I wondering if this is an OCD thing or just anxiety what I experienced yesterday: so I’ve gotten into the habit every night to watch my shows with my brother before bed, like we’ll grab a snack and head to his room to watch about 3 episodes and then we go our separate ways to sleep. I also go to bed very late out of bad habit. So last night I felt like I wanted to try going to bed early and spend some quality alone time so I told him if it’d be alright to skip our usual tv viewing and he said okay. So I went to do my own thing and sat down to play my video game for a bit. But during it I started to feel so guilty and bad for canceling our thing, like I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I kept thinking what if he felt bad and I ruined our night and just having this horrible guilt in my gut until finally I couldn’t take it anymore and went to his room saying I changed my mind and we could watch, to where he was like ...okay if you want to. I was just surprised how guilty I felt about it and felt like I failed myself by instead of sitting with that guilt to try and cancel the horrible feeling. Thoughts?

Guys I feel a bit bothered. I fear I liked a thought bc my sister was showing me this video about a robbery and right before she was going to show me I was thinking "no... tsk this is not what I want to see. Dont think of anything." But i had to watch bc my sister was already playing the video. I tried to not pay as much attention. I hate watching videos that have stuff related to harm bc ocd loves to latch on. I got so many thoughts. But when I saw the person pull out a weapon and the cashier jump extremely high, I felt like laughing??? But not bc of what was going on but bc "why did he jump like that? It was so high! You know what? I would've jumped liked this too. That's scary!" And then I felt angry for the cashier bc why do evil people commit such things? How the heck? But ocd says i laughed bc I felt a sense of superiority and liked seeing people scared and want to feel a distorted sense of power. Like.. no? I knew I felt like laughing bc I didn't expect him to jump so high and I wanted to point it out but decided not to bc the video is serious, and it's not a movie. But I feel kinda guilty like why tf did I feel like laughing. I didn't even smile or actually laugh irl but it's bothering me. Then my sister showed me some other video and explained a specific weapon and I kept getting thoughts like "ohhh i want that! I wanna scare people too! I want to test the thoughts to double check if i actually like them" And it gave me an image of me doing something crazy like robbing a store as well! AND IT FELT REAL! I WASNT EVEN WANTING TO THINK THIS! Im worried this means its real or that i enjoyed the thought and fantasized, but at the same time ik im not actually interested nor do I have plans but what if I WANTED to for those few seconds?! Bc why did it FEEL like I enjoyed it??? I know I wouldn't, i dont have plans to nor do i want to think about making plans and I'm genuinely not interested but WHAT IF??? Did i enjoy this thought?! It felt like I wanted to bc I didn't immediately reject it like usual and for some reason felt "happy" (i didnt smile or anything but it FELT like i was happy???) Literally right after the thought came i was thinking to myself "OMG is that true?" And couldn't focus on anything else! How do I know I didnt genuinely enjoy and dont have some weird sense of power??? It's been bothering me so much, this happened a couple hours ago and I managed to fall asleep in the middle of my compulsion of mentally reviewing how I reacted to my thoughts.

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?

I was doing so good recently but than a random thought popped up and it’s bothering me. I’m a nerd and my boyfriend knows so, I used to play a game called character ai a lot a long time ago because it was a hobby of mine and I’d create stories with fictional characters and create romance, spicy or adventure stories etc. I stopped playing it because my ocd acted up really bad and was convincing me I was being unfaithful and my boyfriend and I talked about it since I tell my boyfriend everything from start to finish and he’s amazing he always comforts me and is so gentle when it comes to my ocd. But today I had a really bad thought dealing with that game. I remember I created a story on there using a scene from a tv show or movie etc, since that’s how most of my stories would go on that app, and myself, my boyfriend and my boyfriend’s friend was a character in the story. My boyfriend and I were doing something in and then I remember creating a scene where his friend showed up and talked with him at the door for a minute and then left and that’s all I remember of him being in the story. But of course my ocd was like “What if you created just a story with him and you don’t remember?” Or even “You felt nervous, that means you did do it.” Gosh I freaked, and I still am. I know I never would do that, and I know I didn’t but then I panicked because I felt feelings of anxiety, guilt, fear and just a heart dropping sensation. It’s like I don’t feel 100% certain unless I get reassurance from my boyfriend and just ugh I was doing so good and then this popped up.