God i wish i could just stop thinking/obsessing about everything. Like i just sit here and think “this is so fucking stupid”, why cant i just go back to living life and worrying about other things like school. I havent done any school work since august, im failing horribly. But i have no strength to do it. I cant focus cause my intrusive thoughts bring me down. I just want to be myself again :(

My here are a few books that have really helped me that you might try. They are: Awareness by Anthony de Mello; The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer; The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle and Viktor Frankl’s main book (the name escapes me). For me they key to freedom is to find the small gap of time between our thoughts and our reaction. OCD is fundamentally about us “reacting” to our thoughts. We cannot control the thought (thoughts are just thoughts) but we can choose to control our response or reaction to the thought. If you can find that small gap of time between the thought and your response (compulsion) then you are back in control and will find freedom. The key thing is to sit in that gap and do NOT REACT OR ATTACH ANY MEANING TO THE THOUGHT. SIMPLY SIT WITH IT. As Michael Singer says “Relax and release.” Anthony De Mello says “Let it go.” Mr. Tolle says “Be in the Now.” Just sit with the thought, feel it and move forward when it dissipates. One more thing: at first you may need to do this constantly. That is ok. You are rewiring your brain (you can create née neural pathways via a concept called neuroplasticity). One final thought: using the breath as an “anchor” is critical. Breathe in slowly and exhale slowly. The breath will ground you to your body. And when you do this focus on “What am I feeling in my body?” Your body is always in the “Now” and this will help you stay I. The present Good luck. 🍀

I just want to say that guilt about not [studying] [having a job] [doing literally anything] can make obsessions worse, or even become one. So if you can give yourself a break about this stuff, do. You’re dealing with a mental illness. It’s hard work. 💜💜

I know that it seems really difficult at the moment but you can get through this it will just take time.

You got this. You’re thoughts are not you and you will see your way out of this. I know exactly how you feel. I am just learning/feeling ready to re enter society myself. We can do this.

I was thinking about this earlier today. How studying seemed completely impossible because Im doing so bad mentally. And then I wondered if this was another avoidance compulsion. What happenes if you sit down at the table and open the book and read one sentence? So I managed to get up standing and walk to my desk, sat down and read ... and I got 1 hour done. Not because I had the strength to do it, but because I did it. Do you think not doing schoolwork can be a kind of avoidance on your part? For me it plays into perfectionist OCD, studying is triggering.

I’m sorry. Good luck to you you’ll get through it.

It seems really dark right now but I’m sure with effort and grace to yourself you will pull through. Don’t give up