- Username
- tin
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have harm ocd and depression and went to the hospital bc it felt so real. I was told by an ocd expert that someone with harm ocd is more unlikely to act on their thoughts then someone who has no mental problem. Going to the hospital just made my harm ocd worse bc they are constantly asking you there if you have a plan etc and bc my harm ocd felt so real it really felt like I had one.
Oh no! I can see how that would be so disorienting. I’m sorry you experienced that.
You should get help when you feel like your symptoms are getting worse and if you can’t deal with your ocd anymore. I totally understand what you are going through. It’s important to look after your mental well-being and to eat lots of food. Sometimes I hear things too that my family can’t hear and I think that am going crazy or I have schizophrenia. Asking for help would be the first step to start the process of recovery. We can get through this together and we are all here for you. You are more than welcome to message me privately if you want.
Hey, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Talking to a professional is a great start and I’d really recommend talking to someone on a crisis line when you are feeling unwell - they can give you helpful CBT strategies to manage anxiety momentarily and also help you calm down from panic attacks. When I feel really guilty and horrible and awful, I find that talking to someone and just getting confidential help is great, so please don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it!
Hey, I’ve felt the same way many many times, stuck in a constant loop of anxiety and compulsions and reading and watching videos from the moment I wake up to when It’s time to go to sleep. my biggest fear is schizophrenia and I’m constantly thinking weird things and just being anxious :( I hope things get better for you and I highly recommend a therapist! Getting a therapist who specializes in OCD is the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health!
I’m sorry that this is happening to you. To answer your question I have call a crisis line and seek help. Seeking help truly was the biggest thing I could have done! I was at the bottom. I wasn’t eating, similar to your current situation. I didn’t understand what was happening and really frustrated me. So please consider getting help. It changed for good my situation.
Contact Pastor Mohan Lazarus in YouTube, he can pray for your problem
After finding out about Suicidal OCD, I thought that from this point onwards, that things would slowly start getting better. However, I feel like things are only getting worse. I am ruminating almost 24/7 with extreme anxiety and constantly crying. I’ve even started to suspect that what I’m going through isn’t suicidal OCD but rather a syndrome that is related to depression and suicide and comes from taking a specific pill called Finasteride that I had taken before. I feel like I am living in complete terror and that I don’t trust myself at all. It’s like I’m going to do it and I really need hospitalization before it’s too late. I can’t tell if what I’m experiencing is like the rest of the people here but I want to know if anyone else here is feeling traumatized, not being able to do ANYTHING all day and suffering so much from the pain, anxiety, and depression and feel this complete certainty that they’re going to do something to themselves. I truly think I’m going crazy and that I’m in an actual dangerous state. I do not move from my bed at all tbe entire day and I barely eat a single meal. Something is telling me that I want to die and that is causing me so much fear. I really think I need help before it’s too late because I’m quite sure this is not normal.
Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?
Have any of you been stuck in what feels like an OCD loop? It’s like being held hostage by OCD. It’s like everything becomes a trigger. Like there isn’t a part of the day where I’m not having intrusive thoughts because it’s the only thing my brain can think about. So every conversation I’m thinking of horrible things I could say, every time I pet my dog think of things I could do to hurt her, anytime I drive I think of hitting pedestrians, every time I’m alone I think of ways I could hurt myself. It honestly feels like my brains on fire I’m starting to think I might have some kind of destructive brain tumour because I can’t comprehend how this can all be mental illness. It’s the ‘urge’ I can’t deal with it feels so real. I’ve had mental illness and likely OCD my whole life but nothing has ever made me feel as scared and hopeless as this. I’ve been having horrible migraine attacks daily for months and I think the trigger is the stress and anxiety these thoughts cause. I feel like I can never rest. It’s like my head is caught in a vice and my eye sight is constant flashes and static. Blood tests normal and two eye tests back normal. I can barely work as my whole job is computer based. I don’t even know how I would begin to do ERP because it feels like I’d have to tackle EVERYTHING about being alive! I also don’t think I have any compulsions. If I do none of them provide any relief so it’s basically just me feeling like I’m going insane every single day since October. It’s impossible to relax when my brain thinks we’re either going to die of a brain tumour or going insane and hurting myself against my will or doing something to someone else that would mean I would have to kill myself. My brain honestly believes it’s inevitable I won’t be along for much longer and it’s petrifying. I don’t know how to get better until I can reset my body to get out of this cycle. How am I supposed to move forward when my brain and body is in constant fight and flight? Does anybody relate? My brain doesn’t even believe this is OCD anymore… I guess this is reassurance but I’m having such a terrible time.
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