Anon4
- Date posted
- 4y
EperkeEperke
- Date posted
- 4y
I have Retrospective Jealousy OCD. It started around 30 years ago when I met my now wife. I struggled with the thoughts about her past not knowing what was happening and when they first came on the pain was unbearable and I tried to kill myself. I then had years of going to therapists that were useless as they failed to realise it was OCD. Four years ago I finally was diagnosed and with the help of a great psychotherapist I have been doing ERP and at last things have improved. Before that I was totally at its mercy and I would get so angry and upset with my wife it was awful. Luckily we are still together. I would like to connect with others with this type of OCD to hopefully provide some support and understanding whether you have not yet been diagnosed or you are or are due to begin ERP . ERP was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. If years ago I had known other people with this OCD who knew what the diagnosis is and how to treat it it would have saved years of pain and suffering.
Ocd_istheworstOcd_istheworst
- Date posted
- 4y
I relate to this so so much
Ocd_istheworstOcd_istheworst
- Date posted
- 4y
Jealousy based relationship ocd has been by far the most distressing shit I have ever been through in my entire life. I can’t shake it. I can get other rel ocd thoughts like doubts about the rel and my feelings towards my bf, but it doesn’t shake me in my core like the jealousy based obsessions do. It makes me feel suicidal and I cant function at all but other ocd themes don’t do this to me at all. And it feels real bc jealousy of x y or Z can be real or they are real and I know they are and I obsess about it being fact (ex if my bf directly tells me something then it’s fact or if something actually happened or has been said that I can’t get out of my head ) and that kills me more than the ones that might just be in my head. My other themes don’t do this to me.
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes! Experiencinf this now. One theme feels different and it makes ne think it is real
Anon4Anon4
- Date posted
- 4y
Right. It makes you feel like it can’t be OCD and while OCD still feels threatening, this feels like a legitimate threat.
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@MegB Exactly! Struggling with this today!
EperkeEperke
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi have you been through ERP and has it helped. My isssue was that I thought I had OCD but none of the books or later when there was internet (!) no mention of this type of intrusive thought so you start thinking it is just jealousy and you start trying to rationalise and focus which is the worst thing to do. Once it is diagnosed it is obviously a mental illness and needs to be treated as such.
Ocd_istheworstOcd_istheworst
- Date posted
- 4y
ERP helped me a lot with this theme. I went through the nine weeks of NOCD erp therapy on this app and it helped me into remission for seven months. Now the remission has ended (yay...) and I’m triggered a lot again. So I know what I have to do but I keep putting it off and I shouldn’t. I’ll try to make some more scripts today and start exposing myself again bc I know if I got into remission once I can do it again and ERP is so effective so it gives me hope. How are yoj holding up ? It’s so hard with themes that are less known. It really is the worst feeling like ur alone or when therapists never heard this type of ocd before but that’s what makes NOCD so great and I’m glad I found this app. Although I wish it took my insurance so I can go back again but I do have the tools I need to do it myself but I miss that emotional support as well and challenges from a therapist .
OCDeezyFosheezyOCDeezyFosheezy
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm a little confused but I think I get what you're saying. For example I've had SOCD at times but it doesn't bother me cuz I'm not against the idea of being anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. On the other hand I definitely have other intrusive thoughts that can be debilitating. I dunno if that's what you're talking about but yeah, lol that's me at times.
Anon4Anon4
- Date posted
- 4y
Not exactly? I mean I totally get what you’re saying, but I meant do certain themes feel more real to you. Like when I was struggling really hard with sexually intrusive thoughts, part of me knew it was OCD, so while I still had to do compulsions because I was uncomfortable, I was just kinda like “this is obnoxious and horrible, but it’s just my ocd being obnoxious and horrible”. But with other themes (like what I’m dealing with right now), I am constantly questioning if it’s ocd or not, because it feels different somehow. If I’m still not making sense, I get it 😂
OCDeezyFosheezyOCDeezyFosheezy
- Date posted
- 4y
@MegB Ah ok gotcha. I definitely have experienced that at times between the feeling of "is this really"or "is it my OCD" always teeters between my different OCD obsessions.
Related posts
Cody Fournier
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 25w
OCD switches themes
I was just thinking about how OCD tries to be tricky and switches themes on us!! The amount of times I have said to myself in the past, IF ONLY I HAD THE OLDER THEME I USE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE THIS NEW ONE IS SO MUCH WORSE!!! Has anyone ever experienced this before? Once I started ERP therapy, I began to really start understanding what mental/physical compulsions I was doing to really keep my OCD alive! While I did this, I would also tap into my self-compassion bucket, even when it felt like it was dry at times, because it was SO easy to judge myself for because of the sheer presence of my thoughts. I would also have the most self-compassion for myself for those taboo intrusive thoughts that really felt so strong, ego-dystonic and real!!! My OCD would hop around from theme to theme and just when I thought I figured it out (compulsion) it would hop again and make me discouraged! I noticed for me that once I really understood my compulsions, it didn't matter when the theme switched as I could tackle it at its core. If I was able to stay steadfast and resist compulsions the best I could, I started to notice that my CONFIDENCE increased in the long run! I also noticed that some of the core fears were the same for different OCD subtypes. OCD treatment is hard BUT living with OCD is harder. I have experienced subtypes including Harm OCD, ROCD, Moral Scrupulosity, Sensorimotor, Contamination, Perfectionism/Just Right, Hit and Run, Magical Thinking, Real Event/False Memory. ERP therapy allowed me to really work on stopping these compulsions and switching from theme to theme. I was fed up with what OCD took from me and I needed to do something about it. I talked to an ERP therapist and it was one of the best decisions of my life. If you are struggling, keep pushing and get the help you deserve!! You got this!!!
jesus.is.fre...
- Date posted
- 19w
OCD 'feeling real'
I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort
Mk3
- Date posted
- 19w
Rocd
I’ve had different themes of ocd throughout my life. Can they all differ such as how the thoughts may present? Currently my thoughts feel so true immediately (like they genuinely feel like what I think) but in the last theme I feel like it may have been more of a “what if I think this” type of situation
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