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- 4y
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- 4y
I can highly relate! My question is... was seeking reassurance one of your compulsions! And if so, have you ever had someone confirm that your thoughts/something you did were in fact weird or suspicious? Dealing with this right now and it’s really tough. I feel like if someone else sees something strange in my thoughts/behavior, they must be true.
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- 4y
Yes I seemed reassurance almost 24/7. I was always googling or seeking some type of reassurance. And honestly I’ve never asked if my thoughts were weird I’ve just said that what if they are and I worked on it with my therapist. Now I just sometimes question if they are but I just do my erp if I obsess over it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
My question is if your ocd centers around a real flaw will ERP make you not care about that flaw ? Thank you
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- 4y
That’s a good question! It just depends. I’m not quite sure how to answer that
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- 4y
I have the same question! No, you will still care, but there will be no OCD attached to it. Instead of feeling panic and anxiety and a very strong urge to fix it immediately, you will feel like everyone else does about their flaws — something to be taken care of normally, calmly, as it comes up. No anxiety, no compulsive urge. ERP will take away the OCD reaction to the real flaw so you can react and respond like normal people.
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- 4y
@Madison That’s exactly right!
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- 3y
@Madison the ERP Ninja - I haven't done therapy yet, but what if the habit of the intrusive thought or what I call "inquiries based off of real events" is constantly haunting you and stealing your focus? I feel like I'm not having as much "anxiety" but I still feel the need to seek assurances or to "deal with the inquiry", and if I don't it's not just something that goes away for me. Then again, maybe it is anxiety just not classic anxiety. I constantly feel the need to "deal with things" that come up from the past or present etc. aka it still steals my peace of mind.
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- 4y
As a NOCD advocate to another who also mainly struggles with POCD how do you stay so positive with OCD NOCD helped me a ton but sometimes I just worry I may relapse. Is there I way I could further message you about POCD I feel like at times I am the only one with that theme if not no biggie. Thanks!
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- 4y
Yes! You definitely can message me
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- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Can I msg you as well? I’m struggling so bad.
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- 4y
I was pregnant and fixing to have my baby, and I was working extremely hard on my ERP. I was doing ERP when I was in labor. Normally it was the ERP itself that helped me
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Did nocd really help you? I feel like my ocd became really bad after i had my baby and i had no idea where all these scary intrusive thoughts were coming from. Does it get better? And if so how?
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- 4y
@kd88 Yes. NOCD saved my life. I can’t even begin to tell you if I would’ve gone without treatment if I’d be alive right now my OCD was that bad to me. I mean I absolutely worked my butt off doing ERP because I was so worried it’d effect me being able to do things for my daughter like a mom should but it genuinely helped. It was like she was my exposure and I’m so glad I did my therapy before having her!
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I see, yeah i had never experienced it so it was soo scary to me. My daughter is 4 now but i feel like it's come back and haunted me after 4 yrs of being just fine. And it's the same intrusive thought, it makes me feel so scared and terrible
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I tend to google things like crazy and seek reassure to make me feel better at the moment but i know that, that never helps for long. .i guess my biggest fear is what if i act on the intrusive thought, and it bothers me soo much to my cire that it doesn't let me be in peace. And feel sooo much guilty
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- 4y
@I don’t know My therapist taught me many erp techniques. Such as sitting there and accepting whatever thoughts and feelings come in and sit with what you feel until it feels a bit hetter
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- 4y
@kd88 @kd88, my ocd got really bad after having my first baby too. Particularly, unwanted, intrusive thoughts. I didn’t understand OCD at the time and didn’t realize it was normal to experience, so it was terrifying for me. Anyways, just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@kd88 If you were a bad person or a peodophile these thoughts wouldn't be worrying you, they would feel right. Because we know right from wrong it is so much harder when we have these thoughts as we know it is something we would not do in a million years. The fact you are posting about it shows that this is not you and us the OCD controlling and taking charge of your thoughts.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Do you mind if I ask what thoughts were going through your mind?
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- 4y
@I wont let ocd win I have pocd. But I have other types of ocd as well, pocd is just my main theme.
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I feel like I’ve do this and it really is nice to get to that better feeling. To me I sometimes make it to a relaxed state a peaceful state
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- 4y
@ashleyboo Done* not do lol
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- 4y
I am suffering with Real event ocd and False memory. I don't know what to do.
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- 4y
I suffer with many themes of OCD but POCD is my main theme.
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- 4y
Me to. I was on drugs really bad in the past and I physically abused my son. I know what I did was absolutely horrible and sometimes unforgivable, but I have to forgive myself and move on. I've since gotten clean from drugs and am working on having more compassion and I've worked through my anger issues and I'm trying to be a decent person. DCF wants to give him back to me but I'm so afraid I will hurt him again. Or worse sexually abuse him I don't know why I feel like I would sexually abuse him maybe because I don't have anger issues anymore but I am insecure sometimes and I feel like if I stop talking to God, and reading the Bible, and going back to doing people dirty and being careless and mean that I will end abusing my son as well. I just want to be a good mom and feel that I have it in me. But it's a fear that I may hurt him
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- 4y
@Sarah That’s a great thing you got clean! And all you can do is take it day by day and do better then the day before.
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- 4y
I was supposed to go to my first therapy session today. It's in person and I'm scared of being misunderstood or misdiagnosed. I'm frightened that they are going to think I'm something I'm not
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- 4y
Someone once told me the crazy thing about being an over thinker is that we are usually right,,,, Using this theory how do we know we are not right about our thoughts and they are gut feelings
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- 4y
Lol, what? Overthinkers are usually just that: overthinkers. They’re not usually right. They think too much. And usually end up totally wrong and completely off base. Whoever told you that is wrong 💖
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Ocd causes sensations that make you feel sure or like you found the truth. Don’t listen to it
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- 4y
Yeah I feel like my life has no meaning anymore and just has completely stopped
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- 4y
I've seen links of Discord groups of this theme that made me quite uncomfortable. It's just asking reassurance and asking other people to check things like sending photos. It made me uncomfortable and I don't think these groups are helpful at all for treating your OCD. What is your opinion on groups like this.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi Kristen. How do I tell the difference between perpetuating an unhelpful habit and talking to someone such as a counsellor or partner, to try and get better? e.g. What's the difference between "confessing" and talking to someone because bottling things up makes things worse, or between "reassurance-seeking"/ "certainty-seeking" and learning about your brain, causes and solutions to your mental illness?
- Date posted
- 4y
Please could someone respond to my question? I posted the question twice on the app as well in this thread an nobody has answered. Answering this question is really important to me.
- Date posted
- 4y
@usernameusername Reassurance-seeking can’t be fulfilled. It never ends. There’s always something more to seek certainty on. Plus, with reassurance-seeking that’s a compulsion so if you feel the urge, don’t give in.
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- 4y
@Madison Thank you for recognizing my comment and responding. What is the difference between reassurance seeking and talking to a counsellor?
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- 4y
@usernameusername Reassurance seeking is a compulsion since it has an urge. If you feel like you HAVE to do it, it’s a compulsion. Talking to a counselor can only become reassurance-seeking when you feel an urge to do it and that you HAVE to do it or else. Also, if your counselor is trained in OCD, they’ll be able to recognize your reassurance-seeking. That’s why getting an OCD specialist is so important.
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- 4y
thanks for sharing and for being an advocate :) also i just wanted to point out that “crippling” can be offensive to disabled community members!
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- 4y
Crippling anxiety literally means that it impairs your functioning. It's not offensive because it can be physicall or mentally crippling.
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- 4y
How do seek help like NOCD? Like how would you get the help online? I've not even been diagnosed but its pretty obvious i have OCD and my mum called the doctors they said it sounds like ocd but ive not actually been treated and i feel bad for being on this app..
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- 4y
And i haven't been diagnosed
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- 4y
@cleoeastwood Me either but it's obvious :-/
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- 4y
@kd88 😭😭 I feel awkward talking about it to people you know?
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- 4y
@cleoeastwood Of course you feel awkward about it ! It’s not an easy thing to talk about at all! You should be able to find on the app how to get a specialist
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Okay thankyou
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@cleoeastwood Totally because they don't have to live through it and can't really understand what it's like.
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@kd88 Oh phew 😅😅
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- 4y
Hi Kristen, my OCD got really bad too after having kids, and one of my compulsions is seeking reassurance too, what kind of OCD did u have? Mine centers around my kids health like contamination fears(toxins, radiation, heavy metals, bodily fluids)
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- 4y
I have POCD but I suffer in many themes
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- 4y
Like I get are u a p? For instance then like images :-/
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- 4y
Or just the word, so annoying
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@avh202021 It is very annoying and scary and stressful.
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What type of OCD do you have, Kristen?
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POCD
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I am struggling right now . My whole family is downstairs laughing and I am upstairs trying to fight the tears . I wish I didn’t have ocd and I need to talk to someone
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Were your intrusive thoughts about girl children or boy children?
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@Anonymous I have been in your spot before. I know how painful and scary it is it’s terrifying. But try taking some deep breaths and sit with how you feel
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I am . These past three days have been really bad
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- 4y
@Anonymous Just want you to know you are not alone. I am doing a lot better currently (compared to how I used to be), but in my early adult years and especially after having my own child, I had some very scary thoughts. I was too ashamed to tell anyone about it at the time. Anyways, I just want you to know that intrusive thoughts are a normal part of OCD, and do not reflect on you as a person. It’s just part of the disorder. I know it really sucks though and I am sorry for what you are going through during the holiday season.
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- 4y
Thanks! What plateform works best for you!
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- 4y
Anything! Doesn’t matter to me. You can text my regular number if you’d like?
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen What is the best number to text you about I really need help with my pocd today :(
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hi Kirsten. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am also suffering from OCD, Really themed around sexual images that pop up in my head that bother me, or intrusive thoughts about my relationship? ROCD. And fear of POCD. I really feel alone in this.. and was wondering if I can contact you as well?
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@Ani You absolutely can! I am here to help
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@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hey I’m really struggling with POCD from all aspects. From ALL inrusions. I need help. Can I message u?
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- 4y
Hey thanks Madison!
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- 4y
You bet!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi Kristen! I just started ERP with NOCD and it is not easy. My OCD sounds similar to yours although it’s more perinatal OCD. Can I reach out to chat if I have questions?
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- 4y
Absolutely!
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hey Kristen, you still available to chat?
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- 4y
@Anonymous Absolutely
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- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Instagram is @jeremykarlson05
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- 4y
Just ease into it. No therapist will be expecting you to tell them everything on the first day, alot of the process will be about engagement and building trust. You can speak in generalisations, that you have these thoughts, distrubing thoughts, that come into your head and you hate them and you ruminate and have comousliins around them etc. Don't have to say what they are specifically, just the patterns of thoughts, feeling, and behaviours. At the same time though, especially if this is an OCD specialist, they will have likely heard it all before, and will not judge you, they are there to help and listen, not to judge you
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- 4y
No worries
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- 4y
I could not able sit in that place for long time I will escape from that place it's troubling me lot
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- 4y
Hi Kristen, I’ve been in OCD based therapy for 6 months and things have become steadily worse which makes me worry that it is not OCD and that my thoughts are real, what would you suggest?
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- 4y
I’m sorry but have you been working with a NOCD therapist for 6 months ? I’m trying to find a therapist that specializes in OCD but takes my GHI insurance? It’s difficult to find a good therapist
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- 4y
Did you ever have symptoms of HOCD
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- 4y
Yes
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- 4y
How did you recover ? My daughter is 12 going on to 13 and it’s so hard for her.
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- 4y
I’m so sorry she’s experiencing that so young!
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- 3y
Hi, Kristen! I tried seeing if there was a way to message you directly but I don’t think there is. I’m a new mama struggling and feeling slightly alone and definitely isolated and was just wondering if you could offer some advice/words of hope as having gone through this yourself. Thanks so much!
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- 3y
If there’s anyway to message you directly that would be great but if not I totally understand!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Jerseyshore13 There’s a Mom’s group that meets online once a week. It’s a great group that is through NOCD. Might be worth looking into. You got this!
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- 3y
@magicalunicorn Thank you!
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- 4y
When your better. Do you still have the same questions over and over?
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- 4y
I’m not sure exactly what you mean
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- 4y
How did you get over you ocd?
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- 4y
I worry I’ll never get better and that my friends will just leave me cause I always call them to talk
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- 4y
I’m still struggling with my ocd
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- 4y
I did ERP
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- 4y
Good to know there’s others out there. Do you ever feel like a burden?
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- 4y
In some ways yes . I still pay rent with my apartment. I usually live alone but I been staying with my mom and she’s been great . Yet, I am filled with so much anxiety that sometimes I can tell she does not know what to do . I don’t bother with my friends because they do not understand ocd .
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- 3y
This is a big one for me. My OCD tells me that I am a burden, an embarrassment, and a disappointment. It also tells me my family and friends would be better off without me.
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- 4y
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- 4y
@FinnFacingForward It's a safe space for POCD sufferers, we are trying to build a supportive community there, it's in its early stages, but it's very open, non judgemental and supportive so far and is becoming quite a community.
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- 4y
Ok thank you I appreciate it
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- 4y
I'm terrified of ERP. I have fears about my husband lusting after other women or cheating on me. How do I go through ERP and expose both of us to something like that?? I don't want to tempt him with bad things. What would exposure therapy look like for that, because I don't want to go through it. I'm trying to find other ways to get rid of the obsessive thoughts and fears
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- 4y
That I wouldn’t know, you would have to see a therapist and discuss an ERP plan. I was terrified of ERP to, but taking the first step you won’t regret it
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hello, I know this post is from a long time ago but I just started NOCD with POCD and I was wondering if you would mind answering some questions?
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@Anonymous Absolutely!
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- 4y
Hi they might have you write things down like what if my husband is listing over women ? Maybe they will make you repeat it . It will feel uncomfortable but you might get used to it and not feel terrible thinking if your husband is listing over anyone
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Listing = lusting
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Lately I been scared of my heart beat pulsing like I always check to make sure it’s pulsing . Thought of it can stop or something
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I have a fear of someone will watch me from Windows when I sat inside home , what will be erp for this
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- 4y
Hi . They will probably have you write “ what if someone is watching me while I am sitting inside my home” they will have you repeat the phrase until it does not really bother you that much . I hope this helps
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- 4y
Hi. I'm new to the group. Does ERP help to quit smoking? I reach for a cigarette to calm my anxiety, which it really doesn't. Just been diagnosed with COPD
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- 4y
Go for medications it will help to calm anxiety
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- 4y
I am on Lamictal for bipolar 2, clonazapan, hydroxizine, Risperdal, wellbutrin for anxiety
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- 4y
Hi. I think I have a question. I want help with ERP with the things I worry about. I hear that confessing doesn't help, and reasurrance doesn't help in the long run. Only ERP does. Can you or anyone help me?
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- 4y
No not NOCD, a different one, but OCD specialist. I’m in the uk so can’t currently get NOCD therapy and yeah it is difficult finding a good therapist
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- 4y
Hey! I’m about to be a new time momma here in the next couple months and would love to talk to you more, is there anyway we can private message?
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- 3y
Kristen-Thank you for sharing your experience. My NOCD therapist is amazing. I have had OCD since childhood and never knew it. OCD wasn't even on my radar until about 2 weeks ago when I listened to a podcast of someone sharing their experience with OCD. I knew right away I needed professional help dealing with this. I was able to get a diagnosis earlier this week. I am so thankful for NOCD and treatment is covered by my insurance.
- Date posted
- 3y
This theme has been killing me for 2 years I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live with it anymore
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- 3y
I was in your exact position. But there is a way to over come this, please stay positive and know there is people here in this community who are here for you. This is a safe space
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- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I need therapy and help but can’t afford it. So I’m left to suffer in silence can’t talk to anyone.
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- 3y
Kristen do you have suggestions for POCD. I feel I have it, I honestly hate all these thoughts and could have never imagined having them. I get caught ruminating and the doubt that I hate these. My mind makes me feel like I’m lying that I hate these thoughts
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I just completed a check in with my therapist today so naturally I reflected on my journey with OCD. Summer/Fall of 2023 feels like a swath of darkness. Bombarded with horrible intrusive thoughts, I thought my life was over. I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hated myself. Life lost meaning for me and it felt as if every hope and dream was shattered. Needless to say my life was lost to me during a time when I should have been enjoying it the most. I was post grad with a good job lined up. But none of it mattered- my mind was as broken. Thank God, I had some small voice in me that urged me forward and to get help. So I did. I felt so scared and unsure. Was I doing the wrong thing going to therapy? I was not. It was the best decision I made for myself. Fast forward to nearly two years later, my life couldn’t be more different. I see and feel the light. I have so much love and gratitude for myself and for everyone who helped me along the journey. My therapist, my family, all the brave content creators who openly speak about their experiences, no matter how taboo. I won’t lie, it was a lot of work. And I had to learn to be uncomfortable and deal with frustrations. I had to learn to trust myself. I still deal with sticky and intrusive thoughts but my response and my daily life despite them can not be more different. So I am here to be proof to you that there is so much hope. If you don’t have the little voice in you urging you forward, than I will be just that. Go to therapy, get help, put in the work. It is so worth it. Every time there is a setback, and there will be many, push through. Feel free to ask questions! But no reassurance will be given.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 23w
My struggles with OCD began in childhood, but it wasn’t until after giving birth to my first child at 30 that I finally received a diagnosis. For years, I suffered in silence with intense anxiety, insomnia, and intrusive thoughts, but because my compulsions were mostly mental—constant rumination, reassurance-seeking, and avoidance—I didn’t realize I had OCD. I experienced Pure O, where my mind would latch onto terrifying thoughts, convincing me something was deeply wrong with me. After my son was born, I was consumed by intrusive fears of harming him, even though I loved him more than anything. Seven weeks into postpartum, I hit a breaking point and ended up in the emergency room, where I was finally diagnosed. For the first time, everything made sense. I didn’t discover exposure and response prevention (ERP) until years later when my son developed Germ OCD during COVID. I went through the program myself first, and it completely changed my life. ERP helped me sit with my intrusive thoughts instead of reacting to them, breaking the cycle that had controlled me for so long. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s so much better than before. I can finally be present instead of trapped in my head. Now, I’m working on trusting myself more and handling challenges without fear of “losing control.” As I prepare to help my daughter start therapy, I feel empowered knowing I’m giving my children the support I never had. If you know you have OCD but haven’t started therapy yet, what’s holding you back?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
Have you ever had a thought so unsettling it stopped you in your tracks? That’s how postpartum OCD started for me, triggered by my grandfather’s passing. After he died, a terrifying question popped into my head—What if I’m not a good person? From that moment, I became afraid of my own thoughts. When I had my daughter, a new fear took over: What if I could hurt her? I avoided being alone with her and constantly sought reassurance, but nothing eased the panic—until I found NOCD and realized I had OCD. Therapy was terrifying, but learning to face my fears instead of running from them changed everything. One day, when I was alone with my daughter, the thoughts came, and I simply responded, Maybe I could. Maybe I couldn’t, and moved on. That’s when I knew I was getting better. OCD no longer controls my life—and if you’re struggling, know that recovery is possible. I’ll be live on the app around 6:00 PM CT answering any questions, so ask away!"
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