21816ogeid
- Date posted
- 5y
MM
- Date posted
- 5y
My here are a few books that have really helped me that you might try. They are: Awareness by Anthony de Mello; The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer; The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle and Viktor Frankl’s main book (the name escapes me). For me they key to freedom is to find the small gap of time between our thoughts and our reaction. OCD is fundamentally about us “reacting” to our thoughts. We cannot control the thought (thoughts are just thoughts) but we can choose to control our response or reaction to the thought. If you can find that small gap of time between the thought and your response (compulsion) then you are back in control and will find freedom. The key thing is to sit in that gap and do NOT REACT OR ATTACH ANY MEANING TO THE THOUGHT. SIMPLY SIT WITH IT. As Michael Singer says “Relax and release.” Anthony De Mello says “Let it go.” Mr. Tolle says “Be in the Now.” Just sit with the thought, feel it and move forward when it dissipates. One more thing: at first you may need to do this constantly. That is ok. You are rewiring your brain (you can create née neural pathways via a concept called neuroplasticity). One final thought: using the breath as an “anchor” is critical. Breathe in slowly and exhale slowly. The breath will ground you to your body. And when you do this focus on “What am I feeling in my body?” Your body is always in the “Now” and this will help you stay I. The present Good luck. 🍀
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 5y
I just want to say that guilt about not [studying] [having a job] [doing literally anything] can make obsessions worse, or even become one. So if you can give yourself a break about this stuff, do. You’re dealing with a mental illness. It’s hard work. 💜💜
hanajadehanajade
- Date posted
- 5y
I know that it seems really difficult at the moment but you can get through this it will just take time.
henry.omarhenry.omar
- Date posted
- 5y
You got this. You’re thoughts are not you and you will see your way out of this. I know exactly how you feel. I am just learning/feeling ready to re enter society myself. We can do this.
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 5y
I was thinking about this earlier today. How studying seemed completely impossible because Im doing so bad mentally. And then I wondered if this was another avoidance compulsion. What happenes if you sit down at the table and open the book and read one sentence? So I managed to get up standing and walk to my desk, sat down and read ... and I got 1 hour done. Not because I had the strength to do it, but because I did it. Do you think not doing schoolwork can be a kind of avoidance on your part? For me it plays into perfectionist OCD, studying is triggering.
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 5y
I have this about writing. My brain would way rather obsess about it than do it, so sometimes I just have to sort of skirt the system and just sit down and write anyway. And my brain’s like “...what??? You weren’t supposed to do that, you were supposed to stay here and ruminate???” And it’s like it’s so surprised it shuts up for a bit.
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 5y
@babbie Hehe, it surprises me how much the OCD has made me avoid because it triggers other compulsions. Often when I think I have been depressed I realise it has been avoidance rather than lack of initiative. I know what I need/want to do but it feels like I cant because I cant! What if its wrong etc. So I ruminate/avoid. Trying out more of "just do it" shows that once I get going the anxiety subsides and I prove that obviously I can go for a walk, wash my clothes, shower etc.
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 5y
@asdfghj It’s such a delicate balance between actually getting stuff done without sending myself into worse mental paralysis!
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 5y
@babbie Because it starts off the compulsions you mean?
babbiebabbie
- Date posted
- 5y
@asdfghj Because force doesn’t work at all. Just telling myself to “tough it out” or whatever makes everything worse. So I have to make sure I’m not doing that when I try to write etc. Sort of like engaging the thoughts vs allowing them I guess?
asdfghjasdfghj
- Date posted
- 5y
@babbie Yeah. It truly is a fine balance. I do feel the same about "pushing through". Obviously I have to push myself a little, and just start acting. But if I push too much it makes me ill. Thinking about what Im gonna do doesnt work either. Hoping to make some habits so everything doesnt have to be an exposure almost. But is just something I do...
Kate Kate
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry. Good luck to you you’ll get through it.
Serio?Serio?
- Date posted
- 5y
It seems really dark right now but I’m sure with effort and grace to yourself you will pull through. Don’t give up
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- Date posted
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- Date posted
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- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t know how to live anymore
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
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