bc i avoid everything 😭. ik what i have to do to get better and turn my life around BUT I WONT DO ANYTHING. idk how to explain this but its not laziness i feel like my body is exhausted. i think im just so traumatized from feeling so fucking horrible for so many years i just shut down ykwim?? i don’t have any libido, i don’t find ppl attractive, i can’t get myself to do the things im interested in (so many books r piled on my floor), i rot all day, i push off my responsibilities till the last minute, i can’t even get myself to go on a small walk. i don’t know where i was going w this but if someone who’s going through the same thing sees this ur not alone. i just needed to get this out. hopefully one day things will get better.
Pogoshow
- Date posted
- 22w
Myself
I feel like I’ve lost who I am , even since my depression and ocd started. I don’t even know what I like anymore:(( I doubt everything I think and it’s so draining because I just want to feel like my old self again😭 I feel like I have no motivation to get better which is bothering me so much because I want too but something is holding me back from doing what I need to do :/ with all my thoughts and doubts , I feel like I can’t trust myself . I don’t know if I’m the only one that feels this much pain
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