I have a question.. I think my friend has ocd.. but obviously I don't want to diagnose or like make her uncomfortable but she does ask me for ALOT of reassurance i noticed of whether she is a good person and /or whether the thing she did will make her sick.. and her hand washing has reached a point where her skin is cracking... What is the right thing to do here? I am happy to reasure her if that's what is good for her but I do clearly from the outside see that she's in a loop... So am i enabling her? .. I obv don't know if even she actually has it.. cause she's never been diagnosed or even thought about it.. But I don't want to cause more harm.. idk.. I'm just getting concerned.. shes been living at her parents who are not the best people.. and has not gone outside even in her yard for fear of the neighbours breath coming in her yard.. and i feel like she's getting worse... Idk what to do.. feels like it's none of my business except that she always gets her reassurance from me.. o.o Thoughts?

Sheeby

Date posted: 5y

If I were you I’d stop giving her reassurance because it is going to make it worse for her if it is OCD. If you speculate it is, which to me even if it isn’t shes in territory of avoidance and that’s anxious behavior regardless. You could always reach out and ask if she is dealing with stuff. Also for letting of the reassurance train, my tip is to tell her “you know, I don’t know the answer to that. But I’m here to listen if you need to talk”

watertilt

Date posted: 5y

That's a good line.. I may try that out the next time. Yeah I do want to stop.. It just feels hard to navigate since I don't know if she has it.. but you're right I think.. even if it's not ocd it's looking harmful... Le sigh..

henry.omar

Date posted: 5y

I would maybe try to steer her in the right direction. If she’s your friend and you love her, I think she needs that. It sounds like she needs help, regardless is she has ocd or not. Reach out to her and show her to want to support her.

CalebNeedsHelp

Date posted: 5y

If you're worried about offending her, I would start by talking about your experience, so she knows that it's okay to call it what it is. Because obviously you don't think any less of her for it if you deal with it too. Maybe begin the conversation indirectly by asking about her mental health in general. As long as you say things in a loving way, I'm sure it will go ok :)

feethebee

Date posted: 5y

you can't know for sure whether she has ocd and you also don't know whether she's even thought of it. but in the case she has ocd, reassurance isn't good, so things get a lil complicated for your here. i advise you to take the initiative and next time she asks for reassurance tell her that she's manifesting some ocd symptoms and help her understand what they could mean for her well-being. this could prove eye-opening for her. hope i helped!

watertilt

Date posted: 5y

I just am a little afraid she's going to be offended if I say anything like that you know? I wonder if I could somehow lay off being reassuring while still being supportive.. :/

feethebee

Date posted: 5y

@watertilt does she know you have ocd yourself? if she does then i doubt she'll get offended. she might be already a lil familiarized with the disorder so it wouldn't be that shocking for her ego. showing compassion is key here. i don't know if you there's another another alternative to reassuring here since that's a natural social response, people reassure each other all the time. i strongly feel that expressing your concern is the best you can do to show support but it's completely up to you

feethebee

Date posted: 5y

@feethebee *i don't know if there's another lmao my keyboard went berserk

watertilt

Date posted: 5y

@feethebee She does know.. I mentioned it once..

feethebee

Date posted: 5y

@watertilt hm, then all i can say is that i agree with @sheeby 's comment

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