- Username
- kleigh21
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I can highly relate! My question is... was seeking reassurance one of your compulsions! And if so, have you ever had someone confirm that your thoughts/something you did were in fact weird or suspicious? Dealing with this right now and it’s really tough. I feel like if someone else sees something strange in my thoughts/behavior, they must be true.
Yes I seemed reassurance almost 24/7. I was always googling or seeking some type of reassurance. And honestly I’ve never asked if my thoughts were weird I’ve just said that what if they are and I worked on it with my therapist. Now I just sometimes question if they are but I just do my erp if I obsess over it.
My question is if your ocd centers around a real flaw will ERP make you not care about that flaw ? Thank you
That’s a good question! It just depends. I’m not quite sure how to answer that
I have the same question! No, you will still care, but there will be no OCD attached to it. Instead of feeling panic and anxiety and a very strong urge to fix it immediately, you will feel like everyone else does about their flaws — something to be taken care of normally, calmly, as it comes up. No anxiety, no compulsive urge. ERP will take away the OCD reaction to the real flaw so you can react and respond like normal people.
@Madison That’s exactly right!
@Madison the ERP Ninja - I haven't done therapy yet, but what if the habit of the intrusive thought or what I call "inquiries based off of real events" is constantly haunting you and stealing your focus? I feel like I'm not having as much "anxiety" but I still feel the need to seek assurances or to "deal with the inquiry", and if I don't it's not just something that goes away for me. Then again, maybe it is anxiety just not classic anxiety. I constantly feel the need to "deal with things" that come up from the past or present etc. aka it still steals my peace of mind.
As a NOCD advocate to another who also mainly struggles with POCD how do you stay so positive with OCD NOCD helped me a ton but sometimes I just worry I may relapse. Is there I way I could further message you about POCD I feel like at times I am the only one with that theme if not no biggie. Thanks!
Yes! You definitely can message me
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Can I msg you as well? I’m struggling so bad.
I am suffering with Real event ocd and False memory. I don't know what to do.
I suffer with many themes of OCD but POCD is my main theme.
Me to. I was on drugs really bad in the past and I physically abused my son. I know what I did was absolutely horrible and sometimes unforgivable, but I have to forgive myself and move on. I've since gotten clean from drugs and am working on having more compassion and I've worked through my anger issues and I'm trying to be a decent person. DCF wants to give him back to me but I'm so afraid I will hurt him again. Or worse sexually abuse him I don't know why I feel like I would sexually abuse him maybe because I don't have anger issues anymore but I am insecure sometimes and I feel like if I stop talking to God, and reading the Bible, and going back to doing people dirty and being careless and mean that I will end abusing my son as well. I just want to be a good mom and feel that I have it in me. But it's a fear that I may hurt him
@Sarah That’s a great thing you got clean! And all you can do is take it day by day and do better then the day before.
I was supposed to go to my first therapy session today. It's in person and I'm scared of being misunderstood or misdiagnosed. I'm frightened that they are going to think I'm something I'm not
Someone once told me the crazy thing about being an over thinker is that we are usually right,,,, Using this theory how do we know we are not right about our thoughts and they are gut feelings
Lol, what? Overthinkers are usually just that: overthinkers. They’re not usually right. They think too much. And usually end up totally wrong and completely off base. Whoever told you that is wrong 💖
Ocd causes sensations that make you feel sure or like you found the truth. Don’t listen to it
Yeah I feel like my life has no meaning anymore and just has completely stopped
I've seen links of Discord groups of this theme that made me quite uncomfortable. It's just asking reassurance and asking other people to check things like sending photos. It made me uncomfortable and I don't think these groups are helpful at all for treating your OCD. What is your opinion on groups like this.
Hi Kristen. How do I tell the difference between perpetuating an unhelpful habit and talking to someone such as a counsellor or partner, to try and get better? e.g. What's the difference between "confessing" and talking to someone because bottling things up makes things worse, or between "reassurance-seeking"/ "certainty-seeking" and learning about your brain, causes and solutions to your mental illness?
Please could someone respond to my question? I posted the question twice on the app as well in this thread an nobody has answered. Answering this question is really important to me.
@usernameusername Reassurance-seeking can’t be fulfilled. It never ends. There’s always something more to seek certainty on. Plus, with reassurance-seeking that’s a compulsion so if you feel the urge, don’t give in.
@Madison Thank you for recognizing my comment and responding. What is the difference between reassurance seeking and talking to a counsellor?
@usernameusername Reassurance seeking is a compulsion since it has an urge. If you feel like you HAVE to do it, it’s a compulsion. Talking to a counselor can only become reassurance-seeking when you feel an urge to do it and that you HAVE to do it or else. Also, if your counselor is trained in OCD, they’ll be able to recognize your reassurance-seeking. That’s why getting an OCD specialist is so important.
thanks for sharing and for being an advocate :) also i just wanted to point out that “crippling” can be offensive to disabled community members!
Crippling anxiety literally means that it impairs your functioning. It's not offensive because it can be physicall or mentally crippling.
How do seek help like NOCD? Like how would you get the help online? I've not even been diagnosed but its pretty obvious i have OCD and my mum called the doctors they said it sounds like ocd but ive not actually been treated and i feel bad for being on this app..
And i haven't been diagnosed
@cleoeastwood Me either but it's obvious :-/
@kd88 😭😭 I feel awkward talking about it to people you know?
@cleoeastwood Of course you feel awkward about it ! It’s not an easy thing to talk about at all! You should be able to find on the app how to get a specialist
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Okay thankyou
@cleoeastwood Totally because they don't have to live through it and can't really understand what it's like.
@kd88 Oh phew 😅😅
Hi Kristen, my OCD got really bad too after having kids, and one of my compulsions is seeking reassurance too, what kind of OCD did u have? Mine centers around my kids health like contamination fears(toxins, radiation, heavy metals, bodily fluids)
I have POCD but I suffer in many themes
Like I get are u a p? For instance then like images :-/
Or just the word, so annoying
@avh202021 It is very annoying and scary and stressful.
What type of OCD do you have, Kristen?
POCD
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I am struggling right now . My whole family is downstairs laughing and I am upstairs trying to fight the tears . I wish I didn’t have ocd and I need to talk to someone
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Were your intrusive thoughts about girl children or boy children?
@Anonymous I have been in your spot before. I know how painful and scary it is it’s terrifying. But try taking some deep breaths and sit with how you feel
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I am . These past three days have been really bad
@Anonymous Just want you to know you are not alone. I am doing a lot better currently (compared to how I used to be), but in my early adult years and especially after having my own child, I had some very scary thoughts. I was too ashamed to tell anyone about it at the time. Anyways, I just want you to know that intrusive thoughts are a normal part of OCD, and do not reflect on you as a person. It’s just part of the disorder. I know it really sucks though and I am sorry for what you are going through during the holiday season.
Thanks! What plateform works best for you!
Anything! Doesn’t matter to me. You can text my regular number if you’d like?
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen What is the best number to text you about I really need help with my pocd today :(
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hi Kirsten. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am also suffering from OCD, Really themed around sexual images that pop up in my head that bother me, or intrusive thoughts about my relationship? ROCD. And fear of POCD. I really feel alone in this.. and was wondering if I can contact you as well?
@Ani You absolutely can! I am here to help
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hey I’m really struggling with POCD from all aspects. From ALL inrusions. I need help. Can I message u?
Hey thanks Madison!
You bet!
does accepting uncertainty help you in your dealing with pocd?
Hi Kristen! I just started ERP with NOCD and it is not easy. My OCD sounds similar to yours although it’s more perinatal OCD. Can I reach out to chat if I have questions?
Absolutely!
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hey Kristen, you still available to chat?
@Anonymous Absolutely
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Instagram is @jeremykarlson05
Just ease into it. No therapist will be expecting you to tell them everything on the first day, alot of the process will be about engagement and building trust. You can speak in generalisations, that you have these thoughts, distrubing thoughts, that come into your head and you hate them and you ruminate and have comousliins around them etc. Don't have to say what they are specifically, just the patterns of thoughts, feeling, and behaviours. At the same time though, especially if this is an OCD specialist, they will have likely heard it all before, and will not judge you, they are there to help and listen, not to judge you
No worries
I could not able sit in that place for long time I will escape from that place it's troubling me lot
Hi Kristen, I’ve been in OCD based therapy for 6 months and things have become steadily worse which makes me worry that it is not OCD and that my thoughts are real, what would you suggest?
I’m sorry but have you been working with a NOCD therapist for 6 months ? I’m trying to find a therapist that specializes in OCD but takes my GHI insurance? It’s difficult to find a good therapist
Did you ever have symptoms of HOCD
Yes
How did you recover ? My daughter is 12 going on to 13 and it’s so hard for her.
I’m so sorry she’s experiencing that so young!
Hi, Kristen! I tried seeing if there was a way to message you directly but I don’t think there is. I’m a new mama struggling and feeling slightly alone and definitely isolated and was just wondering if you could offer some advice/words of hope as having gone through this yourself. Thanks so much!
If there’s anyway to message you directly that would be great but if not I totally understand!
@Jerseyshore13 There’s a Mom’s group that meets online once a week. It’s a great group that is through NOCD. Might be worth looking into. You got this!
@magicalunicorn Thank you!
When your better. Do you still have the same questions over and over?
I’m not sure exactly what you mean
How did you get over you ocd?
I worry I’ll never get better and that my friends will just leave me cause I always call them to talk
I’m still struggling with my ocd
I did ERP
Good to know there’s others out there. Do you ever feel like a burden?
In some ways yes . I still pay rent with my apartment. I usually live alone but I been staying with my mom and she’s been great . Yet, I am filled with so much anxiety that sometimes I can tell she does not know what to do . I don’t bother with my friends because they do not understand ocd .
This is a big one for me. My OCD tells me that I am a burden, an embarrassment, and a disappointment. It also tells me my family and friends would be better off without me.
Ok thank you I appreciate it
I'm terrified of ERP. I have fears about my husband lusting after other women or cheating on me. How do I go through ERP and expose both of us to something like that?? I don't want to tempt him with bad things. What would exposure therapy look like for that, because I don't want to go through it. I'm trying to find other ways to get rid of the obsessive thoughts and fears
That I wouldn’t know, you would have to see a therapist and discuss an ERP plan. I was terrified of ERP to, but taking the first step you won’t regret it
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen Hello, I know this post is from a long time ago but I just started NOCD with POCD and I was wondering if you would mind answering some questions?
@Anonymous Absolutely!
Hi they might have you write things down like what if my husband is listing over women ? Maybe they will make you repeat it . It will feel uncomfortable but you might get used to it and not feel terrible thinking if your husband is listing over anyone
Listing = lusting
Lately I been scared of my heart beat pulsing like I always check to make sure it’s pulsing . Thought of it can stop or something
I have a fear of someone will watch me from Windows when I sat inside home , what will be erp for this
Hi . They will probably have you write “ what if someone is watching me while I am sitting inside my home” they will have you repeat the phrase until it does not really bother you that much . I hope this helps
Hi. I'm new to the group. Does ERP help to quit smoking? I reach for a cigarette to calm my anxiety, which it really doesn't. Just been diagnosed with COPD
Go for medications it will help to calm anxiety
I am on Lamictal for bipolar 2, clonazapan, hydroxizine, Risperdal, wellbutrin for anxiety
Hi. I think I have a question. I want help with ERP with the things I worry about. I hear that confessing doesn't help, and reasurrance doesn't help in the long run. Only ERP does. Can you or anyone help me?
No not NOCD, a different one, but OCD specialist. I’m in the uk so can’t currently get NOCD therapy and yeah it is difficult finding a good therapist
Hey! I’m about to be a new time momma here in the next couple months and would love to talk to you more, is there anyway we can private message?
Kristen-Thank you for sharing your experience. My NOCD therapist is amazing. I have had OCD since childhood and never knew it. OCD wasn't even on my radar until about 2 weeks ago when I listened to a podcast of someone sharing their experience with OCD. I knew right away I needed professional help dealing with this. I was able to get a diagnosis earlier this week. I am so thankful for NOCD and treatment is covered by my insurance.
This theme has been killing me for 2 years I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live with it anymore
I was in your exact position. But there is a way to over come this, please stay positive and know there is people here in this community who are here for you. This is a safe space
@NOCD Advocate - Kristen I need therapy and help but can’t afford it. So I’m left to suffer in silence can’t talk to anyone.
Kristen do you have suggestions for POCD. I feel I have it, I honestly hate all these thoughts and could have never imagined having them. I get caught ruminating and the doubt that I hate these. My mind makes me feel like I’m lying that I hate these thoughts
Hi! My name is Mikhail. I have been diagnosed with OCD for a couple years now, and this year I started ERP therapy at NOCD. I first found out about Pure O from downloading NOCD's app and seeing other people post about their experiences with overthinking, fear, and shame. While I had been diagnosed with OCD before, I had never heard about Pure O, where the compulsions manifest themselves more internally. I was at a point in my life where I was isolating myself and afraid of the thoughts I was having all day every day. This eroded away my self-esteem and identity but the skills I learned doing ERP have helped me feel like myself again. I recommend doing ERP to anyone afflicted with OCD, as it has helped me train the mental muscles I needed to get back to my life again. NOCD specialists meet you where you are at and help you get better on your own terms. I have taken the opportunity to be an advocate because once I found out I wasn't alone with Pure OCD, it reignited the faith I had in ever recovering. Learning about other people's experiences and sharing my own has helped me live more authentically. I want to do anything I can to encourage others to recover as well, because I know it is possible and that this condition is manageable. Going through NOCD treatment invoked genuine compassion in me not just for others, but for myself, which is something I never truly felt before. If you have any questions at all, please reach out to me. I feel purpose in connecting with people about OCD and getting better together. Believe me, you are not the only one who has thought that crazy thing and then thought about thinking about it 17 more times until it impacted your behavior!
Hi everyone! I just wanted to share a little about my story and where I'm at now in my life after the help of NOCD. At 17 years old I started having my Pocd thoughts and I was absolutely terrified! I didn't want to get out of bed, eat, or do anything at all. I was constantly like that for almost two years, daily I depended on my compulsions to be able to get up and do things, little did I know the compulsions were just making me much worse. Thankfully I had someone refer me to NOCD, and I had an amazing therapist. I was pregnant and really struggling so hard to become better before my baby arrived. My therapist helped and worked with me so hard and tremendously, I couldn't thank her enough she was amazing! Now I'm able to take care of my child my OCD is so mild and I get to live the best life I can. If you're feeling lost, or hopeless please get help through NOCD. It is absolutely a life changing therapy. Have faith, stay strong because you too can overcome your OCD!❤️ if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.
Hi everyone! Having gone through NOCD therapy to now working here full-time, I feel like I’ve had the pleasure of not only finally getting appropriate care, but seeing the entire process of treatment here from both sides. That being said, I remember how absolutely terrified I was when I first started. Is there something holding you back? Want to check in with someone who has done this first before taking that step? Ask me your questions below, I would love to do what I can to help you feel confident taking this incredible step towards overcoming your battle with OCD.💗
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