I have a question.. I think my friend has ocd.. but obviously I don't want to diagnose or like make her uncomfortable but she does ask me for ALOT of reassurance i noticed of whether she is a good person and /or whether the thing she did will make her sick.. and her hand washing has reached a point where her skin is cracking... What is the right thing to do here? I am happy to reasure her if that's what is good for her but I do clearly from the outside see that she's in a loop... So am i enabling her? .. I obv don't know if even she actually has it.. cause she's never been diagnosed or even thought about it.. But I don't want to cause more harm.. idk.. I'm just getting concerned.. shes been living at her parents who are not the best people.. and has not gone outside even in her yard for fear of the neighbours breath coming in her yard.. and i feel like she's getting worse... Idk what to do.. feels like it's none of my business except that she always gets her reassurance from me.. o.o Thoughts?

Username: SheebySheeby

Date posted: 4y ago

If I were you I’d stop giving her reassurance because it is going to make it worse for her if it is OCD. If you speculate it is, which to me even if it isn’t shes in territory of avoidance and that’s anxious behavior regardless. You could always reach out and ask if she is dealing with stuff. Also for letting of the reassurance train, my tip is to tell her “you know, I don’t know the answer to that. But I’m here to listen if you need to talk”

Username: watertiltwatertilt

Date posted: 4y ago

That's a good line.. I may try that out the next time. Yeah I do want to stop.. It just feels hard to navigate since I don't know if she has it.. but you're right I think.. even if it's not ocd it's looking harmful... Le sigh..

Username: henry.omarhenry.omar

Date posted: 4y ago

I would maybe try to steer her in the right direction. If she’s your friend and you love her, I think she needs that. It sounds like she needs help, regardless is she has ocd or not. Reach out to her and show her to want to support her.

Username: CalebNeedsHelpCalebNeedsHelp

Date posted: 4y ago

If you're worried about offending her, I would start by talking about your experience, so she knows that it's okay to call it what it is. Because obviously you don't think any less of her for it if you deal with it too. Maybe begin the conversation indirectly by asking about her mental health in general. As long as you say things in a loving way, I'm sure it will go ok :)

Username: feethebeefeethebee

Date posted: 4y ago

you can't know for sure whether she has ocd and you also don't know whether she's even thought of it. but in the case she has ocd, reassurance isn't good, so things get a lil complicated for your here. i advise you to take the initiative and next time she asks for reassurance tell her that she's manifesting some ocd symptoms and help her understand what they could mean for her well-being. this could prove eye-opening for her. hope i helped!

Username: watertiltwatertilt

Date posted: 4y ago

I just am a little afraid she's going to be offended if I say anything like that you know? I wonder if I could somehow lay off being reassuring while still being supportive.. :/

Username: feethebeefeethebee

Date posted: 4y ago

@watertilt does she know you have ocd yourself? if she does then i doubt she'll get offended. she might be already a lil familiarized with the disorder so it wouldn't be that shocking for her ego. showing compassion is key here. i don't know if you there's another another alternative to reassuring here since that's a natural social response, people reassure each other all the time. i strongly feel that expressing your concern is the best you can do to show support but it's completely up to you

Username: feethebeefeethebee

Date posted: 4y ago

@feethebee *i don't know if there's another lmao my keyboard went berserk

Username: watertiltwatertilt

Date posted: 4y ago

@feethebee She does know.. I mentioned it once..

Username: feethebeefeethebee

Date posted: 4y ago

@watertilt hm, then all i can say is that i agree with @sheeby 's comment

Username: aidancdm

Date posted: 6y ago

Any advice..? My girlfriend had OCD, specifically OCPD. What can I do to comfort her when she’s feeling anxious/ out of control, dealing with intrusive thoughts, wanting to act on her compulsions etc? I can’t physically be there for her when she breaks down, talking to her through texting and calling for comfort doesn’t help too much sometimes. I want to help her and make her feel as loved and safe as possible, but I need help to make sure I can provide her with that

Username: Mai

Date posted: 6y ago

I think my little sister has OCD, she constantly seeks reassurance about things such as whether the dog has died, if the lights are definitely off, if the door is locked... I could go on. She gets quite distressed if you don’t give her reassurance. She seems to have some verbal and physical compulsions too. I also have OCD but it is different from hers as mine mainly focuses on contamination, counting and having things ‘just right.’ I’m not sure how to support her properly because I know I’m not supposed to give her any reassurance but it is horrible seeing her getting anxious. Does anyone know how I can best help her?

Username: MJocd

Date posted: 5y ago

I feel SO GUILTY for this, but I suffer from OCD myself and I always feel morally obligated to help other OCD sufferers as much as I can so they dont feel alone or isolated but today somebody from a fb support group I am in contacted me with their POCD thoughts and kept asking me for reassurance, I told them it was OCD and nothing else. I told them not to engage in reassurance seeking behaviours etc. But my OCD thoughts became directed at the OCD sufferer and now I cant stop ruminating "what if that person is a bad person, how could I know?" "What if every ocd sufferer you've spoken too could potentially be a bad person?", I know the person contacting me is in therapy for their OCD and clearly struggling with a mental illness. I feel so guilty for having those thoughts, I felt anxious when she described her thoughts to me and I feel bad for having my intrusive thoughts that are directed towards her. Maybe I shouldn't help anyone since I am suffering from OCD myself. :(

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